


I Never Told You...

by thePetetoherPatrick



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, Angst, Cheating, Danger Days AU, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, May Add More Tags as I post this, Mpreg, NaNoWriMo, Smut, Some Fluff, Violence and Murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-09-16 17:56:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 24
Words: 50,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16958784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thePetetoherPatrick/pseuds/thePetetoherPatrick
Summary: “You know, I took this…meaning to read it. After a while I forgot about it and then when I found it in my pocket again, I decided I’d wait and let you tell me what was in it. The more I think about it, the more I think that was the wrong decision. That maybe I should just read it because you’re never going to tell me.”Frank glanced at him and handed it to him. It was unopened still.“But now, I don’t really care what it says. I’ve been trying, Gerard, against all my better judgement. I let your brother and Bob lecture me. I listened to them and I tried to give you the chance to tell me in your own time. But it’s been so long…I can’t keep doing this.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the fic that I dropped everything for the whole month of November to write for my Nanowrimo. I actually had a lot of fun with it and may do it again next year. I hope you guys like this, I'm super proud of what I came up with. It's a bit of a roller coaster so strap in and get ready for this ^-^

Gerard flopped onto the ratty couch in the corner of the tour bus with a heavy sigh. He was tired and sweaty but he couldn’t be happier. Frank and the others had stopped to take turns in the dressing room showers at the venue. It’d been a while and five smelly guys living on a bus for months was a life none of them wanted if they could avoid it even partially. The reality was that Frank was probably the only one that showered and did laundry at every available opportunity. Even if it meant he was using a Ziplock bag full of water to shower in a outside in a corner where no one could see him, wearing swimming trunks. Gerard decided he’d be fine for now and laid staring at the ceiling of bus, his veins on fire with the adrenaline of the show.

 

The door opening and snapping shut brought Gerard back to reality. Frank shook his head and grinned, moving over to lean down and kiss Gerard. He wrinkled his nose his nose up as he pulled.

 

“Dude, you reek. Showers are non-optional today.”

 

“Says you.”

 

“I’m waiting for your brother to get the fuck out. We divided up between the two dressing rooms they opened up for us, because the venue people were nice and opened a second one for us. Bob and Ray in one, and Mikey and I in the other but he takes a century so I came back to wait with you.”

 

“Still.”

 

Frank rolled his eyes.

 

“Let me put it this way. You’re not getting any till you shower.”

 

Gerard looked up at him and stuck out his tongue. Then he grinned mischievously and sat up to look at Frank properly.

 

“We could always do both. Saves water and time.”

 

Frank laughed and shook his head.

 

“That works for me.”

 

~~~~~

 

Gerard flinched as Frank refereed an argument between Mikey and Bob for about the eighth time in the last three days, over something so petty and stupid that Gerard knew there had to be more to it.

 

“Guys!”

 

Ray barked sharply, his brows creased together and a look near fury set deep in his usually kind face. He didn’t remember the last time he’d seen Ray that pissed off. They all froze and looked at him.

 

“Knock it off before I knock heads together. What the fuck is wrong with you two?”

 

Mikey’s face slipped back into his signature poker face and he refused to say anything. Bob set his jaw and wouldn’t look at Ray properly.

 

“One of you had better fucking spit it out right now because I’ve had it with the constant fighting.”

 

Bob mumbled something and Ray glared at him.

 

“What was that, Robert?”

 

Bob made a face at the used of his whole first name.

 

“I guess what they say about dating your bandmates is right. Especially sluts as easy as Mikey Way.”

 

Bob growled before storming out to leave the others gaping at Mikey.

 

“What the hell just...Mikey?”

 

Gerard looked at him in concern.

 

“Does this have anything to do with last week?”

 

Frank asked and Mikey hung his head in shame.

 

“Dude!”

 

Frank looked pissed and Gerard was still confused, but also pissed off that Bob would throw around an accusation like that about Mikey.

 

“I don’t care why Bob is pissed, nothing gives him the right to talk to my brother like that.”

 

“Gee, I walked onto the bus last week to find Pete Wentz balls deep in your supposedly innocent little brother. I’m guessing this is a reoccurring issue if Bob is that upset about it. Though I didn’t know they were dating.”

 

“Mikey…?”

 

Gerard looked at him, hoping that Frank was wrong, but Mikey just nodded.

 

“Was it...just Pete?”

 

He shook his head and Ray frowned, making an irritated little noise.

 

“Wait...how long have you and Bob….?”

 

“We’ve been dating for three years…”

 

Mikey admitted barely above a whisper. Gerard’s heart hurt for Bob. They were dating, not even just sleeping together, but dating for three years and Mikey hurt him.

 

“Mikey! How dare you!”

 

Ray’s face lit up in outrage.

 

“Wait, what?”

 

“I was with Mikey for like two months a year ago. He wanted to keep it quiet but I thought it was just you he wasn’t ready to tell, Gee.”

 

“Mikey, who else of our friends have you slept with?”

 

Mikey hesitated for a second but Gerard looked at him expectantly.

 

“Um...Bert was fucking around with a lot of people behind your back…”

 

Mikey hung his head again as Gerard stared at him wide eyed.

 

“I will shamefully admit…...that I was one of them.”

 

Frank sighed and Gerard glared at him hard.

 

“No! Not Bert. God no. Mikey...I was with Mikey around when you were with Bert. I don’t think I’ve ever been that drunk. It was once and then I got my wits about me and it didn’t happen again no matter how convincing he tried to be.”

 

“I knew about you and Bert….and Gabe.”

 

Ray sighed and glared at Mikey.

 

“What the hell were you thinking?”

 

Mikey shook his head and looked like he was trying not to cry.

 

“Mikey, I cannot believe you would do that, and to so many of our friends.”

 

Mikey looked at Gerard with watery eyes before he ran out of the room. Gerard hesitated only a minute before going after him and leaving Frank and Ray to discuss whatever.

 

It didn’t take much for Gerard to find Mikey. He was so small looking, curled up under the big tree near the bus. Gerard could hear the broken little sobs and it made his heart wrench in his chest. No matter what he’d done, Mikey was his little brother and it hurt to see him in pain. Gerard kneeled carefully on the ground in front of Mikey and reached out to cover his hand with his.

 

“Mikey…”

 

Mikey looked up at him with tear stained cheeks.

 

“G-gee…..I...I f-fucked up s-so bad.”

 

“No, it’ll be ok….”

 

“No...y-you don’t…..understand.”

 

“Well then make me understand.”

 

“I…”

 

Mikey hiccuped and wiped at his face.

 

“I…actually…l-love...Bob.”

 

Gerard sighed and hugged Mikey tight.

 

“You don’t cheat on someone you love.”

 

“I was...n-never good enough f-for him.”

 

Gerard frowned.

 

“Did he tell you that?”

 

“N-no...I just know I’m n-not. He...d-deserves better than a s-slut and an addict.”

 

Mikey buried his face against Gerard shoulder.

 

“You didn’t stop when I did like you said you did, did you?”

 

Mikey shook his head.

 

“Has it gotten worse?”

 

Mikey nodded shakily.

 

“How much worse?”

 

“N-not just pills and b-booze anymore.”

 

Gerard frowned, but if Mikey admitted that to him then maybe he knew he needed help.

 

“Why didn’t Bob tell us?”

 

“He didn’t kn-know...didn’t l-let him know.”

 

Gerard sighed heavily and kissed the top of Mikey’s head.

 

“It’s gonna be ok. I’m gonna get you some help. You’ll get better. Okay?”

 

Mikey nodded and Gerard sat there with him for a long time, just holding him. He made a mental list of calls to make and prepared himself for everything to come next.

 

~~~~~

 

The headlines of music blogs and magazines alike screamed for months about My Chemical Romance’s break up and speculations about why flew. It was a royal mess but they kept it under wraps. The only slip up was a couple of angry tweets from Bob that made the fans hate him but Gerard worked quickly to reach him and talk to him. Bob apologized and took down the tweets immediately. He even promised to help with Mikey’s recovery as much as Mikey would let him.

 

After Mikey finished his rehab and was done staying with Gerard till they were sure he was doing better he moved to LA, searching for a fresh start and a new environment. It worried Gerard but Ray went with him and promised to keep an eye on him.

 

It took nearly two years for the articles to slow to a minimum and people to stop asking for answers where none were being given. They moved onto the next thing and Gerard finally breathed a sigh of relief.

 

Gerard and Frank found other ways to live. They found a nice little apartment in a quieter, if not maybe a little sketchier, area of New Jersey. Gerard took up working on comic books full time and Frank found work here and there doing a couple of different things. It became easy and comfortable. Frank was still working on music, he couldn’t seem to ever really stop. It was different but Gerard loved the raw sound of it. He loved everything about their new life, and Frank.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yeah, I just...I realized we’ve never talked about after we get married…”
> 
> “What do you mean?”
> 
> “I mean like...where do you see us? Do we want a family? Or do we just get a cute dog?”
> 
> Frank raised an eyebrow.
> 
> “I hadn’t realized we’d never talked about it. Eventually, maybe, we could have a family. I love kids, you know that, but I think we need a better situation before we think about a family. Maybe a couple years to get settled. I wouldn’t be opposed to adopting a dog though, if you wanted to.”

“No, come on, pen down, let’s go.”

 

Frank chuckled as he tugged at Gerard’s sweater gently.

 

“Come on, Frankie, I’m on a roll.”

 

“No, this is gonna be fun, I promise.”

 

“Frank, it’s ass o’clock at night. Why can’t this wait till morning?”

 

“So, I guess you don’t want to stop working for like an hour to come see the surprise I’ve spent like a month getting ready for you.”

 

Gerard raised an eyebrow and looked to up to see Frank was being serious.

 

“What the hell did you spend a month on?”

 

“You gotta put down the pen and come with me to find out.”

 

Frank held his hand out with a grin. Gerard looked at him uncertainly for a second before reaching out to take his hand. Frank smiled widely and led Gerard out to his little car.

 

“Where are we going?”

 

“That is a surprise.”

 

Frank shook his head and held open the passenger door for him to climb in. Gerard looked at him curiously but got into the car anyways. He watched as Frank half ran around the front of the car to get in the driver’s side. He seemed bubbly, almost, and excited about whatever he was up to and Gerard couldn’t help but love it. The drive was quiet but it was a comfortable silence. Frank drove out towards their favourite picnic spot just outside the city in a quiet little park. Gerard looked at Frank as he pulled into the empty, gravelly parking lot.

 

“You wanna grab the blanket out of the back for me?”

 

Gerard nodded and climbed out as Frank opened the center console. He turned around in his seat to grab the neatly folded blanket. He heard Frank put a CD in the disc player and get out of the car.

 

“Come on.”

 

Frank encouraged him and Gerard got out to join Frank at the front of the car. Frank took the blanket and spread it out over the hood, before climbing up to lay on it.

 

“This is what you spent a month on?”

 

“No, get up here.”

 

Gerard shook his head but did as Frank asked, laying back beside him as he started to hear the CD playing.

 

“So...what are we doing?”

 

Frank sighed and looked at him but didn’t say anything. Gerard just listened for a while and furrowed his brow as he realized the music playing was something Frank had written and made himself. Gerard looked up at the stars and listened. The lyrics made him tear up a little and he didn’t totally realize till it was over that it was about him. He looked at Frank.

 

“Frankie…”

 

“Do you remember our first date?”

 

“Of course, I do. We were on tour and you took me out for ice cream and we laid in a parking lot and looked at the stars.”

 

Gerard smiled warmly at the memory.

 

“That was a very sweet song you made. It took you month?”

 

“Yeah, I wanted it to be perfect for tonight.”

 

Gerard looked over at Frank and instead was greeted by a small object two inches from his face. He lifted his head as his eyes focused on the little box. Inside was the prettiest ring he’d ever seen.

 

“Frank……?”

 

He looked at him wide eyed but Frank just grinned.

 

“Are you…? Is this…?”

 

Frank laughed and nodded as he sat up to face Gerard.

 

“Yes. Will you marry, Gerard?”

 

Gerard teared up a little and sat up to crawl into Frank’s lap.

 

“Yes.”

 

Gerard kissed him and wrapped his arms tightly around Frank’s neck.

 

~~~~~

 

“Yes, Mikey, I’m serious.”

 

Gerard chuckled as he glanced at the video call sitting beside his sketchbook, the phone propped up against his coffee mug so that Mikey could actually see him and he could see Mikey.

 

“Your fiancé is the cheesiest motherfucker on the face of the earth.”

 

“I can’t even argue there but it was sweet.”

 

Gerard grinned, replaying the night in his head.

 

“You two are just meant for each other. I am, however, offended that it took you two months to tell me.”

 

“You’re the one that doesn’t answer his damn phone.”

 

“I’m sorry, ok, I’ve been busy lately.”

 

Mikey shrugged and smiled at him apologetically. Gerard heard a door open and close on Mikey’s side of the call. Gerard smiled and shook his head as he worked on another section of the drawing he was working on.

 

“Hey, Ray.”

 

He hollered and Mikey shook his head as Ray leaned onto his shoulder to grin widely at Gerard.

 

“Hey, Gee, how’s it going up there?”

 

“Pretty good, you?”

 

“Well other than this Way being a mild pain in the ass sometimes, it’s been all good.”

 

Ray chuckled and ducked away as Mikey swatted at him. Gerard shook his head and laughed at the pair of them. He knew nothing was going on, he’d asked once and Ray very firmly assured him and promised that there was nothing going on. Mikey was a little offended that Gerard had to ask but he understood it.

 

“I gotta go, Gee, I’ll talk to you later?”

 

“Yeah definitely, Mikes. Love you.”

 

“Love you too Gee.”

 

Gerard nodded as they both hung up. He looked at the clock and sighed heavily. Frank wouldn’t be home for a couple hours. He hopped off the stool and headed for the fridge. He looked at the list of things he wanted to do today and sighed.

 

~~~~~

 

He sat curled up on the couch with a blanket wrapped around him, the little pink plus sign etched into his brain. Frank had called, he was working late tonight. Gerard had gone to the drug store finally after a week of wrestling with himself about it but he decided it was better to know than to wonder. He wanted to tell Frank but he was afraid of what Frank would think. They hadn’t really talked about kids much beyond when they started dating and Gerard told Frank he was a carrier, which led to Frank immediately going out and buying a box of condoms. He jumped a little when the front door opened.

 

“Hey, babe.”

 

Frank called as he kicked off his shoes.

 

“Hey, Frankie.”

 

Gerard called back and looked back to see Frank come into the living room.

 

“How was work?”

 

“Zack is an idiot but what else is new?”

 

Gerard chuckled weakly as Frank flopped on the couch beside him.

 

“How was your day?”

 

“Got another part of the comic done.”

 

“You’ll have to show my later. Did you get to talk to Mikey again like you wanted?”

 

“No, he was busy today.”

 

“Next time then, I guess.”

 

Normally the silence between them was easy and comfortable. They could coexist without constant noise. Half the time they didn’t even need to talk to communicate. But today Gerard was just far too anxious about it.

 

“Hey, Frank?”

 

Frank looked over at him and raised an eyebrow at the tone in Gerard’s voice.

 

“I was thinking…”

 

Frank furrowed his brows together in concern for him and sat up properly to turn his full attention to Gerard.

 

“You alright?”

 

“Yeah, I just...I realized we’ve never talked about after we get married…”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I mean like...where do you see us? Do we want a family? Or do we just get a cute dog?”

 

Frank raised an eyebrow.

 

“I hadn’t realized we’d never talked about it. Eventually, maybe, we could have a family. I love kids, you know that, but I think we need a better situation before we think about a family. Maybe a couple years to get settled. I wouldn’t be opposed to adopting a dog though, if you wanted to.”

 

Frank tilted his head and watched Gerard curiously. Gerard felt his heart sink a little bit but he forced a smile and nodded. He did know Frank liked kids but that didn’t equate to wanting your own so Gerard wouldn’t assume that. He understood what Frank meant but they didn’t have a couple of years anymore. They had eight months to get their shit together. He wanted to just tell Frank but he couldn’t force the words out of his mouth.

 

“Yeah, a little dog would probably be nice.”

 

Frank smiled and leaned over to kiss Gerard gently.

 

“I’ll keep an eye out for any little rescues looking for a home and we’ll get you a little friend to keep you company.”

 

~~~~~

 

Frank cursed as he struggled to tighten the last screw in the new lock he fastened on the door. This was the third apartment in the last month. When the attacks started Frank got worried about pretty much everything. Some people ran when things started to change. Some stood and fought.

 

There were those that surrendered to Better Living Industries and others that even thought it was a good idea. That complete conformity was what the world needed. Frank was not one of those people. He wanted to leave, to run like the others to regroup and fight back, but Gerard couldn’t. He couldn’t have the baby in the War Zones and he couldn’t end the pregnancy. He knew he never could and so did Frank, that was why they’d been careful. Gerard still hadn’t told Frank though. He’d tried but he was never able to get the words out.

 

“They are borderline brainwashing people. We’ve already heard of eighteen people who openly challenged BLind that have gone missing.”

 

“I’m sure it’s not like that, Frankie.”

 

Gerard knew it was like that though. They had gone after Mikey, but he didn’t tell Frank about it. Mikey was hiding and safe for now. When Frank went to work Gerard looked at the letter sitting on the counter. They hadn’t opened it but he’d heard whispers about it. Gerard thought it could be worth a shot but Frank wasn’t having it. It was safer for the baby to give in. He couldn’t imagine trying to raise it alone and, on the run if everything Frank said was true. He firmly decided to convince Frank when he came home from work, even if that meant telling him about the baby.

 

~~~~~

 

Gerard grew more anxious and uncertain the later it got. Frank should have been home by now. He still hadn’t been able to tell him about the baby but mostly because Frank had seemed so busy. He was rarely ever really there during the day anymore and that just made Gerard worry. They had argued about BL and it had gotten nowhere.

 

“C’mon, Frankie. Come home please.”

 

He muttered absently to himself as he paced restlessly, watching the clock as he moved. He just about jumped out of his skin when there was a knock on the door. He went over to open it cautiously and found a small woman in a suit, with her dark hair pulled back in a bun and a clipboard rested on her arm.

 

“Uh...hi…?”

 

Gerard raised an eyebrow.

 

“Hello. Are you Mr. Way or Mr. Iero?”

 

“Way...how can I help you?”

 

Gerard asked warily. It was plainly obvious she was from BL and he shouldn’t trust her right away.

 

“Your household is the last in the area scheduled for relocation. Surely you got your letter.”

 

“I never looked at it.”

 

She frowned at this and flipped through her clipboard.

 

“Perhaps I can come in and show you what it was? I can answer any questions you have and make the transition much easier for you.”

 

Gerard watched her for a minute.

 

“Um...I guess.”

 

He moved so she could step inside.

 

“I’m Cara, by the way.”

 

“Gerard.”

 

He offered his hand but she looked at the clipboard again.

 

“Do you know when Mr. Iero will be home?”

 

“No, sorry, Frank works late sometimes.”

 

Gerard gestured for her to have a seat at the kitchen counter as he closed the door.

 

“I see. Well in any case the letter you received was a relocation notice. This area is dangerously close to the Zones and we are moving populations into renovated and repurposed inner-city areas.”

 

She pulled out a few pages and set them on the counter to display them for him to look at.

 

“There is a two-bedroom apartment set aside for you and Mr. Iero. It’s small but comfortable.”

 

She gestured to a page with some pictures and information. Gerard hesitantly leaned to look at it. It looked plain but otherwise nice.

 

“And there are jobs for both of you. You are set up to be in Communications and Mr. Iero has a slot in Security.”

 

Gerard nodded and looked at the rest of the papers. It looked simple and most importantly it looked safe. There was a school in the inner city. There were stores and a park. There was good paying jobs and a good home for his family. Gerard wished so much that Frank was here with him right now. That he could see this. It dawned on him that Frank wouldn’t have even let Cara inside to show them this and his heart hurt a little bit. He wanted Frank to see this.

 

“So...how long does this take?”

 

“I have a car and a few people waiting downstairs, I’d hoped both of you would be here but we can relocate you tonight preferably. I don’t know how often you go outside but it’s not really safe anymore.”

 

Gerard looked at the papers again and nodded.

 

“Good, lets get you packed up. We will leave a note on the door for Mr. Iero and will send people back in the morning to get him and his things.”

 

She looked at her smartwatch and started to tap at the screen. Gerard went to pack and grabbed some paper to leave a note of his own for Frank.

 

~~~~~

 

Frank someone tapped on his shoulder as he walked out of work late.

 

“What the fucking hell?”

 

He spun around to come face to face with none other than Mikey Way.

 

“Mikey?”

 

Mikey shushed him and pulled him out of view.

 

“What are you doing here?” 

 

“I’ve been on the run for a while, Gee didn’t tell you?”

 

“No, what happened?”

 

“They came after me and Ray a while ago and we both agreed that wasn’t happening. They are relocating people in the northern cities to inner city. In the south, though, they are just evacuating cities and moving people north. Bombs in the south are bigger than any dropped here in the north and it’s destroying a lot.”

 

 “What? You’ve got to be kidding me. You told your brother this?”

 

“Yeah, right after it happened. I didn’t want him to call and then be worried because I wasn’t answering. We had to ditch our phones right after I called him.”

 

Frank frowned deeply and his mind reeled.

 

“Why the fuck wouldn’t Gerard tell me about that?”

 

“I don’t know. When I talked him, he said you were leaning towards leaving and that seemed to upset him. Maybe he thought if you heard what happened with us you’d want to leave even more.”

 

Mikey didn’t look happy about that idea and Frank wasn’t either.

 

“I don’t know why he’s pushing for us to conform and relocate like they want us to. I thought he would have been with me about leaving and fighting but he’s reluctant and won’t give me a clear answer as to why.”

 

“That’s weird. Gerard has always been the first to encourage people to be different and break the norms.”

 

Frank nodded and shrugged as Mikey spoke.

 

“I don’t know what his problem.”

 

“Wait…where is Gerard?”

 

“He’s at home. He works from home and doesn’t leave the house much, which makes me feel better because I know he’s safe there.”

 

“We need to get him. Now.”

 

“They’ve got roads shut down, we gotta take the ferry and if someone sees you…”

 

“Then we take the old bridge and we walk. As long as we get Gee tonight and they haven’t already.”

 

~~~~~

 

Frank’s heart sank when he saw the paper taped to the door. He read it carefully.

 

_Residents of 193 have been successfully and willingly relocated, their new address is listed below._

_Ps. Mr. Iero, a car will be sent in the morning to pick you up as Mr. Way stated that you work late occasionally. Please have all belongings ready._

 

And then it listed their new address in the inner-city and nothing else.

 

“Shit. They fucking took him, those bastards waited until I wasn’t home and they took him.”

 

Mikey came up the stairs in time to hear Frank muttering and cursing.

 

“What? No. They…”

 

Mikey looked at the note and frowned. Frank could see the anger and frustration flashing in his eyes. Frank shoved the note in his pocket before slamming the door open and running to the bedroom. He grabbed his backpack and shoved what he would need in it. He stopped and looked at the ring box holding two gold wedding bands that were just waiting to be exchanged. He grabbed in and shoved it in on top. Gerard had left them behind. He’d left Frank behind. He ran back out to join Mikey so they could go meet up with Ray, wherever he was.

 

~~~~~

 

Gerard woke in the bare, clean, white apartment he’d been given. It was strange. They’d given him clothes and took his bags away. When they returned it only an hour later all of his clothes were gone. They left his art supplies, keepsakes, and photos. They didn’t even go near his engagement ring, they didn’t dare to. He got out of bed and showered, dressing in the simple grey clothes given to him. They were comfortable at least.

 

He padded out to the kitchen, which had been stocked with good, healthy food as promised. There was actually coffee to his surprise. He turned on the coffee maker as someone knocked on the door. He went to answer it and found that it was Cara.

 

“Mr. Way, good morning. I hope you slept well.”

 

“Gerard, and yes, I did. Thank you. Come in.”

 

He let her in and found himself unsure of what Frank and Mikey had been worried about. They had been nothing but kind so far.

 

“We went back to your apartment this morning, as promised.”

 

Gerard looked at her hopefully.

 

“Where is Frank?”

 

She sighed heavily and shook her head.

 

“Mr. Iero wasn’t there, however, there were signs that someone was there after we left last night. His clothes are gone, but the note you left was still there.”

 

She handed it to him, still sealed. Frank hadn’t found it. He could feel his heart shatter as she spoke. His eyes burned as he realized Frank had made his choice. He was so against BL that he left him. Gerard was alone.

 

“We can situate you into your job placement as soon as possible and arrange, potentially, for a smaller one-person apartment if you’d like.”

 

He said nothing and she paused to watch him as his mind reeled, his hand resting on his stomach and the other holding the unopened note.

 

“Mr. Way?”

 

Gerard looked at her with tears in his eyes and she showed slight concern in her expression.

 

“He’s gone…he left me…”

 

“We will look for him. We don’t know exactly what happened, but we will look for him. But…are you alright? Does your stomach hurt? I can get a doctor if you need.”

 

“No…I’m just…pregnant…”

 

Her expression changed and she looked almost sympathetic. She tapped at her watch and began talking again, though, so she didn’t have too much sympathy. Gerard barely heard anything she said.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Wait, what is that?”
> 
> He panicked and moved away from her.
> 
> “It’ll make this a lot easier. Don’t worry.”
> 
> “I don’t want to be put under…please don-.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so with this chapter I'm gonna do something I don't normally do and take a page out of Momiji's play book.   
> I have for you...a contest. First person to guess where I got the baby's name from and why I chose it gets one (1) free full colour drawing request from me.

Gerard sat at his neat little desk plugging away at the files he was in charge of. He basically just sorted emails and documents all day. He didn’t know what most of it was because it was coded but he’d been taught what to look for to be able to sort them at least.

 

He’d been doing this for a while. The only reason he knew it’d been six months was the ever-growing swell of the baby. His days and nights blurred together. BL like complete conformity and consistency above all else. Most days he felt more like a robot but in his mind, he knew that a robot wasn’t likely to be eight months pregnant. There was little variation most of the time and it was easy to fall into the routine.

 

Gerard was a variant though. While most went out after they clocked out, Gerard would walk the long way. He went through the park to get him. It was a large park, with trees and gardens making it a pretty place. Cara advised him against walking alone so close to his due date but it was nicer to have that peace to himself. He liked to be alone, away from the hivemind. He was also fond of the distinct lack of the colour white that the park held.

 

When the little alarm on his smartwatch went off he smiled and clocked out, heading immediately for the park. He walked slowly along the little path, it was windy out today and it made him grateful for the warm jacket he’d worn in the morning. The clouds blocked out a lot of the stars, though, and Gerard wished it could have been clearer out but there wasn’t anything to be done about it.

 

He found his mind wandering as he walked. He didn’t know why but tonight he thought of Frank. Just the little things. The way he leaned against the kitchen counter in the morning, coffee in one hand and the other flailing as he spoke. Even just the way he took his coffee, sweet as hell but black because he was lactose intolerant and didn’t like the powdered creamer. He could see the memories playing out in his head so clearly it was almost like being there again. Frank sitting on the tour bus throwing smarties at Ray. Frank climbing up onto Bob’s shoulders and Mikey teasing Bob for letting him do it and for the amount of effort he put into making sure Frank wouldn’t fall and hurt himself while he was up there. He remembered how Frank stayed with him and wouldn’t let him be alone after his grandmother passed away. He remembered how much Frank tried to convince him that he didn’t need Gerard to take care of him the time he got a really bad bout of the flu.

 

He was brought out of the memories by the baby kicking. Gerard’s eyes burned more as he thought about a future he couldn’t have. He could imagine a little boy with Frank’s face, getting into mischief with his father as Gerard tried to reign them in and stop the Iero boys from embarrassing the family. Or a little girl with her father’s attitude, pouting at Frank for telling her no…and how quickly Frank would cave to that pout. It hurt so deeply that Frank wasn’t there. Gerard stopped and gently sat down on the nearest bench he could find as the tears and heart break took over. He sat for a while, finally letting himself cry. For Frank leaving. For the fact that there had been no sign of him since. For their child, who’s father didn’t even know they existed. He let it out and curled in on himself as the sobs shook him.

 

~~~~~

 

Gerard woke up and cried out in pain. He wasn’t sure what part of it hurt more, it just all hurt. He knew what was happening though. This baby wanted out of him and it wasn’t waiting the last couple of weeks. He scrambled for his phone and brought up Cara’s number. He didn’t really have anyone else. She didn’t take long to answer.

 

“Gerard?”

 

“It’s time.”

 

That was all he needed to say. The next hour was hell. Gerard got himself out of bed the best he could and tried not to cry as the pain got worse. Cara was quicker getting to him than he’d thought she’d be and he was grateful for it. It took longer to get to the hospital though as the early morning traffic had started already. Everything sort of blurred for a while after that but the wait at the hospital took about as long as the drive there. Cara tried to soothe him the back she could but when the doctor did finally show up Cara was sent out of the room. The doctor and a few nurses went to work immediately and one of them brought a needle over and started to get ready to give it to him.

 

“Wait, what is that?”

 

He panicked and moved away from her.

 

“It’ll make this a lot easier. Don’t worry.”

 

“I don’t want to be put under…please don-.”

 

He didn’t even get a chance to finish his sentence as she administered the drug. It acted quickly and his brain got really foggy. The pain stopped after a little while though and eventually all he could see was black.

 

~~~~~

 

He came to and the room was empty except for Cara, and she was holding a small bundled up blanket. She smiled when she saw him coming to and brought the baby over to set it on his chest. It as a little girl if the pink ribbon on the edge of the blanket was to be believed. She was so small and she curled up against him as he brought his arms up to hold her gently.

 

“What are you going to name her?”

 

Cara asked as a nurse came in to check on him. Gerard had picked names months ago and he smiled.

 

“River.”

 

He kissed the baby’s head and watched her squirm around until she was comfortable.

 

“That’s a pretty name.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Traffic is moving steady along the main streets and no sign of any troubles so far. The forecast is calling for rain later in the day, though, so all drivers are advised to be careful.”
> 
> Gerard nodded as he turned at the lights.
> 
> “In other news; Killjoy numbers have grown causing more security concerns and turmoil in the Zones. Most of these criminals are armed and dangerous. If you must travel through the Zones, don’t go alone and make sure someone knows where you’re going.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to post this yesterday but I got busy with Yule and Solstice celebrations and forgot. Sorry guys. Next week I'll get back on my schedule.

“River? Come on, baby girl, we gotta go or we’re gonna be late.”

 

Gerard called from the kitchen and was met with the sound of little feet running down the hallway.

 

“Daddy!”

 

She giggled as she ran over with her arms up. Gerard scooped her up and laughed.

 

“We gotta go in for your check up.”

 

They had gone in every other month since she was a baby because she got sick so easily, so they kept an eye on her. Gerard was sure that she got that from Frank. He’d gotten sick pretty frequently.

 

“I don’t wanna.”

 

She shook her head stubbornly. Gerard couldn’t help but think she looked so much like Frank when she that. She looked mostly like Gerard, except for her size and her eyes. She had Frank’s eyes. She reminded him of Frank constantly and it hurt but he loved her. As her hair got longer it got a little bit wavy like it might have a bit of curl, it made him wonder what Frank’s hair would look like if it was long but he tried not to think about it.

 

“Why not?”

 

“Don’t like needles.”

 

She pouted.

 

“They hurt.”

 

Gerard frowned, he understood but he didn’t know where this was coming from.

 

“You aren’t going to get a needle. They never give you one.”

 

“Yes, they do.”

 

Gerard shook his head.

 

“No, they just look at you and measure you to make sure you’re healthy.”

 

River insisted and continued to pout until Gerard sighed.

 

“Do you want me to come in with you?”

 

She nodded and clung to him, smushing her face into his shoulder.

 

“Okay. Fine.”

 

He carried her out to the car. It was hard to believe she was five already. They’d moved his little apartment to a slightly bigger apartment closer to the school when she was three. It was like a generic, very grey and white flat that looked over the city, or what they could see of it from the eighth floor anyways. Gerard had never in his life pictured himself living in a place like this but here he was. Their lives were simple. He went to work, she went to school, and at the end of the day they ate dinner, watched the only television station available or read the books they were allowed to have, and then went to bed. At first, they’d allowed Gerard to have his art supplies but he found that when he ran out of things there was no more that he could buy and so eventually he just stopped. He could use pen or pencil, sure, but he liked colour too and it got boring to draw in black and white after a while.

 

He got her into her seat and got in the front. As he started it the one and only radio station turned on just in time for the traffic report.

 

_“Traffic is moving steady along the main streets and no sign of any troubles so far. The forecast is calling for rain later in the day, though, so all drivers are advised to be careful.”_

 

Gerard nodded as he turned at the lights.

 

_“In other news; Killjoy numbers have grown causing more security concerns and turmoil in the Zones. Most of these criminals are armed and dangerous. If you must travel through the Zones, don’t go alone and make sure someone knows where you’re going.”_

Gerard frowned. Killjoys. It was a name he’d been hearing for four years now. It was an ever-growing problem, seemingly with idiot teenagers who gave themselves code names and got their hands on some ray guns and other weapons. He knew from his job that extensive efforts were being made to fix the situation.

 

_“If you see a Killjoy, Better Living asks that you report it immediately. Now to Sarah for update.”_

 

Gerard turned the radio off and sighed heavily.

 

“Daddy, what’s a Killjoy?”

 

River piped up from the back seat. He looked at her in the rear-view mirror and frowned.

 

“People…who are doing bad things to nice people outside the city. That’s why we don’t leave.”

 

Gerard sighed as he pulled into the doctor’s office parking lot. River clung to him as they walked in and he talked to the woman at the front desk. She smiled sweetly and checked them in. Gerard led River over to sit in the waiting room. She crawled up in his lap and curled up as he hummed absent mindedly to her.

 

“River Way?”

 

A nurse called out and Gerard scooped her up to carry her over.

 

“She’s a little nervous today, would it be alright if I came in with her?”

 

The nurse frowned.

 

“I’m sorry, Mr. Way, the doctor would rather not have any distractions for her.”

 

River clung to Gerard harder and he sighed heavily.

 

“River, you’ll be fine. Please be a good girl.”

 

River whine as he set her down.

 

“But Daddy…”

 

“You’ll be ok. This nice nurse lady will take care of you.”

 

River shook her head but the nurse took her hand and led her away. Gerard frowned as he noticed that the look of fear in her eyes was so pure and genuine. She was really afraid of something they were doing to her. He grew concerned and his mind went into what he called “mom mode” as worried about her.

 

~~~~~

River wouldn’t talk to Gerard for a full four hours after they left the doctors office. That just didn’t sit right with him. That was a hell of an accomplishment for a five-year-old and it made him feel like something might actually be wrong. He knew there was when he got her ready for her bath before bed that night.

 

“River? Where did this bruise come from? Did something happen at school?”

 

Gerard ran his thumb over dark spot above the inside of her elbow.

 

“The needle.”

 

She pouted and winced as he touched it. It did look like the kind of bruise you get sometimes from an injection but they had no reason to do that to her and even less so if Gerard didn’t know about it or what it was that they were doing to her.

 

“What needle? They’re not supposed to give you anything without my permission.”

 

“I d-don’t know. It’s purple stuff and the needle is big.”

 

Gerard frowned deeply and his mind started to go into a bit of a frenzy. He’d never heard of any purple medications and he didn’t know what they were doing to her. It made no sense that they’d give her something like that, and especially that they hadn’t told him about it or said that she needed any kind of injections or medications.

 

“Well…do you feel funny when they give it to you?”

 

She shook her head but that didn’t alleviate any concern in Gerard’s mind. He was going to find out what was going on and that was that.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard furrowed his brows together at the message. Fun Ghoul was a Killjoy name. Why would they compare her to a Killjoy? He searched for “Fun Ghoul” in his older files to see if anything would come up that would explain it.

Gerard sat at his desk sifting through emails as usual. He didn’t really pay attention to most of them. It wasn’t his job to know what they were about. He just mindlessly sorted them based on subject. The emails went to random employees and he was sure that BL had no way of really controlling that but they didn’t need to because none of the employees knew the codes, they just wanted them sorted so that they could monitor what everyone was saying to everyone else. He was paying attention even less today because his mind was on his concern for River. He’d called the doctor but they gave him no information and simply denied giving her any kind of shot.

 

He just scrolled and sorted for hours and thought nothing of any of the emails. That is until he saw one that had a subject line that caught his eye.

 

_River Ghoul_

 

He frowned deeply and questioned it. It looked like some kind of horror movie monster name. It didn’t really give him any indication of how to sort it and when that happened he was allowed to open it. It was an email from the hospital to “HQLabs”. He hadn’t had any of these come across his list yet so this was new. He clicked it open and did his best to sort out what the code meant to see what it was. The code was a mix of nonsense and vague statements, not the most uncrackable code but no one ever cared about the boring emails enough to sit through what looked like lawyer jargon. Some of it was clear enough though. It repeatedly mentioned “R”. All he could make out was something about “checkups” and complaints, until he saw his own name. He backed up and read it again.

 

_R Ghoul_

_Check up - #30_

_System concerns are minimal. No illness incidents as of late. However, Experimental Compliance Treatment 18a is a clear failure as R expressed concern to Way, prompting him to request access to the appointment. R shows the same defiance as Fun Ghoul himself did during his stay with us. Way doesn’t seem overall suspicious but it may be time to move into a more passive method._

Gerard furrowed his brows together at the message. Fun Ghoul was a Killjoy name. Why would they compare her to a Killjoy? He searched for “Fun Ghoul” in his older files to see if anything would come up that would explain it. He opened the oldest one, this time from HQLabs to the hospital.

 

_F Ghoul_

_Fun Ghoul reports coming in from outer zones include alleged Kobra Kid sightings along with him. 8 SCARECROWS terminated after being deployed for apprehension. BC after 2 years is now at 40._

Gerard made a face. None of that made any sense to him so he moved on to the next one, which made his heart drop. It was one of the few High Security ones that had ever crossed his list. When he tried to open it, a password was demanded. He’d seen Cara enter a password for something like this before so he tried what she’d used and it actually worked. This one wasn’t coded, likely because of the password and the need for this to be as clear as possible for the recipient. It seemed like it’d been typed in a rush.

 

_Fun Ghoul_

_Apprehended at last. He is confirmed under the identity of Frank Anthony Iero. However, this information must be kept secret. Cara confirms that this is the father of River, the child we’ve been monitoring. ECT should begin on her immediately and Way should no longer be allowed to accompany her._

His heart skipped a beat. Not only had they found Frank but he was a Killjoy, and Cara knew about this. It explained why they had compared River to him. He was her father. They were comparing results between the two. He kept reading other emails, all were locked and all could be opened with Cara’s password. It turned out that Frank, now known as Fun Ghoul, had escaped after only a month of incarceration with help from other Killjoys referred to as Kobra Kid, Jet Star, and one that was unnamed. Gerard wasn’t sure what all of it meant but Frank was out there, and alive. Not only that but his instinct to not trust BL was more than likely right. Gerard couldn’t tell what this “ECT” but he dug deeper to find out and came across more emails about River. The idea seemed to be to chemically inhibit her ability to disobey. It made Gerard’s blood boil. They’d experimented on his baby girl and essentially tried to brainwash her. He fiddled with the engagement ring he still wore and then looked at it. He closed everything on his computer and went to tell his supervisor that he wasn’t feeling well. She advised him to go to a doctor and let him leave. He didn’t have much of a plan but he wasn’t going to let them hurt her. She was all he really had and it was his job to take care of her. Conformity be damned.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “But that’s the bad place…you said Killjoys were bad.”
> 
> “I was wrong about that. It’s ok. We’ll be alright.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, no one has been able to answer the question for the contest yet, though I've had some interesting guesses...so here is a hint: it has to do with a song that's been released within the last two years. Good Luck.

River got off the bus and ran to Gerard with her arms out to him. He scooped her up and carried her into the apartment.

 

“Daddy!”

 

“Hey you. Come one, I’ve got something to tell you.”

 

He’d already spent hours deciding what was important and what wasn’t. It wasn’t as if they had a lot and so he packed very little. Mainly just some clothes and everything he had left from before BL moved him into the city.

 

“What’s going on?”

 

“We’re going away for a while.”

 

“We are?”

 

“Yeah, let me see your bag so I can pack some of your things.”

 

“Are we going on an adventure?”

 

She asked excitedly and he smiled.

 

“Sort of.”

 

Gerard emptied her backpack and replaced it with clothes and essentials.

 

“We have to keep it a secret though.”

 

“Oh…ok.”

 

River didn’t seem to mind at all and that would make this easier to do. She let him put her backpack back on her before he grabbed his own bag and took her hand. He knew they weren’t coming back, and honestly, he was fine with that. He’d come here to protect her. That was no longer the case. Now they had to leave to protect her.

 

~~~~~

 

Getting out of the city didn’t prove to be as difficult as he thought it would be. Once they were out he headed south. BL had moved everything to the north and most everything else had been destroyed by bombs. From what Gerard had read the more desert based and barren the area was the less BL involvement there was beyond tracking down Killjoys, which is what Gerard was looking for. The only problem was getting past all the northern cities between them and the Wasteland, as people called it. The Zones was the vast empty space between cities filled with smaller abandoned towns and what used to be farmland and country side. Gerard was tense at the wheel and he refused to turn on the radio but the quiet was driving him insane.

 

“Daddy?”

 

“Yes, baby?”

 

“Can you tell me a story?”

 

He smiled, she loved hearing stories and usually only around bedtime but he was happy to fill the silence.

 

“What would you like to hear about today?”

 

“What were the cities like? And the Zones?”

 

Gerard smiled warmly and looked around them.

 

“Well the cities were different from each other, but they all had things in common. They were noisy and busy but usually colour full and of lights. Sometimes they smelled and they were pretty easy to get lost in.”

 

Gerard wished so much that he could have shown her these things.

 

“And the Zones used to be towns and farms. Beautiful forests and green places.”

 

“Why did it stop?”

 

“I don’t really know. Things changed. Some people thought it was a good change, others thought it was bad.”

 

River was quiet for a minute and then looked up at Gerard.

 

“What about Frankie and Gee?”

 

Gerard chuckled at the names. He told her about his old life in stories but told it in a way that it seemed like someone else. In a lot of ways, it was. She’d never met him as he really was. He felt like the last five years of his life, he’d been a mindless robot.

 

“What about them?”

 

“Where were they?”

 

“Well…they lived in a city close to ours, not far from us right now actually…but that city was abandoned. They travelled all over when they were younger. But you know about that.”

 

“Are they still there?”

 

“No.”

 

He shook his head.

 

“No, they both left when people were evacuated. I think New Jersey is completely empty now.” 

 

They were quiet for a while and River got bored. He didn’t mind her looking around the car. This was Frank’s old car that he’d actually gone to New Jersey to find. It wasn’t far from their city so it was easy and slipping out on foot was a little easier than driving out. No one had even questioned the car when he came back. He was shocked it even still ran. She looked in the console and pulled out a pile of CD cases.

 

“What are these?”

 

Gerard looked over and smiled.

 

“CDs. They have music on them.”

 

“Music?”

 

“Uh…like nice sounds. People singing.”

 

“Like you?”

 

“Yeah, like when I sing for you. Pick one and I’ll put it in for you.”

 

She looked at them for a while and then handed him one. He opened it one handed and put it in the player. He looked at the case and frowned at the familiar cover art for Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge.

 

“Why’d you pick this one?”

 

“I like the picture.”

 

Gerard smiled as the first song start to play. He turned it down a bit so the loud noise wouldn’t scare her.

 

“This music is loud and angry.”

 

She listened to Helena play rather intently and he just let her listen and drove quietly. The memories tied to it weighing heavily in his mind. She simply bounced lightly at the new sounds. He smiled and settled in for a few more hours of driving.

 

~~~~~

 

He pulled into a gas station and sighed. They had less than a quarter tank left and cities were becoming less frequent after almost three days of driving. He’d already filled up once. River waited patiently in the car while he pumped the gas. He went inside to pay and grabbed a few snacks. He didn’t see the cashier anywhere so he waited for a minute until he saw the poster behind the counter that listed him and River as missing. He backed away from the counter and looked around. No one was there. He knew some gas stations carried hair dye. He went over to where it should be and grabbed a random box. He knew he could change his appearance with the dye, he’d done it a dozen times before. He left money for the gas, snacks and dye on the counter and ran back out to the car. River was startled by how quickly he moved.

 

“What’s wrong, Daddy?”

 

“Nothing, River, just shush for a minute.”

 

Gerard started the car and pulled out of the gas station quickly. He felt a little better once they were on the road again but it meant that they couldn’t really stop anywhere else. River watched him quietly for a little while till he turned on the music again for her. They’d put in Welcome to the Black Parade at her request but had to turn it off to go to the gas station.

 

“Daddy?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Where are we going?”

 

Gerard looked at her and sighed.

 

“We’re going away from some bad people. Going to find an old friend of Daddy’s. If my hunch is right you might get to meet my brother too.”

 

 “You have a brother?”

 

“Yes, he’s younger than me. I haven’t seen or heard from him since before you were born. He’ll love you though. We were always close.”

 

“Why?”

 

Gerard looked at her and frowned, he knew she meant to ask why he wasn’t around but she was five. She was pretty good at talking for her age but there were some things she couldn’t quite get out.

 

“He…when everyone was moved into the city and everything changed…he was one of the people who didn’t like it. I should have listened to him then but I didn’t. He went down into the Wasteland with the Killjoys I think.”

 

River looked worried about that but Gerard just smiled.

 

“That’s where we’re going.”

 

“But that’s the bad place…you said Killjoys were bad.”

 

“I was wrong about that. It’s ok. We’ll be alright.”

 

Gerard drove further and further till civilization was behind them. It was quiet and empty the further south they got. River was looking around at the things around them. Gerard kept going until they found what used to be a town. It was void of any signs that anyone lived there so he pulled into a driveway of a house that looked like it was still in relatively good condition. He grabbed their snacks and the dye before taking River inside. The door wasn’t locked so he just pushed it open. It was dusty and looked like the people had left here had just left their lives behind. He sat River at the table in the kitchen and wiped it off before he gave her something to eat. She munched happily while he went over and tested the sink. It worked still, so he let it run for a minute till he was sure it was good to use. He looked at the box of dye and frowned. It was bright red. He hadn’t even looked when he’d grabbed it. He’d need bleach for his hair to do this. He sighed and looked around the house. There were pictures of a young couple and the woman had brightly dyed hair. He smiled and went upstairs hoping that she’d done it herself. He actually did find hair bleach in the bathroom upstairs. He brought it back down with some towels and makeup mirror. He set to work standing in the kitchen with his shirt off and River just watched him while she ate her snack.

 

“What are you doing, Daddy?”

 

He looked over at her as he worked the bleach into his hair.

 

“Changing the colour of my hair. It’s not much but the people we’re going away from are looking for us. If I look different it might make it easier to avoid being seen…though the red is kind of eye catching so I don’t know how well it’ll work.”

 

“You can change the colour of your hair?”

 

She looked so amazed by the idea and Gerard was sad that she lived in a world where she’d never had the chance to see that kind of thing.

 

“Yeah, people used to do it all the time. I used to colour my hair pretty often. It’s been a while though.”

 

He finished up and used the little timer sitting on top of the microwave to time how long he left the bleach in. He sat down while it was going to eat with River. She smiled when he sat down.

 

“Do you think Gee and Frankie are together wherever they went?”

 

“No…they were separated…Frankie…he didn’t agree with the change so he left Gee when Gee decided to move to the city.”

 

“He left him? Why would he do that? Didn’t he love Gee?”

 

“I’m…I’m sure he did, baby, but the changes were big and they scared a lot of people…”

 

“Why did Gee move to the city? If he knew Frankie didn’t want to?”

 

Gerard sighed and set down his food.

 

“Because he had something he needed to protect. He didn’t want anything to happen and it was a secret that he couldn’t share at the time.”

 

“Oh…do you think they’ll ever find each other again?”

 

“I hope so. It would be sad if they didn’t.”

 

Gerard sat there till the timer went off just thinking about what it would have been like if Frank had stayed…or if he had left with Frank when he wanted to. He got up and went over to the sink and washed the bleach out of his hair. He heard River gasp when she saw his hair and he laughed. He would need to let it dry before he could do the red so he figured he’d do that in the morning.

 

“Come on, you, bedtime. I’ll finish this in the morning.”

 

He took her to the living room and they curled up on the couch together, it didn’t take her long to fall asleep but Gerard was left awake with his memories. The sooner they reached Frank the better. The best guess he had was that Mikey, and possibly Ray as he’d been with Mikey already, would be with Frank wherever he was. He fiddled with his ring and thought about the night that Frank had given it to him. He wiped tears out of his eyes and closed them, willing himself to just go to sleep.

 

~~~~~

 

Gerard woke up and looked down to see River still asleep. He smiled and carefully wiggled out so he could stand up. He stretched and his back cracked, it felt good and he looked around for a minute before he remembered where they were. He wandered out to the kitchen and set to work on dying his hair red before River woke up. It was a lot easier to put the red onto the blond than it had been to bleach his dark brown hair. He set the timer and sat down. He could tell looking out the window that it was still very early in the morning. That was fine. He got up and grabbed a book off the shelf in the living room before going back to the kitchen and sitting to read it. He read quietly till the timer went off and then got up to wash out his hair. When he looked in the mirror he smiled. It actually looked good and he kind of liked it. He heard River get up and turned around just in time for her to walk in. She saw his hair and laughed as she ran over to hug him.

 

“What do you think?”

 

“Pretty, Daddy.”

 

Gerard laughed and kissed her forehead before putting his shirt back on.

 

“We’ll eat and then we’ll get going again. Alright?”

 

She nodded and went to sit at the table as he brought over her breakfast. It wasn’t much but it would do for now. They cleaned up and gathered their stuff before they loaded back into the car. She picked a different CD and Gerard smiled at the familiar sounds of Green Day. He sang along, much to River’s delight, and laughed as she tried to join in. They drover further south and things got less and less populated looking. It got warmer and the grass and trees turned into sand and ruins. This must be what the bombs had done down here. Though the south was kind of sandy to begin with in some places. Gerard could see something on the horizon but it was pretty far and the car was starting to make a sound he really didn’t like. He looked at the gas gage and his heart sank.

 

“Shit. No. No this isn’t good.”

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“We’re running out of gas. I don’t know where we’d even be able to get more down here.”

 

And with that the car stopped running. He sighed in frustration and pulled over to the side of the road. He sat there for a minute and looked at the shape he could see in the distance. He could only hope that there would be something there that could help. He looked at the car and unbuckled his seat belt. He gathered up any and all traced of Frank’s and his stuff and shoved it in his bag, including the CDs. Once the car was bare, he got out and got River to put her backpack on.

 

“I guess now we walk.”

 

River didn’t look too enthusiastic about it but she didn’t complain either. They walked for only an hour at a time before River would get tired and they had to stop. As the sun started to get lower Gerard carried her so they could walk for longer. As they got closer, he began to see that what he’d seen on the horizon was some kind of town, but not one that had been there before the war. It was strange and slapped together haphazardly. As they got closer, he saw people and he’d never been so happy to see another human being in his life. It took a while to actually get there but when they did River looked around curiously. The people stopped and stared at Gerard. One older woman smiled at him from the porch of her little hut that looked like it was built by hand from whatever she could find.

 

“Well, we don’t get a lot of strangers in town. You guys look like you’d just freshly escaped that northern hell. Come on in, dears.”

 

She motioned for them to come into her home and she disappeared inside. Gerard hesitated but he went anyways. The inside of the hut was cozy and very small. She had an old oil drum with plywood on top as a table and some milk crates with homemade cushions as the chairs. She set down two steaming bowls of some kind of soup.

 

“So, darlings, what are your names and what brings you to Riverside?”

 

“I’m…Arthur and this is my daughter River. We’re looking for someone but we don’t know where they are.”

 

He used his middle name because he’d actually never told River what his name was and Gerard sounded close to Gee. He didn’t want her to pick up on that. The old woman seemed to know he was lying.

 

“Well, you’ll pick up a Killjoy name soon enough I’m sure. Where are you coming from?”

 

She asked as she motioned for them to sit down.

 

“One of the cities, they don’t really have names anymore but I think we were close to the BL Headquarters.”

 

“What made you up and leave the so-called civilized life?”

 

She looked at him suspiciously.

 

“Didn’t really appreciate them going behind my back and experimenting on my daughter. The only reason I stayed there in the first place was to keep her safe.”

 

The woman frowned at him but looked understanding.

 

“Experimenting?”

 

He watched River start to eat the soup and she smiled so he figured it must be alright.

 

“I don’t know exactly what was going on but the file I saw called it Experimental Compliance Treatment eighteen A. Which sounds like some kind of brainwashing.”

 

“They’re onto eighteen already are they then? Figures. Should have known they’d ramp up their efforts after nine didn’t work on Ghoul. He’s a stubborn bastard though, they did quite a number on him while he was in there.”

 

Gerard froze and looked at her.

 

“You know Fun Ghoul?”

 

She smiled and nodded.

 

“Yeah, years back he came through here with three other men, by then they’d already gained their reputation. They stuck around for a while and cleared up our SCARECROW problem. Then they moved on. Sometimes they come through to trade with us.”

 

“What exactly is a SCARECROW?”

 

“Disgusting men in masks that come out here and try to kill anyone who resists going to the city and conforming to their robotic version of life. The Killjoy boys have no sympathy for them and we have been grateful to them for coming here.”

 

Gerard looked at the bowl in front of him and hazarded a bite. It was just a stew, they probably had a garden around here somewhere for the potatoes and carrots. It was good though. His mind reeled for a minute. So, Frank had three men with him. He could hazard a guess at who they were.

 

“Do you know where they would be? Fun Ghoul and his guys?”

 

She raised an eyebrow at him.

 

“I do but I don’t trust just anyone with that information, BLind has been after them for years. While I do believe that you ran away from them, they’re likely looking for you too. I won’t have that fall on those boys. How do you know Fun Ghoul?”

 

Gerard looked at River and then back at the woman.

 

“I knew him before he was a Killjoy.”

 

He hid his hand from River, beside the bowl but showed to woman his ring. She looked at him wide eyed and then at River.

 

“Kobra Kid mentioned you once. Fun Ghoul looked angry at the mention of your name and he walked out but Kobra said you were snapped up by BLind. None of them understood why…but you…did it for her…you were pregnant at the time then?”

 

Gerard nodded and she looked shocked.

 

“I’d appreciate if that bit of information didn’t get out though, I don’t want Fun Ghoul to find out like that…I’ll tell him when I figure out how to.”

 

She nodded in understanding.

 

“My lips are sealed sweetheart. You two are welcome to stay in town until the boys come back if you like. They visit every other month or so though.”

 

Gerard smiled at her.

 

“Thank you, that would actually help a lot.”

 

“I think Screamer has some extra tents and such hidden away for when we get visitors. He’s just down the street. I can go ask him while you two eat your dinner. We’ll get you settled in…and find some better clothes for you because those are just awful.”

 

Gerard chuckled as she left and looked at River. They ate quietly until the woman came back with a burly looking man in tow, who was carrying a tent and some sleeping bags and pillows. The woman had a box in her arms.

 

“Here, this is Cactus Screamer…don’t ask about the name, you do not wanna know. He’s got a tent and some stuff for you he’s gonna set up just outside beside my hut. I’ve got a box of clothes. I know you two probably don’t have much to trade for them so I’ll take the clothes you have right now. We can make things out of the material.”

 

Gerard nodded, that sounded fair.

 

“Pick out a couple of things.”

 

She set the box on the table and went out to help Screamer set up the tent. He looked in the box and found some jeans that looked like his size. One pair was black and the other were such a faded blue that they looked almost white. He found a couple of tank tops and picked those out. They were just plain but they looked comfy. He pulled out the clothes that looked like they were kids’ clothes. River looked at them in confusion but he prompted her to pick some. She did and he smiled at her choices. Colourful leggings and some big looking band shirts. She seemed pleased about it so he didn’t argue. The woman came back in as they both finished getting changed and smiled. Gerard put their spare clothes in their bags and pulled out all of the grey and white stuff they’d brought. He set it on the table for the woman. She handed him a pair of sturdy looking boots and some smaller shoes for River.

 

“There you go. My name is Patty, by the way. No need for a Killjoy name for me. Everyone just calls me Old Patty.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We’ll get you to your man, you’ve been here quite a while now and I know that’s not what you intended.” 
> 
> “I don’t mind so much, I kind of like it here.”

Gerard helped Screamer fix things around town, he wasn’t good at it but that seemed to be fine. They’d been there for a few months and he learned that their currency was just trade. Today he was fixing the side of a little shop. It’d been put up very weakly and had fallen over in the night. The shop sold clothes and such things. Screamer was off tending to something else at the moment so River was standing with Gerard handing him nails when he asked and talking to him about what Patty had taught her.

 

“She showed me how the potatoes grow and how they gather them.”

 

“That sounds really cool. Did you help you?”

 

“Yeah, she gave me five whole potatoes for helping.”

 

“Oh, we can have those for dinner tonight if you want.”

 

River clapped excitedly and handed him another nail. Once he was sure the wall was secure, he stepped back and looked at it. He winced as the burn on his shoulders touched his shirt. He’d had to tear the sleeves off his shirts as they were too tight. It gave him some rags for cleaning and more mobility but it meant that his shoulders were very much exposed to the sun for hours and he was a very pale man so he was constantly burnt. Last week the woman that worked with the water filters had given River a jacket that protected her, apparently one that her own daughter had outgrown. River had helped her carry her food home apparently and earned the jacket. He was glad she had it. He went into the store to tell the owner that he was done. The man smiled at him happily and nodded.

 

“Thank you, that could’ve been very bad. You can pick out something as payment for the work.”

 

Gerard smiled and looked around. He thought for a minute and then furrowed his brows.

 

“You don’t have any jackets, do you? My shoulders keep getting burned and it sucks.”

 

“Oh, yeah. I’ve got them back here. Hold on.”

 

The man dug out a pile of like five jackets. They were all leather which wasn’t great in the heat but he’d take it if it meant the sun wouldn’t be burning him. The bright blue one caught his eye and he pulled it out of the pile. It had red and white on it and a big stitching pattern on the back of a skull and cross bones, except the skull was a pill instead. He laughed and shook his head. It was perfect.

 

“I’ll take this one.”

 

The shop owner nodded and put the others away.

 

“Try it on.”

 

Gerard slipped it on and it fit perfectly. He’d lost weight in the months they’d been here. It was easy to trade for food but he never got much and he had to feed himself and River. On top of the fact that all the work was very physical it had shaved him down a fair bit. This jacket never would have fit before but it did now and he felt a strange sense of pride in that.

 

“You look like a true Killjoy. You need a name, kid.”

 

“I don’t really know how you pick one…”

 

The man chuckled.

 

“Most people pick something that would sound intimidating. Others earn their name by doing stupid shit. You can get creative with it, as long as it says something about you.”

 

Gerard frowned and looked at the floor.

 

“I…don’t really know…”

 

“Got any vices?”

 

Gerard looked at him in confusion.

 

“Like smoking, shit like that.”

 

“Oh…yeah, I used to smoke, haven’t had one in forever but the craving is still there. I…when I was younger, I got heavy into drugs and alcohol but I’ve been clean since way before the world went to shit.”

 

“Bit of a party boy then. How about…Party Poison? Matches the symbol on your jacket.”

 

Gerard smiled and nodded.

 

“That’s better than anything I can come up with. I like it.”

 

“Well, Party, you’re officially one of us.”

 

The guy reached under the counter and tossed something at Gerard. It was a pack of smokes. Gerard laughed and looked at the guy.

 

“I’ve got another pack at home. You can have that one as a celebration of your new name.”

 

Gerard nodded and thanked him before heading out to gather up the tools. He shoved the smokes in his jacket pocket before River saw them. He’d explain that to her later. They gathered up and went back to their tent. River brought her potatoes out and showed them to him proudly. They weren’t very big but they would do. He pulled out the pan they had and set to work cutting them up, cleaning them and frying them with the chunks of cured meat he’d gotten earlier in the day for helping fix a livestock fence. They ate quietly and Patty came out with some sweet cakes she made to share with them. Gerard smiled at her as she and Screamer sat down with them. It was nice to have the company and they were good friends. The community wasn’t huge but it was big enough and everyone helped everyone else out. He liked it here and he was happy that River could experience this kind of community.

 

“I heard on the radio today that Ghoul and the boys won’t be heading this way anytime in the next couple months. Apparently, something is going down near them. SCARECROWS seem to be looking for something.”

 

Gerard looked up at Screamer as he said it. He’d become familiar with the fact that the Killjoys had their own radio station that BLind couldn’t tap into. It was run by a man called Dr. Death Defy and his partner Showpony. They gave updates on everything going on in the resistance and kept tabs on all the top Killjoys. It’d let Gerard learn that Frank’s group consisted of Fun Ghoul, Kobra Kid, and Jet Star but there was mention of another that just didn’t have a name. He’d hoped that they’d come up here soon but this news was unsettling for a few reasons. BLind knew who River was, they knew about Gerard’s ties to Frank. There was a good chance that what they were looking for was him and River, and that they knew he was heading for Frank.

 

“It’s us…they’re looking for me and River…”

 

“It’s high time you pick a Killjoy name then, so we can blast that on the airwaves, maybe that’ll bring Ghoul up here to come get you and the kid.”

 

“I did get one today, actually.”

 

“Oh?”

 

Patty perked up and looked at him.

 

“Party Poison, guy at the shop helped me out with it.”

 

“I like it. Screamer, you go send word to the Doctor. Tell him that Party is looking for Ghoul in Riverside, that he knows what them damn SCARECROWS want.”

 

Screamer nodded and got up to do just that. Patty smiled.

 

“We’ll get you to your man, you’ve been here quite a while now and I know that’s not what you intended.”

 

“I don’t mind so much, I kind of like it here.”

 

“And we love having you both here, but you came here to get help finding Ghoul and that’s what we promised you. If I thought it was safe, I’d send you down to Haven to find them at the Diner but it’s not, especially if BLind is looking hard enough for you to risk pissing off that group. People in Haven and the area around it shoot SCARECROWS on sight with no questions asked.”

 

“Haven?”

 

“It’s like this place but much bigger and built into what I think used to be Austin, Texas. I’ve only been there once and it’s something to see. Battery City is bigger but that’s out towards what used to be LA. Haven is where Ghoul and them stay most of the time though. Or rather, outside of it.”

 

Gerard nodded and sighed. He looked at River. That would be a hell of a trek and he didn’t know that he wanted to put her through that. Even if it was to find Frank and Mikey and Ray.

 

“How long will it take for word to reach them?”

 

“Couple days at the most. As soon as it gets to the radio station, they’ll hear it. He’ll make sure they do.”

 

Gerard nodded and watched their little fire as Patty stood up to go back in her hut. Gerard looked over at River as she yawned and he smiled.

 

“Bedtime, sweetheart.”

 

He shooed her into the tent and put out their fire.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Party Poison, eh?”
> 
> “Yeah, the shop keeper in town picked it for me. What about Fun Ghoul?”
> 
> “I picked it a long time ago. I just like it and it works. Whatever. How long you been here?”

Gerard woke up to commotion outside a week later and he groggily poked his head out to see people gathering. He heard the sound of an old muscle car and wondered where on earth anyone found gas to run it. He grumbled as he got up and saw people gathered in the middle of the town.

 

“Alright, the Doctor tells us that someone here knows what those assholes want. Where the hell is this _Party Poison_ that’s been looking for me because I’m gonna need an explanation right now before I knock his lights out for bringing me up here.”

 

Gerard’s heart stopped as he recognized Frank’s voice. He sounded pissed off. Gerard put on his jacket and stepped up to the back of the crowd.

 

“Well? Where is he? I didn’t come up here under the risk of being caught by BLind just to be stood up.”

 

Screamer stood beside Gerard and grinned. Gerard looked up to see Screamer’s hand pointing down at Gerard. He couldn’t actually see Frank over everyone else’s heads but he could hear the crowd and saw them parting in front of him. The next thing he knew there was a gun under his chin, and then he felt the gun falter for a second before it pushed into his chin more.

 

“Well I think we best find some place to talk.”

 

Gerard looked down and it took everything in him not to kiss Frank right then and there. But something stopped him. It was definitely Frank but he looked rougher and older. He had more tattoos poking out under his clothes and a large scar on his face running from the corner of his mouth, almost all the way back to his ear. His hair was long too. He looked so different to Gerard, but it was still his Frank under there somewhere.

 

“I guess we should.”

 

Gerard said and Screamer motioned towards Patty’s hut. She nodded from the porch and went over to Gerard’s tent, bringing River out and taking her away from the tent and the hut. Frank and Gerard got into the hut and the door slammed behind them.

 

“Party Poison, eh?”

 

“Yeah, the shop keeper in town picked it for me. What about Fun Ghoul?”

 

“I picked it a long time ago. I just like it and it works. Whatever. How long you been here?”

 

“It’s been about five months now. Patty said you came through here every couple months, so we were just waiting. Then we heard that you weren’t coming so Patty had Screamer put out the call.”

 

Frank glared at him and he’d never felt so genuinely afraid of Frank.

 

“Five months. When did you leave the city?”

 

“About a month before we got here. It’s been a hell of a ride Fr-.”

 

“Shut up. Don’t say that name. We use Killjoy names for a reason.”

 

“Sorry, habit.”

 

“A habit you should’ve broke out of years ago when you decided to ditch me.”

 

“Ghoul…”

 

The name felt strange to Gerard now that he was actually talking to Frank.

 

“That’s not what happened. I left you a note but you never got it. I wanted you to come with me.”

 

“You knew damn well I wouldn’t. And I didn’t see a note besides the one on the door.”

 

“I put it beside our rings on the dresser…”

 

“Well it wasn’t there and neither were you. Now why are the SCARECROWS coming after me so aggressively again?”

 

Frank looked so cold and hostile towards Gerard that it hurt. He had never been on this side of Frank’s anger, not like this. Frank genuinely thought that Gerard left him.

 

“They’re looking for me. They know…”

 

“They know we were together before. So, you ran away then. Why? Didn’t like your cushy robotic hivemind life anymore?”

 

Gerard’s eyes stung and before he realized what he was doing he slapped Frank across the face with such a force that it actually stunned the man and made him stumble backwards.

 

“I didn’t want to go to that place anymore than you did but I didn’t think I had a choice at the time. I left because they were hurting the only thing that I had left in my life that was worth anything to me. I hated that life but I put up with it because I had to.”

 

Frank looked both appalled and furious but Gerard could see that the tears in his eyes and the tone of his voice made him hesitate. Frank just looked at him in confusion for a minute before the door of the hut opened and River came tearing it with Patty chasing after her.

 

“Daddy! Are you ok?”

 

Gerard fell to his knees to hug her tightly.

 

“I’m sorry, Party, she heard someone get slapped and was worried that Ghoul had hit you.”

 

Gerard nodded and waved Patty’s apologies away. His full attention was on his daughter.

 

“It’s ok, baby girl, I’m ok. He didn’t hit me. Don’t worry.”

 

Gerard glanced up at Frank and saw a look of disgust directed at River. He wanted to hide her away from him just based on that look but he couldn’t. River looked up at Frank, with frightened eyes, and for a second Gerard thought he saw Frank soften but it didn’t last.

 

“Who is this?”

 

“This is River.”

 

“How old is she?”

 

“Almost six now.”

 

Frank’s eyes went from River to Gerard.

 

“You move on fast for someone who supposedly wanted me to come with him.”

 

Frank scoffed and moved towards the door.

 

“Gather your shit and get to the car. If SCARECROWS are going to come after me because of you then you can come with us and deal with it instead of cowering here.”

 

He said and then left. Gerard looked down at River for a minute and sighed. Frank thought she was someone else’s. Patty rested her hand on his shoulder.

 

“Time for you to pack up and leave us, I’m sure I’ll see you again though.”

 

She smiled and shooed River out the door as Gerard stood up. Patty looked back at him and sighed.

 

“It’ll take time. Let him get to know her, let him see that you’re still you. He’ll come around. Ghoul has been through a lot and he’s not the man you remember. Not entirely anyways.”

 

Gerard nodded and followed her out to pack up his and River’s stuff. Once they had everything they went over to the car and Gerard saw something that made his heart soar. His little brother, standing there in a red leather jacket, smiling at him. He ran over to him and hugged Mikey tight, and he hugged him back. He heard Patty laugh and looked back at her but she shook her head.

 

“Well, stay safe you two. Don’t let these boys scare you. And Arthur, you take good care of that little girl of yours.”

 

Patty winked and grinned at him. He rolled his eyes but nodded and helped River into the car. It was just Mikey and Frank here. He wondered where Ray was but he was sure he’d find out.

 

“Arthur?”

 

Mikey raised an eyebrow. Frank rolled his eyes and climbed into the driver’s seat.

 

“An alias, both so that BLind might have a harder time finding us and because…River doesn’t know my name and for reasons I don’t want to discuss right now I’d like it to remain that way.”

 

Mikey nodded and looked at her.

 

“She yours?”

 

Gerard nodded and the grinned that spread across Mikey’s face made Gerard so happy. Mikey climbed into the backseat beside her without opening the car door.

 

“Hello, little one, I’m your Uncle Kobra. I’m your dad’s brother. Sorry I haven’t got to meet you before now. The world is a bit of a crazy place.”

 

River giggled as he hugged her and snuggled into him. Gerard reluctantly climbed into the passenger seat and looked at Ghoul, who just ignored him and started the car, turning on the radio and cranking it up, and pulling out of the little settlement. He drove fast and Gerard smiled as he listened to River laugh in the backseat.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “G-“
> 
> Gerard shushed him and shook his head but hugged him.
> 
> “Don’t call me that. River doesn’t know that name and I wanna keep it that way.”
> 
> He whispered just loud enough for Ray and Bob, who was close behind him, to hear. They both nodded but looked confused.
> 
> “Who is River?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still no winner on the contest. I'm honestly surprised. I definitely thought someone would have gotten it by now.

Patty had been right about Haven. After two days of driving they’d reached it and Gerard was left in awe of what the Killjoys had created. Frank was still not talking to Gerard and he flat out ignored River’s existence. Mikey loved her as Gerard had thought he would though and it brought him a lot of joy to see Mikey playing with her and laughing with her. They stopped in Haven and Gerard looked at Frank in confusion.

 

“I have to pick something up from a buddy. Sit here, shut up, and don’t leave the car.”

 

Frank said before he and Mikey climbed out and headed inside the building they’d parked beside. Gerard turned around and looked at River, who was sitting quietly playing with a toy that Mikey had given her. He recognized it as the action figure he’d saved up and gotten Mikey for Christmas when he was ten. He smiled and watched her for a while. It wasn’t long before the others came back and Gerard let out an oof as Frank tossed something heavy in his lap.

 

“Put that on the floor by your feet, I’m not putting that in the back with a kid.”

 

“What the hell is it?”

 

“Ammo.”

 

Frank said before they pulled out and Gerard looked at the bag, shoving it down on the floor away from himself a little. He noticed the ray gun in the holster and was grateful for him not putting the bag in the backseat with River. They drove for about two hours before they arrived at a run-down looking diner, with Ray and Bob standing outside working on something he couldn’t quite make out. He smiled at the sight of them and they smiled back as they looked up. Ray ran over as they got out.

 

“G-“

 

Gerard shushed him and shook his head but hugged him.

 

“Don’t call me that. River doesn’t know that name and I wanna keep it that way.”

 

He whispered just loud enough for Ray and Bob, who was close behind him, to hear. They both nodded but looked confused.

 

“Who is River?”

 

Ray asked but he didn’t seem to need an answer when he saw Mikey carrying her. He looked at Gerard and then at her.

 

“Is…this your kid? When the hell did you have a kid?”

 

“Almost six years ago now. A lot has changed, Ray.”

 

Ray smiled and nodded.

 

“It’s Jet Star now. I’m guessing that you’re Party Poison then?”

 

Gerard nodded and watched as Mikey set River down and she ran over to him. Ray crouched down to see her better.

 

“Hello, River, I’m Jet. An old friend of your dad’s.”

 

River smiled and reached for him to hug him. Ray chuckled and scooped her up into a tight hug.

 

“Party, last I heard from Ghoul and Kobra you’d ditched us and went to live in the BLind cities. What are you doing out here now?”

 

“They were experimenting on her behind my back and I didn’t appreciate it. She was the only reason I was there.”

 

Gerard hoped that Frank would hear that but he looked around to see he was already gone inside.

 

“Experimenting?”

 

“Yeah, some kind of Experimental Compliance thing.”

 

“That’s the same shit they did to Ghoul when they had him. They’re testing it on kids now?”

 

Mikey looked concerned and angry.

 

“Yeah, I don’t know how many other kids they were doing it to but I was working in communications. All I did was sort emails and one day I found one that said something about River, I could only make out certain parts of the code but it was clear enough to me what was going on.”

 

Ray looked at River and then at Gerard.

 

“Is she…ok? Like it didn’t work, did it?”

 

“No, that’s what the email was. They were having trouble finding anything that would work. She’s too stubborn for their nonsense.”

 

Mikey smiled and looked at River. She reached out a hand to him and he kissed her cheek gently.

 

“Well, River, you’re safe now. And you have a whole family to protect you.”

 

River smiled happily and reached out for Mikey to hold her. He scooped her out of Ray’s arms, making the other man pout a little. Bob just laughed and shook his head at the whole thing.

 

“Let’s get inside before any SCARECROWS decide to make a target out of us again.”

 

The other’s nodded and followed Bob inside.

 

“So, is that what they’re after then? You and River.”

 

Gerard nodded as Ray looked at him and frowned. Ray looked at River and grumbled.

 

“Over my dead body will they hurt this sweet kid. It’s not happening.”

 

~~~~~

 

Gerard found that they’d pretty much gutted the diner and turned it into a home. They had electricity and running water much to Gerard’s relief. The kitchen didn’t look like it was used too often for anything serious but it was nice to have an actual kitchen again. They set Gerard and River up in the booth in the corner that’d been turned into a bed. Gerard protested because it was Mikey’s but he said he was happy to share with Bob as he usually did anyways. Gerard was actually happy to know they were back together. Frank continued to ignore and avoid Gerard by going out on frequent raids with Ray.

 

The other’s all loved River and spent a lot of time with her, having missed so much time with her already. Mikey and Bob would frequently scoop her and show her comic books and stuff that they’d collected. Gerard was happy to see her playing and having fun in a somewhat normal way.

 

They were there for about a month before Mikey sat down beside Gerard while Bob was playing with River.

 

“So, you met someone after you left then?”

 

Gerard looked at him and frowned.

 

“No. River was the reason I left.”

 

Mikey looked at him in confusion.

 

“You were already…she’s…you have to tell him.”

 

“I can’t. He already hates me.”

 

Gerard looked at his feet and he felt Mikey lean on his shoulder.

 

“He doesn’t hate you. He’s angry and hurt that you left. He loves you, Gee. He’d wanted to marry you. You have to tell him that River is his.”

 

“How? How do I tell him that I left to raise his daughter in the BLind cities because I was afraid that having her out here was too dangerous, only to bring her out here anyways? Mikey, I can’t just drop that on him or he will hate me if he doesn’t already.”

 

Mikey sighed and looked at River and Bob.

 

“Little steps then. He knows what they did to her. He’s furious that they’re doing that to kids now. After what he went through in there…just talk to him. Ok?”

 

Gerard nodded but he knew he wouldn’t. He really couldn’t. The idea of that conversation in his head was more painful than anything he could imagine. He’d already lost Frank, he didn’t want to lose him again. River laughed loudly at the game Bob was teaching her and Bob just groaned with his face in his hands.

 

“Did she just kick your ass at a game she’s never played before?”

 

Mikey chuckled and then laughed harder at the humiliated face Bob gave him.

 

“This kid is gonna be the death of me, I swear.”

 

Bob shook his head and set up the game again. River giggled and hugged Bob.

 

“I’m sorry, Bob.”

 

“Nah, it’s alright. You’re good at this. That means you’re smart. That’s a good thing.”

 

Bob cuddled her close and showed her how to set it back up. They started playing again as Frank came tearing in. Gerard gave Mikey a stern look to keep his mouth shut and Mikey gave him the shrug of ‘that’s your problem, not mine’. They’d always been good at communicating without saying anything and it drove the rest of the guys nuts. Ray came in after him and looked exhausted.

 

“Mikey, I need you to come back out with me. There’s some shit going on in Haven and you’re better at dealing with this shit than Frank.”

 

Mikey nodded and got up to grab his stuff. Bob set down River and went with them, leaving Gerard with Frank and River. Mikey gave him a meaningful look on the way out the door and Gerard sighed. Frank started cleaning his gun and trying to get the dust off his face. He growled when he couldn’t get his gun holster off and Gerard just shook his head. He moved over and started unbuckling it before Frank could protest. Frank glared at him but allowed it. He got it off of him and set it on the counter. Frank turned away and went back to what he was doing.

 

“Ghoul…can you please stop hating me for five minutes so I can talk to you?”

 

“I don’t have time to listen to bullshit.”

 

Frank said before disappearing into the back room. Gerard looked at River, who was happily playing with the game piece before he followed Frank into the backroom.

 

“Look, whatever you have against me, take it out on me but stop making River feel like shit for something that’s not her fault.”

 

Frank turned and looked at him.

 

“Whatever I have against you? What I have against you is that I proposed to you and you said yes. To me that meant we were in it together. And then when the world went to shit you argued with me to point of it not even making any sense.”

 

Frank got in his face and backed him against a wall.

 

“When have you ever been one to preach conformity? That’s what went through my head. And then you just up and leave while I’m at work one day and then next time I see you, you’re toting around some bastard kid that you had. You expect me to ever be okay with that?”

 

Gerard stood there in blank shock for a minute.

 

“I didn’t up and leave you. If you’d read the letter that was sent to the apartment by BLind then you’d know that that was our relocation day, and you would have known that they’d come for me. I was alone and scared and I couldn’t imagine a life in the waste land that ended in any way other than us getting killed. I didn’t know what to do, Frank, and I will not have you stand here and shove that in my face. I left that note, I know I did because I still have it. Cara gave it back to me when they went over the next morning to get you and you weren’t fucking there. Where were you?”

 

Gerard could feel the tears in his eyes but he refused to let Frank have the satisfaction of hurting him like that.

 

“I came back that night to look for you, with Mikey. You weren’t there and I took the rings, there was no note there. All I knew was you were gone. You chose that bullshit life over me.”

 

“I didn’t choose shit. I did what I thought was best because it wasn’t just me that I was trying to protect.”

 

Gerard pushed past him and went outside where River wouldn’t see him crying. He huddled himself up against the side of the building and rested his face hidden in his arms on top of his knees. He should just tell Frank, he knew that, but it hurt. It hurt to know that Frank thought so little of him. It hurt that he’d believe that he’d left him. He didn’t understand how Frank could have taken the rings but not seen the note that he’d set right on top of them. He didn’t understand and it was killing him inside.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Really! Where is Gee? You didn’t go find him?”
> 
> “No…he left and I thought about it but he’s probably forgotten me by now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So still no one has gotten the contest. At this point I will just take the song title and artist(s) and if you think you know why I picked it based on the lyrics then that's just bonus points.  
> Clue #2  
> "All my sins need holy water"
> 
> that is your clue. Do with that what you will.
> 
> Edit: The contest has been won!

Frank shifted in his seat. They knew the SCARECROWS were coming through here. He and Mikey had decided to stake it out and ambush them before they could get to Haven. Mikey was being unusually silent tonight though.

 

“Alright, dude, what the hell? Usually you’ll chat up a storm when we go out on a mission to catch these bastards and today you haven’t said shit to me other than ‘yeah’ when I asked if you were coming with me.”

 

Mikey looked over at him.

 

“I don’t know, _Frank_ , why did I find my brother outside curled up in a ball crying last week?”

 

Frank rolled his eyes and looked straight ahead.

 

“Because obviously he’s a weak-willed, brainwashed little bitch.”

 

Frank didn’t even have time to register that Mikey was moving before his fist met Frank’s jaw.

 

“Don’t you ever say shit like that about my brother again, you don’t know shit about what he’s been through. And if you want to continue to treat him and my niece like shit that you don’t understand, I will happily beat your ass.”

 

Frank glared at him but didn’t push it because he knew Mikey would do it.

 

“All he gave me was some bullshit about not having a choice to go there and he supposedly left me a note, and something about it wasn’t just him he was trying to protect. I don’t know, I don’t fucking care. He left me. End of story.”

 

“No…he didn’t. He thinks you hate him and that hurts him so much. You know he’s still wearing the engagement ring you gave him, right? Something like that chain around your neck with two rings on it.”

 

Frank looked at him in disbelief. He hadn’t noticed that Gerard was still wearing it and he didn’t like that Mikey brought up him wearing the rings on a chain.

 

“That doesn’t mean anything. He obviously found someone else not long after he left and clearly, he liked them enough to fuck them. The ring doesn’t mean anything even if it is the one that I gave him.”

 

Mikey shook his head and sighed.

 

“It is. I remember the day he proudly showed me that fucking ring and told me about your cheesy over the top proposal because you’re a goddamn nerd. It’s the same ring, and he still wears it. Of course, that means something. Just like I know you don’t hate him as much as you’re pretending to. You’re just angry. You need to get over it and actually talk to him without getting in his face and screaming at him about something you don’t understand.”

 

Frank looked over at him and furrowed his brows together.

 

“And you think you understand?”

 

“Actually, I do. Because he’s my brother and I love him and I sat down and talked to him. He told me what actually happened.”

 

“Which was?”

 

“Not my business to tell you, I promised Gee that I would mind my own business and stay out of it.”

 

“Well you’ve already failed at that.”

 

Mikey glanced sideways at him and shook his head.

 

“I’m not gonna crack, Iero, if you wanna know then you can talk to your fiancé about it.”

 

Frank made a face but sunk back into his seat. He could see the SCARECROW vehicle coming over the hill and he grinned.

 

“Ready to fuck up their day?”

 

Mikey grinned back at him and pulled out his gun.

 

~~~~~

 

Frank looked at Gerard, curled up with the kid tucked against him under their blanket. He shook his head and started to go over to his own bed when he walked right into Mikey, who was glaring at him. Frank grumbled. Mikey went over and gently picked River up out of her father’s grasp and carried her over to cuddle between him and Bob. He heard Bob wake up and readjust to fit her with them. Frank sighed heavily and went over to Gerard’s bed. He kicked off his boots and ditched his jacket and gun holster unceremoniously beside the bed. He hesitated before climbing in and he saw the ring on Gerard’s hand. It made his heart skip a beat but he shook it off, he refused to have hope that it meant anything until the words were coming out of Gerard’s mouth. He climbed in beside him and froze when Gerard grumbled and cuddled into him like it was nothing. He put an arm around Gerard and sighed as he settled in to try and sleep.

 

His mind wouldn’t let him though, and it wandered away. He couldn’t imagine having Gerard back in his life like that. It was a strange idea after so long. He thought about River for a while. She was a sweet kid, bright for her age. But she was someone else’s daughter. He knew he couldn’t have Gerard without her and he wasn’t sure he was ready to step in as this poor kid’s stepdad. It made it overly complicated and he didn’t want to think about it. He looked at Gerard before he growled and climbed out of the bed and grabbed all his stuff before heading over to his own bed. He could feel Mikey glaring at him but he ignored it and climbed into bed to pass out for the night.

 

~~~~~

 

Frank woke up to something pushing down on his chest and he groaned, opening his eyes to see that River had jumped on him and Mikey standing close behind her as the instigator of this wake-up call.

 

“Rise and shine, grumpy pants, time for breakfast. River helped me make potato pancakes.”

 

Mikey grinned and motioned for River to come with him over to the two booths they’d left intact to sit at. Frank groaned again as she crawled off of him. The kid was light but it still sucked to have a whole kid on your chest. He sat up and crawled out of bed, shuffling his feet and plopping down in a seat. He looked beside him to see…Gerard. He groaned again and rested his head on the table until Mikey set coffee in front of his face. Frank perked up a little and sipped at it happily. Mikey set food on the table in front of each of them and sat down across from Frank to eat. They ate quietly for the most part, except River talking to Gerard. She asked him something and Frank tuned it out.

 

“Not right now.”

 

“But Daddy…”

 

She whined at him and Frank looked up from his food. He’d never heard this kid whine since they’d gotten here. Gerard looked uncomfortable and pushed his food around.

 

“I said not right now, River.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I know which stories you want and I am not really in the mood to explain that to Kobra and Ghoul. Especially since you ditched me last night, you traitor.”

 

Frank tried not to laugh.

 

“Actually, I believe she was stolen by her Uncle and had no say in the matter.”

 

Frank mumbled and went back to eating.

 

“What stories, Party?”

 

Mikey tilted his head.

 

“About Frankie and Gee. They were people that Daddy knew before the changes. Did you know them?”

 

Frank choked on his food and looked at Gerard.

 

“So that’s why you don’t want her to know your name…”

 

Mikey chuckled and Gerard looked like he wanted to smack him. Mikey turned to River and grinned.

 

“Well, of course I knew Gee and Frankie, they were my best friends. Kind of idiots but still.”

 

River looked pleased as a peach that Mikey knew them. Frank kicked him under the table and shook his head but Mikey ignore him.

 

“I remember one time, they went to this pizza place downtown in like…I think it was San Francisco, but the place only had broccoli pizza. Frankie actually bought some and Gerard wouldn’t talk to him for like a week after that. I tried a piece of that pizza and it was disgusting.”

 

Frank grinned a little because he remembered that and Gerard indeed gave him the silent treatment for a week after than. He wanted nothing to do with Frank and the broccoli pizza. It had actually been good though. River turned her attention to him though and he stopped grinning and looked at his food.

 

“Did you know them, Ghoul?”

 

Frank debated for a minute and glanced at Gerard, who looked a little panicked at what Frank might say. He grinned again.

 

“Actually, I am Frank and that pizza was good.”

 

Gerard looked like he wanted to smack Frank but River looked so excited.

 

“Really! Where is Gee? You didn’t go find him?”

 

“No…he left and I thought about it but he’s probably forgotten me by now.”

 

Frank shrugged and went back to eating, he could see the look on Gerard’s face out of the corner of his eye but he refused to acknowledge it.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We’re going back to Patty and Screamer. I thought things would be better here but we can’t stay.”
> 
> “But why can’t we stay with Uncle Mikey and Bob and Ray and Frank?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fadefur won the contest and requested a Frerard cuddly drawing (in the fic below) Congrats ^-^

 

Gerard woke up and saw that everyone but Frank was gone. He frowned at the fact that even River was gone.

 

“Where is everyone?”

 

“Mikey wanted to take River to Haven today and he figured you wouldn’t mind. Bob and Ray went with him to make sure she’d be safe. They left food for you.”

 

Gerard nodded.

 

“I think that’s the most civil thing you’ve said to me since I got here.”

 

“Don’t get used to it. I’m being nice because it’s your kid and you have a right to be worried. I’m also too tired right now.”

 

Gerard got up and grabbed the plate of food and sat at the counter to eat it.

 

“I never forgot you, by the way.”

 

“You’ve got a funny way of showing it.”

 

Gerard frowned.

 

“Frank, I never forgot you, there was not a day I didn’t spend wishing you could have been there with me or that I had gone with you.”

 

Frank ignored him and it irritated him.

 

“Mikey told me you still wear our rings on that chain around your neck.”

 

Frank looked up and frowned.

 

“What the fuck happened to his so-called promise to you that he’d stay out of it? He won’t tell me shit but he gives you whatever info you ask for.”

 

“Well that could be because I asked him not to tell you one specific thing, because I was trying to figure out when and how to tell you. Also, I’m his older brother, he has to tell me shit.”

 

Gerard stuck out his tongue at Frank but Frank just looked at him.

 

“Well, there’s no one here and I’m not doing anything so spill it then.”

 

“It’s not that easy, Frank…”

 

“Then shut up and leave me alone. I don’t want any part of your bullshit.”

 

Gerard jolted at the words, it stung to hear him say that.

 

“Frank…”

 

Frank looked at him and the expression on his face softened for the first time.

 

“What happened to forever? That’s what you promised me.”

 

“You broke that promise for me.”

 

Gerard took a deep breath and fought back the tears.

 

“I didn’t mean to. I never meant to hurt you like that.”

 

“But you did.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Frank froze and looked at him. For a second it looked like he wanted to forgive Gerard but he shook his head.

 

“It takes more than a couple of empty words to make up for what you did.”

 

Frank walked out and left Gerard sitting there by himself, with those words burned into his mind. He couldn’t fix what he’d done, he already knew that, but hearing it made it worse.

 

~~~~~

 

When everyone was asleep that night Gerard packed his bag and River’s. He hated this but he couldn’t sit here and argue with Frank anymore. River was tired and confused when he woke her up. He picked her up and carried her out, and started walking in the direction that he knew Haven was in. Maybe they could find someone to take them back up to Riverside there.

 

“What’s going on, Daddy?”

 

“We’re going back to Patty and Screamer. I thought things would be better here but we can’t stay.”

 

“But why can’t we stay with Uncle Mikey and Bob and Ray and Frank?”

 

Gerard winced. It still bugged him that they’d all given in and told her what their names were after Frank revealed his. He accepted that it was their choice though and they didn’t use his name in front of her.

 

“We just…can’t…ok?”

 

She pouted but nodded and let him carry her. It was a lot longer of a walk than it was a drive. Two hours turned into six and Gerard was tired by the time he could see Haven in the distance. The sun was starting to come up over the horizon.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> River Lynn Way.  
> Born: May 20, 2021  
> At BL Industries Main City Hospital.  
> Mother: Gerard Arthur Way. Father: Unlisted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BONUS UPDATE!!! You get two updates today because I'm feeling bored and generous.
> 
> Also...my little brother Aiden is quite angry and provided the image below to express how he feels about this fic

 

Frank woke up and crawled out of bed to find no one was there. He frowned and looked out the window to see Mikey, Ray, and Bob all hunched over the hood of the car looking at the map. He put on his boots and went out to see them.

 

“What’s going on?”

 

Mikey looked up at him and he could see the panic in his eyes. That scared Frank a little because Mikey was usually relatively calm.

 

“Gee and River are gone, we don’t know when they left or where they went. There was no note but all their stuff is gone. Why would Gee leave like that?”

 

Frank’s heart stopped. Gerard wouldn’t have left because of their argument. Would he?

 

“We need to find them. Gerard is smart. He’d go for Haven, he may not plan to stay there but if we can get word up to Patty to keep an eye out for him, she’ll let us know if he turns up there. All we can do is look in Haven and hope someone has seen him and that the SCARECROWS haven’t found him.”

 

Bob nodded.

 

“I’ll go up and give the message to the Doctor. You guys go find them and bring them back home.”

 

Mikey nodded and Frank ran inside for his jacket and gun. When he found Gerard, he was gonna smack him and see if that knocked some sense into him.

 

~~~~~

 

Gerard sat on the side of the road with his head in his hands and groaned. He was tired and still hadn’t found a way to Riverside. River was leaning against him, still tired from being woken up in the middle of the night. He felt bad but he couldn’t stay there and he couldn’t leave her behind. He looked around for a minute and sighed.

 

“Maybe we can walk…it’ll be a long walk but we can do this. It’s…fine.”

 

River groaned but stood up when he started to get up and held his hand as they walked.

 

~~~~~

 

Frank dropped Ray and Mikey off as they got into Haven and took the car to look around. He stopped every time he saw a person and asked them the same question but no one had any answers. He drove around for hours and found nothing and it was starting to worry him.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

He called to a man sitting there fixing his guitar. The man looked up.

 

“Have you seen a man with bright red hair and a little girl around here?”

 

“Yeah, actually. He sat here for a good hour before he said something to the little girl and they started walking out that way.”

 

The man pointed out of the city towards Riverside.

 

“They left about two hours ago, but I don’t imagine they got far. They both looked tired.”

 

Frank nodded.

 

“Thank you.”

 

He turned the car around and headed out of the city. Only two hours and a tired kid. They wouldn’t get far. He drove until he saw something on the side of the road. He pulled over and got out when he was close enough.

 

“Hey!”

 

He yelled and Gerard turned and looked at him, looking shocked and afraid. Frank looked at River.

 

“River, get in the car. Now. I need to have a chat with your father.”

 

River let go of Gerard’s hand and ran over to climb in the car before Gerard could stop her. Frank walked over to him as fast as he could and hauled off and slapped him across the face.

 

“Don’t you ever fucking do that to me again. I woke up to find the others panicking trying to figure out where you were. We spent all fucking day looking for you. Do you know how stupid is for you to be walking out here? You could have been grabbed by SCARECROWS and I never would have seen you again. I will not fucking lose you again, do you hear me?”

 

Frank growled and Gerard just looked startled and scared.

 

“I didn’t think you cared.”

 

“Well then don’t assume what I’m thinking, asshole.”

 

Frank grabbed the collar of Gerard’s shirt and pulled him down to his level so he could kiss the idiot. Gerard was even more shocked by this than the slap. It didn’t take long for him to melt into it though. When they broke apart, Gerard just looked at Frank.

 

“But you…”

 

“I know, I’m still mad. And I’m still hurt. But I failed to realize one fucking thing and you running off helped me see that.”

 

“And what’s that?”

 

“You came back. You’re here now and if I keep acting like an asshole, I’m gonna lose you all over again. I’m not saying things will change overnight but I can’t lose you again before I can even really have you back.”

 

Frank smiled at him for the first time and kissed him again.

 

“Now get in the car before I pick you up and put you in the car.”

 

Gerard chuckled and nodded, tossing his bag in the car and climbing into the passenger seat as Frank got in and started the car.

 

“Are we going back?”

 

“Yes, we’re going back home now.”

 

Frank said and pulled away to go back for Ray and Mikey. He found them back at the place he’d dropped them off and when they saw Gerard they frowned. Mikey leaned into the car, right in his brother’s face.

 

“Don’t you dare, ever fucking do that again or I will _let_ Frank beat the shit out of you, do you hear?”

 

“Frank already warned me…get in.”

 

“Good.”

 

Mikey hopped into the back and pulled River into his lap. She curled up there and went to sleep. Frank took off to go get Bob from the radio station. The drive was about an hour and Gerard fell asleep. When they got there, Bob was sitting outside with Showpony. They pulled up and Bob saw Gerard in the passenger seat.

 

“Oh good. I’ll go tell the Doctor then. Where the hell was he?”

 

“On the side of the road heading for Riverside.”

 

Bob rolled his eyes and went inside for a minute. He came back out and climbed into the car, reaching in the front to turn on the radio.

 

_“Well, boys and girls, we can breathe a sigh of relief. Party Poison and the Kid have been found and are on their way to being snuggled up safe and sound at home. Old Patty, stand down sweetheart, your boy is well taken care of.”_

 

Frank smiled and nodded as he pulled away. The drive home was quiet and Frank kept glancing over at Gerard to make sure he was okay. His face looked a little sunburned but that’s what he gets for walking like that so it served him right. They pulled up to the diner and Frank got out only for Mikey to hand him River and he didn’t know what to do with this clinging child. He sighed and carried her inside as Bob picked up Gerard and carried him in. Frank very carefully peeled River off of him and set her in her bed. He pulled the blanket up over her and then turned and glared at Mikey.

 

“Don’t ever give me the clinging, tired, little monkey child like that again.”

 

Mikey laughed and shook his head. Bob was in the process of dumping Gerard in Frank’s bed and he was going to say something but he just didn’t. He grabbed Gerard’s bag and dragged it over to where River was and started unpacking the stuff. He frowned as he pulled out the keys to his old car and the CDs he knew were in the console. There was even the little crystal wolf thing Gerard had got him that he’d hung on the rear-view mirror. He unpacked the rest and found old pictures of them and a sealed envelope with his name on it. He paused for a minute. It must be the note Gerard had left him. He shoved it in his pocket so he could read it later and unpacked their clothes. He found a little folder at the bottom that had papers in it. He opened it and it was things like the Gerard’s personal info and then he found River’s birth certificate. He looked at it for a minute.

 

_River Lynn Way._

_Born: May 20, 2021_

_At BL Industries Main City Hospital._

_Mother: Gerard Arthur Way. Father: Unlisted._

 

It went on to list her size and weight but Frank was stuck on the word “unlisted”. Not unknown, just unlisted. May 20, 2021. Gerard would have had to get pregnant with her very close to when he left for that to be possible. Frank frowned and put it away. He didn’t want to think about the other man. It wasn’t something he needed in his head right now. He went over to his bed and crawled in beside Gerard. He thought for a minute and sighed. May 20th was just over two months away. Gerard’s birthday was coming up too. He grumbled and rolled over to try and sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’ve had months. Tell him or I will.”

Gerard woke up to find Frank’s arm over him. He knew it was Frank’s because it was covered in tattoos. He wiggled around till he could roll over and face Frank. It was kind of nice to wake up next to him. Frank was asleep still and more peaceful than he could remember him being since they’d gotten here. He snuggled his face into Frank’s chest and hummed at the familiar warmth and the sound of his heart beating steadily in his chest. Frank stirred a little and Gerard could hear him waking up. He looked up at him and smiled. Frank gave a weak smile back and detangled himself from Gerard so he could climb out of bed. Gerard sighed. He knew Frank said it wouldn’t change overnight but he hoped it would change a little. Though he supposed that Frank sleeping next to him was a little bit of a change. He smiled and decided to just not move for a while, Frank was warm and soft and it made it easy to drift off again for a while.

 

When he woke up again it was because Frank was nudging him. He grumbled and looked up at Frank.

 

“What?”

 

“You’ve got my arm pinned so I can’t get up and I gotta piss so fucking move please.”

 

Frank nudged him again and Gerard scooted over so Frank could get his arm free and take off to the bathroom. Gerard chuckled and shook his head before snuggling back into the pillow. He heard Mikey giggling in the next bed over and he reached out around the side of the divider to swat him. Mikey just swatted back and then peaked up over the top.

 

“You guys sound like an old married couple and it’s hilarious.”

 

Gerard chuckled and shook his head.

 

“Get over here, I’m fucking cold.”

 

Mikey laughed and crawled up over the top to slide in beside Gerard.

 

“Hey! What the fuck, guys? Why do I get left behind?”

 

Gerard heard Bob whine and he looked at Mikey, who nodded, before they both crawled over to crowd Bob in the other bunk.

 

“Alright, I didn’t expect both of you, holy hell.”

 

“Well then don’t complain next time I want to cuddle with my brother.”

 

Mikey warned him and kissed his cheek before settling in. Gerard laced his fingers into Mikey’s on Bob’s stomach and they just lay there together. They’d done it a million times before but somehow this was just nicer. It wasn’t long before Frank came back and noticed the empty bunk and looked over at Mikey and Bob’s bunk.

 

“Alright, traitor, what the fuck?”

 

“Hey, Mikey bailed on me and when I bitched, they both crawled back over here. You can have him back if you want. They’re a pair of human furnaces. It’s ridiculous.”

 

Bob looked up at him. Mikey made a face.

 

“Well then maybe we should both go cuddle with Frank. I don’t wanna hear any complaints next time I go over there.”

 

“No.”

 

Bob wrapped himself around Mikey and cuddled him close.

 

“I’m not complaining about shit.”

 

Gerard giggled and crawled back over into Frank’s bunk. Frank hesitated for a minute but crawled in beside him. Gerard snuggled into him and hummed happily. Frank put his arm around him but looked uncomfortable about it for a few minutes. Gerard felt kind of guilty.

 

“Frank, if this is too much…you don’t have to pretend it’s ok for us to be like this again…”

 

“I didn’t say anything, did I?”

 

“No but you look…”

 

“I’m just…it’s weird, after not having you here for so long. It feels right to give you shit and to want you back over here to cuddle with me but at the same time I just…we lost so much time and I’m still so angry about it.”

 

Frank frowned. Gerard nodded and rested his head on Frank’s chest for a minute before starting to get up to go back to his own bunk. Frank tightened his grip on him though and shook his head.

 

“It’s fine, don’t leave, my head is just processing. It’ll be fine.”

 

Gerard laid back down and looked up at Frank. He could help automatically reaching up to trace the scar on Frank’s face.

 

“What happened?”

 

Frank looked at him and frowned.

 

“It’s from when they had me locked up for a month trying the earlier stages of that Compliance Treatment on me. They pushed every button to see if I would still comply under different kinds of duress. They all failed because I wouldn’t comply even when I wasn’t under duress. They got creative with their torture methods. They left several marks on me. That’s just the one everyone sees.”

 

Gerard’s heart hurt knowing that they’d hurt him like that and it worried him about what they may have done to River. His fingers traced over the scar and Frank looked a little wary of Gerard’s expression. Gerard ignored the concern in Frank’s eyes and pulled his hand down to rest beside his head on Frank’s chest. He listened to him breathe for a while and listened to his heart beat. He smiled at the forever comforting sound and held onto Frank. After a little while he felt movement on the bed and looked up to see River crawling up beside them. Frank looked unsure for a minute but moved his arm to make space for her. She curled up in the crook of his arm and tucked her head against his shoulder. She wasn’t there for long before Mikey came and scooped her up.

 

“Come on you, we gotta go check those potatoes you planted and I’m not digging around in the dirt by myself so let’s go.”

 

She giggled and clung to Mikey, letting him carry her outside. Bob and Ray followed and the silence that filled the diner got a little uncomfortable. Gerard looked at Frank.

 

“It’s nice to see you getting along with her.”

 

“I don’t know how to feel about her right now.”

 

“Frank, she’s just a kid. Don’t let your anger with me affect how you interact with her. She doesn’t understand.”

 

“It’s not just about you, it’s about her father…and the whole situation. I know she doesn’t understand but that doesn’t make it any easier for me.”

 

Gerard opened his mouth to say something, maybe to tell him the truth, but it got caught in his throat and he just sighed and rested his head back down.

 

“You never did tell me why you stayed behind and went to the city.”

 

Gerard frowned.

 

“Can we please not open that can of worms right now? And just enjoy the fact that it’s totally quiet in here for once.”

 

Frank sighed but nodded.

 

“You’ll tell me when you’re ready. We’ve got nothing but time I suppose.”

 

“Thank you. It’s nice to just talk to you without you yelling at me.”

 

A chuckle shook Frank’s chest under Gerard’s head and made him smile.

 

“Well…if you won’t tell me why you stayed, maybe you’ll tell me what the city was like?”

 

“It was cold, and plain. Everything is a dull gray or a glaring white. It’s hard on the eyes sometimes. Everyone follows the same general routines. There’s no art or music. Certain books aren’t allowed and there are no movies really. There’s only one TV station and one radio station. All it plays is news and propaganda. There’s like one or two actual shows but even that is bland and so full of their political brainwashing I can barely stand them.”

 

Frank wrinkled up his nose and made a disgusted face.

 

“I worked in communications, so I sat in a cubicle all day everyday and sorted emails and files. River went to school but I don’t know what they actually even taught there besides language and math. I think they’ve fully phased out any languages used other than English…or mostly they have anyways.”

 

“That sounds like an actual nightmare, how the hell did you put up with that? I don’t know if anything changed with you but when I knew you before that would have drove you insane.”

 

“It was just boring, it didn’t really allow for any thinking or anything like that and I think that’s the point. I was actually considered weird though because I didn’t go out with other people and I just stayed at home with River all the time. The park was the only place that I liked going because it was still green and pretty.”

 

Gerard smiled as he remembered it and looked up at Frank.

 

“The river going through it usually had little ducks in it and they’d stop to watch you walk past sometimes. Cara used to get mad that I’d go on those walks. She said it wasn’t safe and that it was ridiculous. Though I think she was more afraid because I was pregnant at the time and she didn’t want me to go into labour there with no one around to help me.”

 

“Sounds nice I guess.”

 

Frank looked uncomfortable.

 

“What about River’s dad? Was he not worried about you walking around in the park? Why wouldn’t he just go with you?”

 

Gerard opened and shut his mouth a few times trying to think of what to say to that.

 

“I don’t know. He wasn’t there.”

 

It wasn’t a lie. Frank hadn’t been there.

 

“So, wait…he just knocked you up and left?”

 

“Something like that…”

 

Again, not entirely a lie. Gerard looked at his hand on Frank’s chest to avoid the heat of his gaze.

 

“So, she never really had a father then.”

 

This seemed to bother Frank more than the idea of Gerard being with someone else.

 

“No, not really. It was just me and her. And occasionally Cara.”

 

“Who was Cara again?”

 

“She was the woman that came and retrieved me the night we were separated. She stuck with me, probably because she felt bad for me or something. Though looking back, she may also just have been keeping an eye on River while they were experimenting. She was the closest thing I had to a friend though.”

 

Frank nodded and kissed the top of Gerard’s head.

 

“I’m sorry that I didn’t stay but I hope you understand why I didn’t. I couldn’t.”

 

Gerard nodded and squeezed Frank a little.

 

“I do but it still hurt. I felt like you’d abandoned me for such a long time. I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you. I know now that it was stupid and staying there wasn’t anymore safe than coming out here with you.”

 

Frank looked like he wanted to ask why he’d stayed again but he didn’t and Gerard was thankful for it. They laid there in the quiet for a bit till the other’s came back in and teased them for still being in bed. Bob stayed behind while the others went on a raid. Gerard didn’t mind the company and Bob was good with River so it was nice. Bob played card games with River for hours while Gerard read a book and watched them. They convinced him to join them after a while and he actually had fun. He lost pretty much every round but it was still fun to play at least. It had been a long time since he’d had the chance so he knew he wouldn’t be the best at it.

 

Eventually the sun started to go down and Gerard scooped River up to put her to bed. He tucked her in and she smiled up at him.

 

“Can you tell me a story, Daddy?”

 

“What one do you want to hear tonight?”

 

“Tell me the one about Frankie and Gee, the one when Gee knew he loved Frankie.”

 

Gerard smiled and nodded. It was her favourite story and he sat cross legged on the bed to tell it to her. He could feel Bob watching him.

 

“Well…you know that Frankie and Gee were in a band. They spent a lot of time together and travelled the world playing music to people who would come to see them. But Gee knew he loved Frankie even before all of that. They met when Frankie was in a different band, back then he was the singer. Gee ended up watching him perform one night and the energy that the man on stage had was something Gee had never seen an equal to. At the time Frankie was much younger and Gee knew that, so he never said anything but everything about Frankie made his heart skip a beat.”

 

Gerard smiled at her and River giggled.

 

“So, when Gee and the band he’d been working on starting with his friends realized they needed another guitarist, they decided to ask Frankie. Frankie had been a fan of Gee’s music, and unknown to Gee he felt the same way about him. Gee didn’t really realize he loved Frankie till they were in the recording studio without the others one night, working late on an idea, and Frankie told Gee how much he loved the way he sang. It just kind of hit him and it was a long time after that before they actually got together. Gee dated other men, hoping that maybe it would go away because he didn’t think that Frankie would feel the same about him.”

 

“But he did.”

 

“Yes, he did, and he told Gee when Gee was being an idiot and Frankie got scared that he was going to lose Gee.”

 

River smiled warmly and started to drift off but it took her a while.

 

“Did they ever get married?”

 

“No, but they were engaged. They wanted to get married.”

 

She spoke very sleepily.

 

“Did they ever have a family?”

 

“They did, but Frankie left before he knew that.”

 

He said as quietly as he could and kissed her forehead as she finally fell asleep. When he turned to get off the bed he was met with Bob’s confused, wide eyed stare. Bob had heard that last part even though Gerard had tried really hard not to let him.

 

Bob motioned with his head for them to go outside away from River. Once they were outside Bob turned on him.

 

“Tell me right now that Frank is not her father, and that you are not hiding that from him.”

 

Gerard hesitated and instead opted for silence. Bob looked at him in shock.

 

“Gerard, how can you not tell him?”

 

“Because, Bob, I’m afraid of what he’ll say. What he’ll think. I don’t know how to tell him. That’s not something I can just drop on him. I’ve tried to tell him but I can’t even get the words out.”

 

Bob hid his face in his hands and grumbled in frustration.

 

“Gerard, you have to tell him.”

 

“I can’t.”

 

“Yes, you can. It’s really simple. You walk up to him when he gets back and you tell him the fucking truth. He deserves to know that it’s his own daughter he’s been treating like a leper.”

 

“Bob please. Mikey already promised to let me figure this out, I need to ask that you do the same.”

 

“Wait…Mikey knows?”

 

“Yeah, he asked me about it a while ago. He’s my brother, I can’t lie to him.”

 

“So, you can tell your brother but you can’t tell Frank. That’s…so fucked up.”

 

“Because Mikey asked me directly and I physically cannot lie to him and when I try to, he knows so it wouldn’t make a difference. At least telling him the truth, I could ask him to keep his mouth shut.”

 

Bob shook his head.

 

“Why can’t you tell Frank? What could happen that would be so bad? He’d start acting like a father instead of a dickbag?”

 

“He’ll be furious that I stayed behind, he’ll hate me for not telling him, and he’ll never talk to me again for the danger I put his daughter in by staying there. Not to mention how he’ll feel about me hiding it before we were separated. Please, Bob, give me time to figure this out.”

 

“You’ve had months. Tell him or I will.”

 

“Come on, that’s not fair and you know it. It’s not just me and Frank that are affected by this. Think about what River is going to think? She thinks her father left us, that he abandoned her. How am I supposed to explain that he’s been right here for months and I said nothing? She’s a kid. She’s not going to understand that.”

 

Bob frowned and paused. That part he seemed to get.

 

“Ok, fine. But you have to tell him. Find a way to explain it to both of them. But the longer you wait the more their both going to be hurt by it.”

 

“I know, that’s what makes this so hard to deal with. I know I’m making it worse by staying quiet. I almost told Frank this morning but I froze up. I just couldn’t do it.”

 

Bob nodded and sighed. He looked at Gerard and then at the diner.

 

“As long as you’re doing what’s best for her, I’ll stay out of it but if things get any rougher between them…I can’t promise that I won’t tell him because I will not let him treat that innocent little girl like trash just because he’s been left in the dark about something like that. He honestly believes that you slept with someone else immediately after he was gone.”

 

Gerard nodded. He knew about that and it sucked but he couldn’t do anything about it right now without spilling everything. They went back inside and cleaned up the cards before going to bed. Gerard was going to climb into Frank’s bunk but Bob stopped him and patted the space beside him. Gerard smiled and crawled in beside him.

 

“They won’t be home till later tomorrow, it sucks not having Mikey here so you can curl up with me instead. That way you’re not alone either.”

 

Gerard smiled gratefully and settled in to go to sleep.

 

~~~~~

 

Gerard sat in the booth with River, colouring pictures and eating their lunch when the others finally came back. Bob sat across from him, doodling on his own picture, and laughing with River. Gerard looked up as Frank and Ray came in and Mikey followed close behind them. River looked up at them, cuddling into Gerard when she saw Frank, and Gerard felt bad because she must have been picking up on his hostility towards her even though he’d let her cuddle with him for a while yesterday. It made his heart hurt to see that she was a little afraid of him. Frank didn’t even look at them as he passed them to the counter to set his things down. Ray stopped though and crouched in front of River.

 

“Hey, sweetheart, got something for you.”

 

He held out a little bag to her and she looked up at Gerard until he motioned for her to go ahead. She sat up at held out her little hands as Ray chuckled and opened the bag to pull out one of the little things and set it in her hands.

 

“Thank you, Jet...um...what is it?”

 

Ray laughed and she smiled at him.

 

“It’s a Meowshmallow. Little kitten shaped marshmallows. You eat them. They are surprisingly still good. Try it.”

 

River looked at the cute little marshmallow uncertainly for a second.

 

“But...it’s cute…”

 

“It’s food.”

 

“Ok…”

 

River timidly took a tiny bite of it and smiled brightly at him in surprise. Ray set the bag on the table beside Gerard and kissed River’s forehead.

 

“Thank you for finding those for her. I haven’t seen them in years.”

 

Ray looked at Gerard.

 

“Oh, I didn’t find them. Fun Ghoul did and suggested bringing them back for her when he checked the date and saw they were still good.”

 

Ray sat at the next table and set down the rest of his stuff, leaving Gerard to sit there in confusion and look over at Frank. He was paying them no attention and quietly sorting things out. River looked from Ray, to Gerard, to Frank and quietly climbed over Gerard’s lap before he could stop her. She ran over to Frank and tugged on the hem of his jacket. Frank ignored her at first but she tugged again and he looked down at her.

 

“What do you want, kid?”

 

He said sharply and Gerard started to feel protective of her and worried. She didn’t seem bothered though, for once, and just hugged his legs.

 

“Thank you for the kitties, Ghoul.”

 

Frank pursed his lips together and set his jaw until Mikey cleared his throat and glared at him. He sighed and hesitated before gently patting her head.

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

She smiled up at him and backed away a little as she reached up her hand. He hesitated for a second and held out his, which looked huge next to hers, and was covered in ink that was in turn covered partially by a fingerless glove. She took his hand and tugged him over towards where Gerard was sitting. She let go when she got him close to the table and she climbed up to grab the bag of marshmallows. She offered them to him and he raised an eyebrow.

 

“Want some? We can share the Meowshmallow.”

 

She took one out and set it in his hand. He looked at it and almost looked like he was considering it. He shook his head and gave it back to her before turning away and going back to what he was doing.

 

“Work to do.”

 

River pouted a little and looked at Gerard.

 

“Daddy, why doesn’t he like me?”

 

Gerard sighed and picked her up to put her back in his lap and hold her close.

 

“There are just some things he’s dealing with and things that he doesn’t understand, baby. It’s not your fault.”

 

Bob gave him a meaningful look but choked and went back to his doodling when Gerard glared at him warningly. He knew he had to tell him at some point though. This was too strained and Gerard knew that Frank was honestly trying but it still hurt to see those interactions between him and River.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank frowned at him and it seemed to irritate Bob a little.
> 
> “I seem to recall you freaking out over Mikey fucking around on you, so if you’re going to do the same to him-.”

After a couple of weeks, Frank started to notice how closely Bob was hovering around Gerard and River. He noticed the whispers between Bob and Gerard. It made him more uncomfortable than he’d like to be. He also noticed how often Mikey was excluded from said whispering and hovering. Mikey was busy, to be fair, because the radio had broken again and he was trying to fix it but that didn’t put Frank’s mind at ease. He tolerated it for a couple more weeks until he and Bob ended up out on a raid alone together.

 

“What the hell is going on with you and Gerard, by the way?”

 

Bob looked up from reloading his gun at Frank’s sudden inquiry.

 

“What?”

 

“You’ve been very close to him all of a sudden, so what the fuck is up?”

 

“I didn’t realize I had been…sorry if that bothers you?”

 

Frank frowned at him and it seemed to irritate Bob a little.

 

“I seem to recall you freaking out over Mikey fucking around on you, so if you’re going to do the same to him-.”

 

“Woah, woah, woah. Watch what you say next, Iero. _That_ …is not happening. Gerard is head over heels for your dumbass still and I have Mikey. You wanna know why I’m hovering? Because you’re an asshole and you can’t seem to act right towards that kid. I may not be married to Mikey but both he and Gerard have expressed that it doesn’t matter and she’s essentially my niece too. When you learn to quit being an asshole to a five-year-old, then I’ll back off.”

 

Frank frowned and turned to look straight ahead.

 

“You can’t tell me that if you were in my shoes, you’d feel any different about the kid.”

 

“Actually, I would. I’d see a kid with only one parent, stuck out here in the Wasteland. This life is unfamiliar to both of them, Gerard doesn’t know how to shoot a gun. Frank, that kid is defenseless. So yes, I would feel differently about it, which is why I’m hovering. I’m trying to protect them because you’re severely slacking in that department right now. In short, I’m doing your job, so if you want to be a jealous prick about it then maybe you should take some time and reflect and figure out what the real problem here is. Because it’s not me.”

 

Bob growled and got out of the car, leaving Frank there with his thoughts. He hated it but he could see Bob’s point. All River really had was Gerard. Mikey and Bob were there but Gerard was the only real parent she had. He hadn’t taken the time to realize that Gerard couldn’t shoot a gun though. That just would not work out here and it surprised him that he’d lasted this long without that skill. He got out of the car and followed Bob silently to do what they had come here for. He’d worry about teaching Gerard to shoot later. He’d worry about apologizing to Bob for the accusations later too.

 

~~~~~

 

Frank hauled their findings back into the diner and smiled as he saw Gerard playing with River, holding her up in the air like she was flying. He had to actively resist the sudden urge to tickle her sides and make her giggle. He knew what Bob was saying. River had no father. She was alone and had been abandoned by that man. She’d likely never even known him. Gerard was left to raise her by himself and now he was here, with Frank making that difficult on him. He watched River and realized how it must look to a little kid for a grown man to act the way he had been towards her. He dropped the bag he was carrying and grinned evilly as he snuck up behind her while Gerard was holding her and tickled her gently. Gerard saw him coming and held her steady, smiling warmly at Frank. River giggled and squirmed and Gerard let go of her so Frank could set her down at his feet. She squealed and giggled, and tried to back away from him but just backed herself into his legs. Frank laughed and then stopped to let her breathe. She wiggled away from hi, still laughing but less red. Frank reached out and pulled her back.

 

“And just where do you think you are going?”

 

She giggled furiously and tried to crawl away. Gerard was watching and laughing but she reached for him.

 

“Oh, I’m not saving you, little lady. You can deal with Fun Ghoul all by yourself. He’s not very big, should be no problem.”

 

“Hey!”

 

Frank squawked indignantly and stuck his tongue out at Gerard. He reached down and scooped River up, putting her over his shoulder. She squealed and tried to pound on his back with her tiny fists.

 

“Nooooooooo.”

 

He set her up on the counter and smiled at her. She looked so pleased that he was finally willing to play with her, and threw her arms around his neck. Frank smiled and hugged her tightly. He caught sight of Bob watching and smiled when Bob nodded approvingly.

 

“I’m sorry I’ve been very grumpy. I was just…it’s hard sometimes for me to remember that you’re just a little kid and don’t always understand what’s going on. I’ll try to remember that though. I didn’t mean to upset you. Bob told me how you felt about it and I just wanted to apologize, okay?”

 

River nodded.

 

“It’s okay, Ghoul, Daddy says you’ve always been a little grumpy about some things. As long as you promise to be nice and play hide and seek, I forgive you.” 

 

“I think a game of hide and seek could be arranged. Is it okay if I talk to your Daddy about something for a little bit first though?”

 

River nodded and Frank looked at Gerard, who motioned for him to lead the way outside. He did and he heard Mikey move forward to gather up the kid in his arms and take her to find some dinner. Once they were outside Gerard stopped and looked at Frank with his arms folded over his chest.

 

“So, what brought on the change of heart?”

 

“Bob…reemed me out and brought up some excellent points about River not really having a father and that you were kind of stuck doing this on your own.”

 

Gerard looked concerned about this and Frank raised an eyebrow.

 

“Don’t tell me that Bob is in on whatever Mikey knows too? Am I the only one in the dark here?”

 

“No, Ray doesn’t know and neither does River.”

 

“Then just tell me. What am I missing that is making everyone so goddamn mad at me? I know I’ve been a dick since you guys got here and I’m trying to work on that. I’ve had it pointed out to me several times. What don’t I know?”

 

“Frank…it’s…”

 

“Hard for you to tell me? Yeah, I gathered that much. But there’s obviously something and it’s made both Mikey and Bob give me hell for it even though I have no idea what is going on. There’s nothing you could tell me right now that would make things any worse than they already are.”

 

Frank could see how bad Gerard wanted to tell him but he couldn’t seem to get it out. Frank sighed and shook his head.

 

“I just want to understand what’s going on.”

 

He pleaded with Gerard but it didn’t seem to help. Gerard shook his head and disappeared inside, leaving Frank standing there with more questions than answers and trying to figure out what he could possibly be missing.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What? Don’t question why my supposed fiancé is hiding from me? Either Bob or Mikey, I don’t remember which, took care to point that out by the way. We never broke off the engagement officially and you never stopped wearing that ring. If you can’t be honest with me then why bother fighting like this to find me again, and why still wear the ring?”

Gerard stood outside with Frank, a gun in his hand and incredibly concerned about where this is going. He watched Frank curiously as he started messing with some scrap a little way away from him. When he came back to Gerard he just smiled.

 

“Frank, what are we doing?”

 

“It was brought to my attention that you don’t know how to shoot a gun properly. Out here that’s no good and will get you killed. Not to mention you have a daughter to protect.” 

 

Gerard frowned and looked at the ray gun. He understood the basic principal of how it worked but he was sure he’d be a shitty shot. Frank reached out and took the gun.

 

“Alright, so shockingly enough these actually have a safety on them. You click it off like this.”

 

Gerard watched him pop the little switch on the side and it clicked.

 

“I’m assuming you should at least know how to cock it and fire, you’ve seen enough movies. Aim is a little trickier than you’d think and you have to consider recoil because your hand will move if you’re not used to it. After a while you can hold it a little steadier but until then just remember that you might not be aiming where you think you are.”

 

Frank put the gun back into Gerard’s hand and pointed at the little scrap pile he’d set up. Gerard realized it was meant to be a target. He took a deep breath and looked at Frank again.

 

“I really don’t know about this…Frank. I don’t leave the diner so…”

 

“See, now that is the problem. You should be able to help with the raids. Not to mention if we go up to Riverside again and we take you with us what happens if SCARECROWS find us and you’re left defenseless with River. I’m not saying you have to shoot anyone but if you ever have the need to, I think it’s a good idea that you know how and Bob agrees.”

 

“Well, of course Bob agrees. He’s just as bad as you.”

 

“Why? Because we believe in knowing how to protect ourselves and would rather fight than be taken alive or killed in the middle of the Wasteland? I don’t see what the problem with that considering what these people do.”

 

Gerard sighed and nodded. He thought about what they’d done to River when he dared to trust them. He looked at the target and thought about what Frank said about recoil. He used his other hand to steady the one holding the gun but Frank swatted it away and readjusted Gerard’s hand. He nodded and Gerard cocked the gun and looked at the target for a second before firing. He missed by a few feet and he frowned. Frank chuckled.

 

“You’re not gonna get it on the first try. Think about what you just did, the effect, and readjust to compensate.”

 

Gerard nodded and adjusted his aim. He’d been too low and too far to the right, mainly from the recoil like Frank had said. He tried again and still missed but he was closer. He heard the others and glanced over to see them coming out of the diner to watch. He frowned at Mikey holding River. He didn’t really want her out here right now. He shook it off as Frank cleared his throat and nodded at the target again. Gerard furrowed his brows and adjusted again. This time he actually hit the target even if it wasn’t dead center and he smiled. He looked at Frank, who nodded and went to stand the target back up. He came back and stood beside Gerard.

 

“You want to go for a head shot, generally speaking, but you hit it about where their arm would be which might disarm them at least. A SCARECROW without a gun is pretty useless.”

 

Gerard nodded and Frank stayed out there with him for over an hour coaching him on how he needed to adjust. Eventually Frank nodded and decided that Gerard wasn’t going to get much better just shooting at the target so they went inside. Frank started rummaging around in his stuff and pulled out a leg holster and a yellow ray gun. He’d used Frank’s own green one that he always had on him but he guessed that this one was now going to be his. Frank showed him how the holster attached to his belt and went around his thigh. It was weird but not uncomfortable. He could still move but he understood why Frank didn’t use this one even though he had it. Frank’s holster put his gun under his arm, it didn’t seem like the most practical thing but it was probably a little more comfortable because he pretty much always wore it.

 

“This is your gun, do not lose it. They aren’t actually all that easy to get a hold of out here. You gotta know the right people and hope they actually have any.”

 

Frank handed him the gun, making sure the safety was on before he did so, and smiled at Gerard put it in the holster and nodded in understanding. Gerard felt a tug on his jacket and looked down to see River holding a mask up to him. He knelt down and let her set it in his hand.

 

“We all wear masks when we go out, River wanted to make sure you had one too so I found some old paints and a mask and she painted it for you to match your gun.”

 

Mikey smiled at Gerard and River beamed with pride as Gerard looked at the mask. It was a masquerade type mask that would cover the top half of his face. He smiled and hugged her.

 

“Thank you, sweetie. I like it. How did you know what colour my gun would be though?”

 

“We only have one spare so I told her what colours it was.”

 

Mikey shrugged and sat down at one of the booths. Gerard looked at it for a minute and then put it on and looked at River.

 

“What do you think?”

 

“Pretty Daddy.”

 

She laughed and snuggled into him. He pushed it up to sit on top of his head and buried his face in her hair. When he let go of her, she ran over and climbed up into Frank’s lap. He looked startled but allowed it and smiled as he started looking over something on the map that he’d seen them all looking at before. Gerard stood up and watched for a minute, smiling gently, until he felt Bob’s hand on his shoulder. Gerard sighed because he knew without Bob speaking what he wanted to say but he still couldn’t. He’d rather watch them together, acting like nothing in the world was hanging over them, than to drop that knowledge on them. Gerard shook his head and Bob sighed in frustration before going over to sit with Mikey. Gerard moved over to sit across from Frank and River. Frank glanced up at him and offered a forced smile. He was still very much uncomfortable with this but he was trying and Gerard supposed that was all he could ask of him.

 

~~~~~

 

Gerard grumbled as he rolled out of bed. The sun wasn’t even really up yet but Frank as refusing to let him sleep for some reason. He scowled at the man nudging him insistently.

 

“Let’s go, lazy bones.”

 

Frank grinned and tugged at Gerard’s arm. Gerard growled and rolled over. Frank huffed and proceeded to crawl onto the bunk and jump to put his entire body weight on Gerard’s side. Gerard cough and wiggled, turning to glare at him.

 

“I said let’s go, now get up.”

 

Frank grinned and crawled back out of the bed. Gerard sat up reluctantly because he knew if he didn’t that Frank would not hesitate to do that to him again until he did. He scooted over to the edge of the bed and grabbed his jeans. He stood up and wiggled into them before slipping on his jacket. Before he could ask why he was rudely being hauled out of bed so early, Frank handed him his holster and mask.

 

“Oh…”

 

“It’s your turn to go with me.”

 

Frank motioned for him to hurry up and then headed out to the car. Everyone else was still asleep. Gerard sighed and fastened the holster on before he went out to catch up with Frank. He climbed into the passenger seat and smiled a little when Frank turned on the radio and turned it up.

 

“Only Killjoy names outside the diner, okay?”

 

Frank glanced over at him to make sure Gerard had heard him, and he smiled when Gerard nodded. He’d kind of figured that was the case.

 

“You realize that BLind already knows your name, right?”

 

Frank looked over at Gerard with some clear panic in his eyes.

 

“What?”

 

“They don’t know the others’, as far as I know anyways. But they know your full name and have already matched it to your Killjoy name.”

 

Frank said nothing more until they pulled up to a hidden spot near the road.

 

“This is where we’re waiting till they come pass. But we have some time so please explain to me how they know that and why you know that they know that?”

 

“I don’t know how they figured it out, probably Cara when they had you for that month. She was sent to retrieve us so she saw the pictures around the apartment.”

 

“Ok, fine. I’ll accept that that makes sense. Fine. But how do you know they have that information?”

 

“I told you before I was working in communications. Emails.”

 

“So…how long did you know I was out here then?”

 

“I found out the same time as I found out what they were doing to River. They mentioned your testing in her file but they called you Fun Ghoul. I searched that name in my old files to see who the hell you were. It was password protected but I’d seen Cara use her password before so it was easy to get into. I think it was the email just after you were taken in that said your name and linked you to the name Fun Ghoul.”

 

Frank frowned.

 

“Why was I mentioned in River’s file?”

 

“I guess because you were another test subject…”

 

Frank didn’t look completely convinced.

 

“Plus, you were someone I knew. All they said was that she was as stubborn as you were, which makes sense…because she’s my kid, and you and I are similar in our stubbornness.”

 

“You’re rambling, Party. You only ramble when you’re avoiding something…”

 

Gerard furrowed his brow and shook his head.

 

“No, just…trying to rationalize BLind confuses me, I guess. I don’t know.”

 

“I guess that’s fair.”

 

Frank settled back into his seat and Gerard relaxed a little. It was one of the most uncomfortable things to have to lie to Frank like that but he still couldn’t bring himself to tell him. He looked at Frank and the similarities between him and River were just mocking Gerard at this point. He didn’t know how Frank couldn’t see it. She looked so much like him.

 

“Though, I wouldn’t think she was stubborn. She’s never been anything but sweet with us.”

 

“That’s because you’ve never tried to tell her no.”

 

Gerard grinned and remembered some of their arguments. She was pretty relentless for a kid.

 

“I guess that’s true. Should I be worried about the day I have to?”

 

“She doesn’t like that word, at all. I usually try to be tactful about it and say it in a round about way because she seems to take ‘no’ as a challenge.”

 

Frank chuckled and shook his head.

 

“Well I understand why they’d compare her to me then.”

 

Gerard smiled at him and nodded.

 

“I usually go with ‘not right now’ or something like that. Gives her a sense that it’ll happen later even if it won’t but she doesn’t seem to get the overwhelming urge to try it anyways.”

 

“She’s a difficult one then? Seems like you’ve done alright raising her on your own.”

 

“Most of the time. She didn’t really ever have a lot of options. I’m just waiting for her to figure out exactly how much freedom she has out here compared to the city. It’s not easy to raise a kid on your own though. I don’t think it really matters what the situation around you, I don’t think it can ever be easy.”

 

Frank nodded.

 

“Does she ask about her father?”

 

“She has but I just told her he left. It upset her but I couldn’t explain it to her any better than that. She asks more about Gee and Frankie than she does about that.”

 

“Why doesn’t she know that you’re Gee? That part has never made sense to me.”

 

“It’s easier to tell her those stories if she thinks they’re about someone else. Gee and Frankie being separated upsets her quite a bit. It’s complicated, I guess. When I was in the city it just made it easier to talk about if I pretended it wasn’t my life. Let me distance myself from it so it would hurt less.”

 

Frank frowned at him and shook his head.

 

“Would have hurt less if you hadn’t stayed behind the way you did.”

 

“I didn’t have much of an option, Fr-Ghoul. We’ve been over this already.”

 

“And yet I still get the sense that there’s more to it because there’s stuff you won’t tell me.”

 

“It’s not that I won’t…it’s that I can’t. I’ve tried so many times and I just can’t get it out.”

 

“Would you rather I started guessing till I get it right?”

 

“Please don’t. I will tell you, just…”

 

“I know, give you time. That’s what I’ve been doing. But it’s getting kind of old at this point. I hate being left in the dark about shit and it annoys me even more that Mikey and Bob both know because somehow you can tell them but you can’t tell me. That makes no sense.”

 

Gerard felt guilty about that part. It really wasn’t fair to Frank. He closed his eyes and did his best not to let it get to him. He couldn’t deal with that right now. Frank turned in his seat to completely face Gerard.

 

“What could possibly be so bad that you have to hide it from me?”

 

“Frank, please don’t. Just…don’t.”

 

Frank looked even more upset by this.

 

“What? Don’t question why my supposed fiancé is hiding from me? Either Bob or Mikey, I don’t remember which, took care to point that out by the way. We never broke off the engagement officially and you never stopped wearing that ring. If you can’t be honest with me then why bother fighting like this to find me again, and why still wear the ring?”

 

Gerard looked up at Frank and it felt like he’d shoved a blade through his chest with the implications in his tone.

 

“Because I never stopped loving you. I still do, Frank. I fought to find you because in this entire fucked up world, above everything else, you were the thing I missed the most. I wanted you back, I have since I made the stupid decision to stay there.”

 

“It doesn’t feel like you do. It feels like you’re hiding and lying and I hate it. I missed you too, Gee, more than I thought was even possible. I didn’t realize that when I got you back that I wouldn’t even know you anymore.”

 

Frank looked at the road and sighed. Gerard could see the vehicle in the distance.

 

“Mask on, we’ll finish this conversation later. Aim for the tires.”

 

Gerard nodded and pulled his mask down over his face and followed Frank out of the car.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Did you seriously slap Frank?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooooo I made an oops...I missed the update on Tuesday...so you get two updates today...sorry guys...

After they finished with the SCARECROWS, they’d been too busy running away to finish the conversation. They went to Haven and sold most of what they got for ammo and food they couldn’t get for themselves. The ride home was silent and when they got back River was waiting and immediately demanded Gerard’s attention. He spent the night with her and was glad for the reason to avoid Frank for a while. He could breathe a little easier without the questions and hurt look in Frank’s face looming over him. It was burned into his brain though and it got to be too much after he put River to bed in her bunk. He went outside and sat looking at the night sky. It was peaceful. It was calm. The night sky was something that hadn’t really changed unlike everything else. Logically, he knew it had but he couldn’t tell so to him it looked just the same. Maybe that was the point. Ignorance was bliss. He wished that could be the case for Frank but it wasn’t. Thinking about it brought the tears spilling over though.

 

He didn’t even notice Mikey sit down beside him till he wrapped his hand around Gerard’s. He stopped and looked at Mikey but the look of concern on his face made it so much worse. Mikey wrapped an arm around Gerard and held him close.

 

“You guys fighting again?”

 

“He won’t stop pushing and I still can’t bring myself to tell him. It just gets worse the longer this goes on and I hate it. I just want him back, Mikey.”

 

Mikey sighed and squeezed Gerard’s arm soothingly.

 

“I know, Gee, you need to tell him though. The sooner you do the better it’ll be. Maybe he’ll forgive you when he understands.”

 

“It doesn’t feel like he will.”

 

“Well…I know something that’ll cheer you up for now.”

 

Gerard looked at him in confusion.

 

“We’re going to Riverside. Old Patty put out a call for some help. They’re having a SCARECROW problem again. You’ll get to see her again.”

 

Mikey smiled hopefully and Gerard tried to smile back but his face wouldn’t really cooperate. He was glad he’d be able to see Old Patty again. He missed her and Screamer. Mikey sighed and leaned his head against Gerard’s for a while. They went inside and Mikey crawled into his bunk beside Bob. Gerard looked over at Frank, who’d left space for him. He wanted to crawl in beside him and let Frank hold him and make it feel okay but he knew that wouldn’t really help. He went over to the bunk that he and River had used before and crawled in, burying himself in the blanket. He heard Frank sit up and knew he was looking at him but he ignored it. He hid his face and laid there awake for a long time. He heard someone get out of their bunk and go outside, slamming the door behind them and waking River up in the process. Gerard got up to shush her but Mikey beat him to it and just pointed at the door. Gerard didn’t want to listen to what Mikey was telling him but Ray and Bob both glared at him in response. It’d been Frank. He was angry. They were sending Gerard to fix it.

 

Gerard grumbled and took off outside to find Frank sitting on the hood of his car. He hesitated and saw an envelope in his hand. His heart sank. He moved closer and Frank seemed to know he was there.

 

“You know, I took this…meaning to read it. After a while I forgot about it and then when I found it in my pocket again, I decided I’d wait and let you tell me what was in it. The more I think about it, the more I think that was the wrong decision. That maybe I should just read it because you’re never going to tell me.”

 

Frank glanced at him and handed it to him. It was unopened still.

 

“But now, I don’t really care what it says. I’ve been trying, Gerard, against all my better judgement. I let your brother and Bob lecture me. I listened to them and I tried to give you the chance to tell me in your own time. But it’s been so long…I can’t keep doing this.”

 

Frank looked back out at the horizon.

 

“So, keep whatever your secret is. I don’t care. But don’t expect me to keep trying. If you don’t want to level with me then I won’t waste my time. Don’t expect me to go back to the way things are. I even tried to make friends with River, I thought that would help. I’m done fighting with you, Gerard, I’m done pretending this is okay, and I’m done pretending that I could ever be okay with that little bastard child you brought here with you.”

 

Every word cut into Gerard in a new way and he stood there in shock. He should have known Frank would have enough and push him away. He should have known but he’d trusted that he had time. He’d just run out of time.

 

“Frank, I…”

 

“Shut up. I don’t want to hear it.”

 

Frank got down off the hood of the car and went inside without another word, leaving Gerard standing there with a hole punched through his heart. It was like the day he found out Frank was gone all over again. Gerard sat down and just stared at the sky.

 

~~~~~

 

Gerard didn’t sleep at all that night and when Mikey came out the next morning and found this out, he was furious. The others had packed up what they would need and were loading up the car. Mikey glared coldly at Frank and refused to speak to him for a solid three hours until he absolutely had to because Mikey had the map. Gerard was silent and sat in the back with River in his lap the whole drive. She tried to play games with him but he was lost in his own mind so Bob took her and kept her entertained. Frank didn’t speak much either and he didn’t look at Gerard, not that Gerard was paying attention all that much. He was, however, very aware of Bob’s concerned gaze on him.

 

They pulled over in a hidden area as the sun went down and started to set up camp for the night. Mikey left Bob by himself in favour of cuddling close to Gerard. Bob sighed and moved over to lay on the other side of Gerard, blocking Frank from his sight completely and hiding him from Frank. Gerard buried his face in Bob’s chest and laced his fingers with Mikey’s. It was easier to fall asleep listening to Bob’s uneven snores and with Mikey so close to him. River was curled up with Ray but eventually she wedged herself between Bob and Gerard and curled up there. Gerard kissed her forehead and sighed heavily.

 

When the sun began to rise everyone got up again and loaded into the car. River curled up quietly in Gerard’s lap and looked up at him while he watched their surroundings fly past them.

 

“Daddy?”

 

He looked down at her and saw the sadness in her eyes. That hurt more than anything he’d seen or heard from Frank. Seeing that she was hurting was the worst pain he could imagine.

 

“What’s the matter, baby?”

 

“Why are you sad?”

 

Gerard frowned.

 

“Because…Daddy did something stupid…and now he gets to deal with the consequence of that. I’ll be okay. Don’t worry, little one.”

 

He whispered to her and tucked her head under his chin. He sighed and closed his eyes, willing the tears to go away. He would not cry in front of his daughter. He felt someone watching him and he assumed it was Bob but, when he opened his eyes, he noticed it was Frank looking at him in the rear-view mirror just before he looked away. Gerard looked down at River, who was now watching Frank and looked a little upset at him.

 

The first signs of Riverside were an immense relief to Gerard. Once they stopped, he grabbed his and River’s stuff and slipped away from everyone to Old Patty’s hut. She smiled at him and held her arms open to him for a hug. She faltered when she saw his face though.

 

“River, go out and find Screamer. He wants to show you the new potatoes we planted.”

 

River nodded and took off outside to find Screamer. Patty turned her attention to Gerard and frowned.

 

“Something is hurting you, what happened? Did he not take it well?”

 

“He still doesn’t know.”

 

“Party, it’s been months and months now. How have you still not told him?”

 

“Every time I try, I just freeze up and can’t make myself say it. He…has decided he doesn’t want to know what I’m not telling him…and I’m fairly sure he wants nothing to do with me because of it.”

 

Gerard couldn’t help but break down. Patty shushed and soothed him as she reached out and hugged him. She sighed and sat him down at the table.

 

“Well, you will stay with me while him and the boys deal with those SCARECROWS that set up camp nearby. If I don’t know how to make you feel better then I don’t know who will.”

 

She smiled at him and went out to send the others on their mission. He heard Mikey ask about him and she silenced him immediately, making Frank scoff. This sound was followed by the sound of Patty’s hand connecting with the back of Frank’s head and him being told off for being inconsiderate to Patty’s need to have Gerard there to help her. It was the furthest thing from the truth but Patty didn’t care. Gerard knew that about her. She was like a mother to him and right now that’s what he felt like he needed. She returned a few minutes later and smiled at him.

 

“Did you seriously slap Frank?”

 

“You’re goddamn right I did. He’s hurting my boy and being a disrespectful asshole to me. I will not stand for either.”

 

“It’s not his fault.”

 

“Maybe not but he does have a say in how he handles it and he’s handling it very poorly. He is a grown man and should know better.”

 

Gerard looked at the table and said nothing as she started to move around by her little fireplace. He recognized the sounds and smell of her making stew. She noticed him moping and swatted him to get his attention before handing him potatoes and a knife. He cleaned and cut them without complaint or a second thought about it. She added them to the stew and set it to simmer for a while.

 

“If you want, while you’re waiting, you can fix the hole in the wall at the back of my hut that those stupid coyotes have been trying to get in through. I don’t know what it is in here they’re after but I do not appreciate it.”

 

Patty made a face and Gerard nodded, grabbing the tools from where he knew they sat and heading outside to go around the back of the hut. He found the hole and sighed. It wasn’t small. He went over to the side of the hut where she kept extra boards and pieces of metal. He gathered what he needed and set to work fixing it. It took the better part of the afternoon and before he was done, he could hear the others return. He heard them talking to Patty and ignored it in favour of working on strengthening the spot on the hut so the coyotes wouldn’t be able to get in again. It was roughly an hour before someone nudged him. He looked up to see it was Frank, with a blank expression that almost read as bored.

 

“Patty sent me to get you, said the stew is ready.”

 

Gerard nodded and turned back to his work.

 

“I’ll be in in a few minutes. Wanna finish this first.”

 

Frank sighed in annoyance.

 

“You don’t have to stand out here and wait for me.”

 

“And if I go in without you the old lady will swat me again and that actually hurts so I’d rather not. I didn’t even know you knew how to do this shit.”

 

“It’s what I spent my time here doing to earn my keep. Screamer taught me.”

 

Gerard reached for the last board and was surprised to find Frank crouched down holding it out to him. He accepted it and put it on where he needed it. When he reached for nails, Frank was already holding them. He was likely just trying to make the process go faster but it just made Gerard uncomfortable. He took the nails being held out to him anyways and motioned for Frank to hold the board in place. He did so without complaint and Gerard drove the nails through the board as swiftly as he could. When he was done, he gathered up the tools and headed for the front of the house. Frank grabbed his arm.

 

“Can we please pretend that things are fine while we’re here? Patty looks like she wants to tear me a new asshole and you pouting is not helping.”

 

Gerard stopped and looked at Frank.

 

“Maybe you should have thought of that before you decided that me trying to make this work no matter how hard it was for me and what the toll on River would be wasn’t good enough.”

 

Gerard turned away from Frank and went inside he before he could say anything else. Gerard put away the tools and, upon getting a look from Patty, cleaned his hands before he sat down and accepted the bowl of stew and chunk of bread from her. It was a while before Frank came inside and he didn’t look at any of them when he finally did. Gerard felt bad for what he said but it was the truth. That had been what Frank wanted, hadn’t it? The truth. He didn’t seem so pleased when it was given to him. They all took up space on Patty’s floor when it came time to sleep. All except for River, who was given a spot in the bed beside Patty. Gerard tucked himself in a corner and shooed Mikey away when he moved over to cuddle with him. He didn’t want the pity cuddles right now. It didn’t make him feel better and he knew it upset Mikey to be pushed away but he seemed like he was at least trying to understand.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “See, those rings hanging on that chain you wear tell me a lot about you.”
> 
> His mind raced, if they had Gerard he was fucked.

Frank sat bolt upright and clamped his hand over his mouth to keep from screaming. He looked around and went outside to get some fresh air. He leaned against the car and gasped for breath. The nightmares were getting worse. For a while he’d been okay. He thought he was over it now it was hitting him full force again. The memories refused to leave him even now that he was awake.

 

~~~~~

 

_“He’s resisting still.”_

 

_The familiar voice sounded irritated. He knew the voices but not the faces most of the time. He knew this was a woman, she only came in every couple of days to check in on the progress. He hated the sound of her voice. It grated on his nerves. They kept injecting him with something, it happened every day. Whatever it was it stung and made his brain foggy for about a minute before it cleared up and that just pissed him off. They would poke and prod at him until he snapped all while telling him to remain docile. As if that was going to happen. They had moved recently from prodding him to using blades and drawing blood. The one particularly cruel man had taken a riding crop to his back and he could feel where the skin had broken under several of the impacts from it. This woman though, when she was here it got so much worse. They were more insistent that he obey and remain docile, and when he didn’t, they were far more aggressive in their punishments._

 

_“Perhaps we’re not motivating him enough. Mark up that pretty face of his, maybe he’ll stay still if he feels a blade on his face. Make sure that if he moves something will be severely damaged. Like his lip, you can’t really fix a messed-up lip.”_

_He could hear the sickening grin in her voice and then he felt the cold sting of a blade against his face. They told him to remain still and docile but he jerked away from the blade and felt it bite into his skin. He winced and froze but he could hear a pleased chuckle from the person holding the knife. This infuriated him. They wanted him to conform but they didn’t mind hurting him in the slightest. He glared at the man holding the knife, daring him to try and make him comply. The man responded by digging the blade in further and dragging it across his face. Frank had no control over the scream that burst out of him at the searing pain._

 

~~~~~

 

He traced his fingers along the scar that marked up his face. It was one of many but it was the one that held the most sickening memory. That laugh. The sickening realization that they didn’t care about what they were doing. They’d never succeeded in getting him to comply. Not really. They’d gotten him to talk for them only once and that memory hurt more than the rest.

 

~~~~~

 

_“Tell us how the Killjoys are getting guns.”_

_Frank set his jaw and looked straight ahead. They didn’t have any weapons with them this time. He didn’t know what they were thinking. If he wouldn’t comply for a blade then why would he comply for nothing. The man in front of him sighed in irritation._

_“Tell us, or I’ll make sure you hurt for a long time.”_

_Frank ignored him._

_“You see, I know that hurting you doesn’t work. I think we’ve covered that pretty well. But I know that your heart isn’t exactly in your own body, in a manner of speaking.”_

_Frank furrowed his brows together and tried to ignore him._

_“See, those rings hanging on that chain you wear tell me a lot about you.”_

_His mind raced, if they had Gerard he was fucked._

_“We can get to him really easily. We know who he is and we know where he is. He’s got a lot more to lose than you do…so unless you want an unfortunate accident to befall him…you’re gonna open your mouth and start talking to me.”_

_Frank didn’t say anything and the man got right in his face._

_“It’s either the information or his pretty little neck…your choice.”_

_Frank’s heart sank but he clenched his jaw. They had to be bluffing. He remained stubbornly silent until the man held up a drawing. Gerard had done it and it was dated last week. They had access to his drawings…that meant they had access to him. Frank felt a crushing weight on his heart. He couldn’t let them hurt him. No matter why Gerard left him he still loved him and he couldn’t let him be hurt on his account._

_“Raids. We get them from you and we change the casing with paint we find in old scrap yards. Now leave Gerard alone. He has no part in this.”_

_The man frowned and before Frank knew what he was doing the man’s fist connected with his jaw._

_“You don’t make demands. However, you’ve been good. You did as you were asked. Is that the only place you get them?”_

_Frank nodded solemnly. The man seemed pleased._

_“Then I will leave your precious Gerard alone.”_

~~~~~

 

Frank hated himself for giving in to that but they would have hurt Gerard. Frank knew now that when he said “he’s got a lot more to lose than you do” he meant River. He would have left River an orphan. She would have been a baby at the time. She wouldn’t have remembered Gerard he supposed but that didn’t make it any better. He wondered if her missing father would have taken her in. The thoughts flooded through his head and he couldn’t really filter them. It was too much for him and he curled in on himself. He’d lost Gerard again. He didn’t know what Gerard was holding back but what he’d said early got to Frank.

 

_“Maybe you should have thought of that before you decided that me trying to make this work no matter how hard it was for me and what the toll on River would be wasn’t good enough.”_

 

Part of that stuck with him. The toll on River. He’d never really thought about how something Gerard was hiding could affect her and that that was what was holding him back. Gerard’s first thought was always River and her well being. She was his daughter and he put her first. Even before Frank. He felt sick that he’d pushed Gerard away because of it.

 

He heard something behind him and turned to see Gerard, dishevelled and confused looking. He’d crawled out of his corner and come outside in the middle of the night looking like he’d rather be in bed still.

 

“What are you doing out here?”

 

“I had to piss and then when I was coming back, I saw you sitting there. What are you doing out here?”

 

“Couldn’t sleep. Needed fresh air.”

 

“You were sleeping like a baby last I saw you.”

 

Gerard moved towards him uncertainly.

 

“Nightmares. They haven’t been so bad lately but tonight it woke me up.”

 

Frank looked down at the ground and climbed up to sit on the hood of the car. Gerard sat beside him out of habit and sighed.

 

“What are they about?”

 

“A lot of things.”

 

Frank felt the guilt of earlier hanging over him and he looked at Gerard.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Gerard looked at him.

 

“For what?”

 

“The other night. The things I said. I never considered that you could be holding back to protect River. So, it has to do with her then? Or just…it’ll affect her?”

 

“Both. Everything in my life since she was born goes back to her.”

 

Frank nodded.

 

“Gee…I’m…”

 

Frank watched him and he didn’t look as angry as he’d been before.

 

“Frank…maybe you were right. It was a long time ago and you clearly don’t forgive me for leaving.”

 

“That’s not what I said. I’m more mad that you won’t talk to me but you’ll talk to all the others.”

 

“I know, Frank, I know but…”

 

“I know, I get that now and I’m sorry I keep pushing you. I don’t want to hurt you or River. I’m just…struggling to deal with the man I love keeping shit from me. I’ll get over it and you’ll tell me when you’re ready to.”

 

“You’ve told me that before and then picked fights with me about it because I didn’t tell you soon enough.”

 

“I know and I’m sorry.”

 

Frank turned to face him directly.

 

“I have been through hell and back and I never stopped to consider that maybe you had too. River has been your first priority every step of the way since we found you again and I should have expected that you being so afraid to talk to me had to do with her. I was stupid, I know that. I keep losing you because of my own moronic tendencies and you’d think I’d learn from that but I don’t.”

 

Gerard didn’t seem to know what to say to Frank and instead just nodded.

 

“I understand that you have to protect her. So, I want you to promise me something. Even if you can’t tell me everything, and even if it takes you a year to be able to tell me why you stayed. Please promise you’ll stop hiding from me. I lost five years with you, I feel like I don’t know you anymore. I need you to fill in some of those blanks for me. I know you told me what your life was like but that doesn’t give me a lot.”

 

Gerard nodded and gave Frank a small smile.

 

“I know it doesn’t and I can promise to try. Okay?”

 

Frank nodded back at him and hesitated for a second before he leaned forward and kissed Gerard. He squeaked in surprise before melting into Frank’s touch. Frank pulled him over into his lap and deepened the kiss. Gerard straddled his legs and wrapped his arms around his neck. He hummed happily at him being so close to him again. When they broke apart Frank kissed Gerard’s neck and held onto him tightly, completely unwilling to ever let go again. Gerard laughed and the sound was music to Frank’s ears. It brought back everything he’d felt before all hell broke lose. Gerard moaned softly in Frank’s ear and he clung to Frank, making him grin and look up at him.

 

“Been a while?”

 

Gerard grinned and nodded before slipping his hand down between Frank’s legs.

 

“Apparently it has been for you too.”

 

Frank growled and leaned into Gerard’s shoulder.

 

“Since the last time we were together. This is a little out in the open, though, don’t you think?”

 

Gerard nodded but didn’t take his hand away, palming Frank through his jeans.

 

“You either cut that out or I’m going to pin you down and show you what happens when you tease me.”

 

“Maybe I want you to.”

 

Frank looked around and saw a tent beside Patty’s hut. He didn’t remember anyone going into it and it had a little wooden roof over it. He remembered that it’d been Gerard’s when they found him here. He moved Gerard off of him and climbed off the hood of the car to drag him over to the tent. Gerard laughed and opened the front of the tent. It was empty and looked like it’d stayed that way since Gerard left it. He crawled in and Frank followed him. It was small but they didn’t need space. Gerard made a little “oof” sound when Frank pinned him to the floor of the tent, as promised, and grinned up at Frank.

 

~~~~~

 

Frank grumbled as he woke up. His back hurt and his arm was asleep. He looked beside him and saw Gerard curled up into the side of him. He had no shirt on and Frank furrowed his brows together for a minute before the memory came flooding back. He smiled and cuddled him closer. They were covered by a blanket that had been left in the corner of the tent. It was nice to just lay here with him for a while but he heard voices.

 

“Where the fuck are they?”

 

He recognized Ray’s voice.

 

“I don’t know. Ghoul going missing at night is pretty normal because he refuses to talk to anyone about the nightmares and let someone help him but Party doesn’t pull this shit.”

 

Mikey sounded actually pissed off. Frank frowned and pulled his arm out from under Gerard’s head to get up and put on his pants. Once he at least had jeans on he opened the corner of the tent’s door and poked his head out.

 

“Will you assholes please be quiet? If you wake him up, I will personally beat the ever-living shit out of you.”

 

Mikey spun around and looked at him in confusion. He studied Frank for a minute.

 

“Where is your shirt?”

 

“None of your business. Now shut up.”

 

Mikey glared at him for a minute.

 

“Is Party Poison in there with you?”

 

“Where the fuck else would he be?”

 

Frank heard Gerard shift and grumbled behind him. He looked back at him and saw him rubbing his eyes as he sat up.

 

“What the fuck? It’s too early for yelling. Why is everyone yelling?”

 

“Your brother thinks you’ve gone missing.”

 

“Fuck _off_ , Mikey, I’m right here. Jesus fucking Christ.”

 

“Well excuse me for being concerned when I wake up and you’re not where you were when I fell asleep.”

 

Mikey came over to the tent door and Frank closed it enough that he couldn’t see Gerard. Mikey paused for a second and swatted Frank’s hand, making him jump, before he opened it to crawl in. He froze when he saw Gerard’s bare chest and shins at either end of the blanket that was barely covering his hips and crotch. He looked at Frank and sighed.

 

“Really?”

 

Frank shrugged and backed away from Mikey a little.

 

“Get dressed, idiots. Patty will kill you if you don’t show up for breakfast in like five minutes.”

 

Mikey backed out of the tent and closed the door behind him.

 

“What the fuck?”

 

Ray asked as they went back into the hut.

 

“You don’t even want to know. Just leave it alone.”

 

Frank shook his head and looked back at Gerard, who grumbled before he laid back down and rolled over. Frank crawled over and kissed his shoulder, making him hum and smile. He looked up at Frank and pulled him down to kiss him. Frank chuckled and pulled away.

 

“You need to get dressed because Mikey isn’t wrong about Patty killing us.”

 

Gerard nodded in understanding and sighed before he sat up again and tossed the blanket away unceremoniously to get dressed. Frank gathered up the rest of his clothes and got dressed properly. They crawled out of the tent and went inside the hut. Patty smiled knowingly at him and shook her head as she dished out breakfast. He turned on Mikey.

 

“Rat.”

 

“I didn’t tell her shit.”

 

Mikey started on his breakfast. Patty put her hands over River’s ears and grinned at them.

 

“Sorry, darling, but your hair and his walk gave you away. I’m glad you two worked your issues out though.”

 

She let go of River and set their food on the table. Frank looked back at Gerard and saw that he was indeed standing kind of oddly. He chuckled and ran his hand through his hair before he sat down.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Liam has expressed some interest in going out on raids, becoming a true Killjoy. I was wondering if maybe he could go with you guys?”
> 
> Gerard hesitated and looked at Frank. He really didn’t like that idea. Frank spoke up for him though.
> 
> “No. It’s too dangerous to take a kid out on that kind of mission.”

Gerard spent the day helping out around Riverside the way he had when he’d lived here and Frank just kind of followed him for the day. He was glad to have the help though and Frank spending more time with him was a bit comforting. They talked about everything and nothing. Frank was both fascinated and disgusted about the boring intricacies of life in the city.

 

“Wait…no music…not even on the radio? It’s just talking about garbage all day?”

 

Gerard nodded and held his hand out for a nail.

 

“Well that’s just…I would have thought they’d allow like…classical or something.”

 

“No, because that’s still expressive. River had never actually heard music till the day we left. We took your old car that had all your CDs in it, which are at the diner now by the way, and I let her pick something.”

 

“What’d she pick?”

 

“Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge. She said she liked the picture on the front.”

 

“Really? Huh. She’s your kid alright.”

 

“It was your CD. After that we listened to Green Day and Welcome to the Black Parade. She’s a weird one for sure.”

 

Frank laughed and shook his head.

 

“Well, she’s got good taste at least. I’ll give her that much.”

 

They finished up the fence and moved onto the next project.

 

“I’m guessing she’s never watched a movie either then.”

 

Gerard shook his head and bent down to set the tool box beside the shop’s wall. It was the same one he’d fixed when he’d gotten his jacket. The owner’s son came out to greet them and Gerard smiled at him.  He was a pretty good kid but Gerard had only really seen him a handful of times. He couldn’t be more than sixteen. Frank looked at the kid and raised an eyebrow at him. Gerard just grinned and shook his head.

 

“Hey, Liam.”

 

“Hey, Party.”

 

Liam smiled at him and looked at Frank.

 

“You’re Fun Ghoul?”

 

“Yeah…”

 

“Nice to meet you. I tend to avoid the crowd when you come into town so I’ve never really had the chance to see you.”

 

“That’s fair, I guess. I’m not overly fond of it either so I can’t say that I blame you.”

 

Liam nodded and Gerard watched him for a little while. The kid bounced on his toes like he couldn’t stay still. He was energetic but laid back in a strange way.

 

“Dad sent me out to see if you guys needed any panels for the wall, he collected some a while back meaning to get this fixed and just never got to it.”

 

Gerard looked at the wall and nodded.

 

“Yeah, that’d be helpful. Why don't you and Ghoul go get them and I’ll start figuring out what is going on here that it keeps falling over or falling apart.”

 

Liam nodded and motioned for Frank to follow him. Frank looked a little uncomfortable but went with him anyways. Gerard shook his head before starting to examine the wall. He about had it figured out when they came back. Liam was struggling with one panel and Frank seemed to be carrying about four. Gerard laughed as they set them down and shook his head. He didn’t remember Frank having that much muscle but he’d always just been kind of strong. His size didn’t hinder him all that much unless you put something on a top shelf and even then, he’d climb you like a tree to get it. He supposed that living out here and the work that Frank had to do might have helped him build a little more strength. It also was probable that he just seemed stronger because Liam was a lanky teen and his one panel was just awkward for him to try and carry.

 

“Alright, you two, help me secure this section here. I think that’s what’s causing the issue.”

 

Frank moved over to hold the piece Gerard indicated in place and Liam moved to the other side to try and help. The three of them quietly worked for a while till it was finished and the owner came out to look at their work. He nodded and smiled.

 

“Nice, looks like it might hold up a little better.”

 

“That’s the hope. I think I found the weak link and we did what we could to sort that out.”

 

Gerard got up and dusted off his jeans before gathering up the tools and nails.

 

“Liam has expressed some interest in going out on raids, becoming a true Killjoy. I was wondering if maybe he could go with you guys?”

 

Gerard hesitated and looked at Frank. He really didn’t like that idea. Frank spoke up for him though.

 

“No. It’s too dangerous to take a kid out on that kind of mission.”

 

The man raised an eyebrow.

 

“But you have a five-year-old with you.”

 

“And she never goes out with us when we’re doing that. She stays at home with at least one or two of us. Maybe in a couple years if he learns how to use a gun but not right now. I’m not going to be the one to come back and tell you that those bastards killed your son. I’m sorry, but no.”

 

Frank shook his head and gave him a look that said it wasn’t up for discussion. Liam looked frustrated and disappointed. Gerard sighed.

 

“Liam, you have to understand what Ghoul is saying. Taking you out now, when you’re young and inexperienced doesn’t just put you at risk. Not to mention, having to kill another human being isn’t easy and not something we want to ask of a kid. We’re giving you time to show us that you can learn and get stronger. You could barely carry that panel, what are you going to do is a SCARECROW gets close enough to grab you? You won’t be able to fight them off and protect yourself.”

 

Liam nodded in understanding.

 

“I just want to help and make a difference in this fight.”

 

“You can and you will. There’s plenty you can do here in helping the settlement. If you train and work hard then maybe one day when you’re older and we come back then you can ask us again. Okay?”

 

Gerard offered him an encouraging smile but it didn’t seem to help.

 

“Liam, I’m in my forties and can barely manage. Think about that. It’s a lot harder than you think.”

 

Liam sighed and nodded.

 

“I’ll work really hard.”

 

Frank nodded and smiled at the kid. They took the tools and stuff back to Patty’s hut and put it away. The others had already packed up and loaded everything into the car. Patty hugged each of them and gave River a treat for the road before they loaded in and started the drive home. Frank turned on the radio and drove for a while. Gerard zoned out a bit, listening to the music. They drove through the night this time and eventually Frank had to pull over. The others were all sleeping but Gerard had woken up from a nap a little while ago. Frank looked tired and Gerard shook his head.

 

“Here. Switch with me and I’ll drive for a while.”

 

Frank looked at him and seemed too tired to argue. He got out and moved around to take River from Gerard and help him out of the car. Gerard held River while Frank climbed in and then set her in his lap. He held her close as he settled in to try and sleep. Gerard climbed in the driver’s side and continued the way Frank had been going. He knew enough of the area to get them home.

 

~~~~~

 

He woke up with Frank’s arm over him and he hummed happily, the drive had been a long one and he had switched back with Frank once he woke up. Mikey had been incredibly confused to wake up and see Gerard beside him instead of Frank but forgot about that when he looked back and saw River cuddled up with Frank. He’d grinned and voiced the desire for a camera but just turned around again and talked to Gerard for a little while.

 

Right now, Gerard was warm and comfortable and really didn’t fancy the idea of moving at all. He wiggled until he was pressed right against Frank and hummed happily. Frank stirred a little and grumbled. Gerard rolled over to face him and smiled at the look Frank was giving him.

 

“You are the worst, you know that? I was having a good dream for once and you and your wiggling woke me up.”

 

Frank growled quietly.

 

“What was the dream about?”

 

Frank kissed him and slid his hand down to his hip to pull him closer. Gerard got the idea and giggled.

 

“Pity I woke you up then.”

 

“I swear to god if you two start fucking over there I am going to vomit.”

 

Mikey’s very displeased voice came from his bunk and Frank laughed.

 

“The kid can probably hear you, idiot, shut up.”

 

Ray called from his bunk and Gerard heard something being thrown at Ray from Mikey’s bunk.

 

“She’s right next to me, and she’s asleep. Shut the fuck up. She didn’t hear shit.”

 

Gerard laughed and sat up to peak over the divider between the bunks. River was indeed curled up between Mikey and Bob.

 

“Oh, so you’re just mad that she’s making you two keep it PG over here.”

 

Gerard said and was met with a pillow to the face. He laughed and went to do it back but Frank pulled him back down to cuddle.

 

“No pillow fights, come on. Too sleepy for all this energy you two have.”

 

No sooner did he say it and Mikey’s pillow came down on him. Frank growled and pulled his own pillow out from under his head and whacked Mikey with it.

 

“I said no fucking pillow fights, asshole. Go back to sleep or I’ll smother you.”

 

“Temper, temper.”

 

Mikey chuckled and then looked down beside him. He leaned down and whispered something and Gerard realized that River must be awake. She crawled up over the divide and landed on Frank with her pillow. Frank looked at her for a second before she hit him with it and he frowned.

 

“Traitor.”

 

He hit her with his pillow but didn’t have nearly as much force behind it as he had with Mikey. She giggled and laid down on his chest, kind of hugging him. Frank smiled and allowed it.

 

“Kid has the right idea, sleep time.”

 

Frank wrapped his arms around her and smiled as he pretended to go back to sleep. She squealed and wiggled around trying to get out of his grip. Gerard laughed and reached over to tickle Frank, making him yell and twist away. He let go of her and glared at Gerard in betrayal.

 

“How dare you?”

 

Gerard grinned and kissed Frank’s cheek before scrambling out of the bed so Frank couldn’t get him. He shoved his way into Mikey and Bob’s bed and laughed as they made space for him. Frank peaked over the top and then ducked back down. He could hear him whispering to River for a minute and then they both came up over the top. Bob yelled into protest as Frank shoved himself between Mikey and Bob and whacked them each with the pillow. Gerard laughed and tried to keep River from falling off the bed.

 

“Too. Many. People. In. This. Bed!”

 

Bob complained and shoved at Frank.

 

“Hey!”

 

Gerard squawked as he fell onto the floor, Mikey catching River and laughing at him. Gerard threw his pillow at Bob’s face and pouted.

 

“Oh, well now look what you did, Bob.”

 

Frank laughed and crawled over Mikey to get to Gerard.

 

“If you didn’t all invade our bunk, we wouldn’t have this problem.”

 

“Your boyfriend started it.”

 

Frank stuck his tongue out at Bob, who rolled his eyes and looked at Mikey.

 

“He’s not wrong though. Don’t start shit that ends with five people in our bed.”

 

“Now where is the fun in that?”

 

Mikey grinned and Bob smacked him with Gerard’s pillow.

 

“The fun in it is that it doesn’t end with your brother’s husband wanting to smother me for hurting him, idiot.”

 

Gerard raised an eyebrow at Bob’s wording and he noticed that it made Frank pause too. Frank turned and looked at Bob.

 

“Husband?”

 

“Well you’ve been engaged for how long? Lord knows you can’t get _officially_ married out here but the way you two behave is close enough.”

 

Frank just looked at him for a minute.

 

“That’s not…will you just…I…fuck off.”

 

Frank shook his head and turned to help Gerard up onto his feet. Then they heard something outside. Frank grabbed his gun and ran out to see what it was. Gerard grabbed his and looked at Mikey to tell him not to move before he went out after Frank. When he got out there, he saw Frank shaking his head.

 

“Relax. It’s just Showpony being an idiot. What the hell dude?”

 

“Sorry, Dr. Death Defy said he had been blasting a message on the radio all day for you guys and you didn’t seem to be getting it.”

 

“What’s going on?”

 

“SCARECROWS gathering at the northern edge of the Wasteland. They’ve set up camp in a building closer too that they used to use but left a while ago. Something is going on. People are going missing, Ghoul.”

 

Frank frowned deeply and looked at Gerard in concern. Gerard felt an overwhelming sense of dread at what this could mean.

 

“Gather as many Killjoys as you can. We’ll meet at the station. This is bad and needs to be dealt with.”

 

Frank nodded at Showpony and they nodded back. Gerard honestly could not tell if it was a guy or a girl…or maybe they were just a they. He had no idea but he supposed that it maybe wasn’t his business. Showpony took off back the way they’d come and Frank grabbed Gerard’s hand to lead him back inside.

 

“Pack up and gear up. Shit is getting ready to hit the fan.”

 

He said as they got inside and went over to the bunk to pack his backpack. Mikey sat up and looked at him.

 

“Wait…what? What’s going on? What was that?”

 

“Showpony. Turn on the radio.”

 

Mikey ran over to the counter and turned on the radio.

 

_“Calling out to Fun Ghoul and his Killjoys. Things are getting a little murky in the north. We got SCARECROWS and all signs of trouble…what’s this? Our calls have been answered. Showpony is calling in from the booth down that way. Ghoul wants all Killjoys to the station. Folks, bring your guns, this is about to get ugly. All Killjoys, come home. We got work to do.”_

 

Mikey turned it off and looked at Frank.

 

“SCARECROWS gathering? Why?”

 

“I don’t know. Showpony said folks have been going missing up that way too. No one knows what is going on but this is going to turn into a fight.”

 

“So, we’re going then?”

 

Ray looked over at them.

 

“We can’t just stay here. Load up what we’ve got for ammo in the trunk of the car, get your shit, and let’s go.”

 

Gerard frowned.

 

“Wait. We can’t take River with us. What are we going to do with her?”

 

“She’ll be safe at the station. Dr. Death Defy can look after her. He doesn’t fight.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bob started to make dinner and swatted Frank’s hands away when he tried to help.
> 
> “No fucking ‘Cajun’ food tonight, asshole.”

They didn’t go straight to the radio station. Instead they went to settlements and recruited people. Some places didn’t have radios, and there was no guarantee that the places that did have them would have them on. It shocked Gerard to see how many settlements there were and just how many Killjoys. Mikey argued that everyone living out here was a Killjoy but Frank reminded him that most people only called the raiders and fighters that.

 

“Well that’s not how BLind categorizes us. They lump us all together and will kill us all the same because we don’t conform to their bullshit.”

 

Mikey shook his head as they set up camp for the night between settlements. Gerard shook his head and looked at Frank who was gearing up to argue with him.

 

“That may be true but BLind and their shitty opinions about things in the world are invalid and don’t fucking matter. I don’t know why you’d even consider what they think about it.”

 

“Because that’s how they look at us and to assume that they’re killing Killjoys based only on those who fight and those who don’t is stupid.”

 

“I’m not saying that they don’t kill both, I’m saying not everyone they kill is considered a Killjoy in the opinions that matter. They kill everyone in the resistance, Killjoy and civilian alike. They don’t care about people. They care about conformity. Which I don’t know why they ever thought that plan would work. There is no way to get everyone in the world to conform to one way of thinking let alone to live a robotic and dull life.”

 

Mikey shook his head but didn’t look like he really had anything to say about it. He went back to building a campfire to make their dinner on. Gerard set up his sleeping bag beside River’s so that she’d be cuddled up close to him. He didn’t like having her out here but she’d be fine when they reached the station. Frank turned on the little radio he had brought from the diner. It worked well enough. He sat there listening to updates for a while and sighed. Gerard looked up at him and raised an eyebrow.

 

“Word is coming in that people are getting dusted out towards the north. There are fewer settlements that way but there are some and as Killjoys are venturing out to come down to the station SCRAECROWS are getting to them and picking them off.”

 

Frank sighed and set the radio down. Gerard could see it weighing heavily on him and it sucked to see it. Gerard wished he could tell Frank it’d be okay but he honestly didn’t know that it would be anymore. From what he could tell it hadn’t been this bad since the beginning. He knew that SCARECROWS never stopped hunting Killjoys but this was different. This felt like a war was brewing. Gerard looked at River and frowned. He hoped that this wasn’t because of them. That this wasn’t a result of BLind not being able to find him and River. He knew that there was a very real chance that it was though and it bothered him to no end. Gerard frowned and went over and grabbed the radio. Frank frowned at him but just watched. Gerard changed it to the BL Station. He knew what station it was and it dawned on him that the others might not. It came through pretty clear and Frank looked at him in confusion.

 

“You knew that the whole time and only just now thought of it?”

 

“We don’t know what they’re doing but we’ve never needed to know more than now. I never thought of it because it’s always just been boring news crap but there’s a chance their sending out warnings to the people in the cities because they did before. Telling us not to travel between cities if it meant going through the Zones when more raids were happening in certain areas. A lot of Killjoys are moving around right now. That’ll freak them out, they don’t want people in the Zones.”

 

_“We’d like to remind people today to be careful on the roads, and whatever you do stay out of the Zones. An official curfew and quarantine will be taking affect as of tonight. It’s advised that you do not leave the city and if you can BL CEO asks that you stay indoors as much as possible until given further notice. Killjoys have begun to mobilize and we fear the worst. They may venture into our cities. We have set up extra security details, please do not be alarmed. These people are here to help.”_

Frank made a face of pure disgust at the radio and shook his head.

“It’s just this? That annoying voice. Everyday. All day?”

Gerard nodded and set the radio beside him.

“They have a couple different people but they all use the same tone and shit. It’s the most mind-numbing thing in the world.”

Frank was going to say something else but stopped as the radio said something else.

 

_“-flyers have been sent out with the names and faces of the five-year-old missing girl and her father, who kidnapped her. We fear for her safety so if anyone sees River Way or her father, you’re asked to contact your local authorities.”_

Frank looked at Gerard and River, shaking his head.

 

“They seriously want to call it kidnapping? Ridiculous. She’s your daughter and they fucking experimented on her. Who even reported her missing?”

 

“Probably her school or Cara. Could even have been the doctor when she didn’t show up for her regular appointments.”

 

“She had regular appointments?”

 

“Well yeah. Every other month. She gets sick a lot so they wanted to monitor her. Something about having a very weak immune system. I don’t know but I wasn’t surprised by it.”

 

“She hasn’t gotten sick since she’s been out here.”

 

Mikey raised an eyebrow and looked at her. She ran over to cuddle with him.

 

“I know and it’s been really unusual but don’t fucking jinx it because if she does get sick, we’re screwed.”

 

Frank looked at her and nodded.

 

“I don’t know. I don’t get sick quite as often out here either and I used to be sick constantly. I think it’s something to do with maybe less pollution compared to being in the city. It’s not really any cleaner out here but that’s my best guess so I don’t really know.”

 

Ray raised an eyebrow and looked from River to Frank, then at Gerard. He silently pleaded with Ray to keep his mouth shut and Ray just shook his head and sighed, looking at Mikey and Bob like he thought they knew. Gerard made a mental note to talk to him later. Ray spoke though.

 

“It also could be that out here there are less people packed into a small area. Cities are known to spread virus faster than rural areas and if someone has a weaker immune system then they’re more like to catch every virus that goes around. Plus, most surfaces in the city are just covered in germs because people are disgusting.”

 

Frank looked over at Ray and nodded in agreement.

 

“I think River is better off out here, it’s healthier for her in a lot of ways.”

 

River didn’t seem to care what anyone was saying about her, she was more interested in Mikey’s helmet. He chuckled and helped her put it on, then opened the visor so he could see her.

 

“I think you wear it better than I do.”

 

He grinned at her and she giggled happily, hugging him tightly. Nothing made Gerard happier than how comfortable River had become with her Uncle. It was amazing to watch and it was a comforting thought that she’d accepted the bigger family group. They’d gotten her to start calling Bob by Uncle as well and she took to it easier than he’d thought she would. Ray was still Jet though, but he seemed okay with that. Bob started to make dinner and swatted Frank’s hands away when he tried to help.

 

“No fucking ‘Cajun’ food tonight, asshole.”

 

Mikey laughed and Ray just shook his head. Frank was notorious for burning food and just calling it Cajun. Bob was not at all fond of it, though none of them really were, and frequently gave him shit for it.

 

“Awe, but come on. I’m so good at making Cajun food.”

 

“Like hell. Back away from the food.”

 

Frank stuck his tongue out at him and went over to sit with Gerard.

 

“Dick.”

 

Gerard chuckled and smiled as he leaned into Frank’s shoulder.

 

“He’s not wrong, Frank. He’s just the only one with the balls to tell you off for it.”

 

“I try!”

 

“I know you do…but it still sucks and River won’t eat it when you do that.”

 

Frank frowned but he didn’t argue because he knew Gerard was right. River was playing in the sand trying to make a little mountain of it but with little success. Frank watched her and shook his head. He pulled out his large water bottle and shooed her hands away to pour some onto the sand. He knelt down and showed her it was easier to shape that way. She smiled at him and he helped her build a little bit of a sandcastle. Gerard grinned as he watched them and his mind gave him a different scene. One of Frank doing this with her at the beach, little plastic shovel and bucket in hand. This hurt more to watch in comparison because he knew this wasn’t the childhood she should have had. It wasn’t the relationship with her father that she should have had either. Frank looked around and found a stick to break up and put on top of the sandcastle. He gave her a bigger piece and she stick it in the middle on the top like a flag post. Mikey grinned and pulled out an old rag, tearing off a small piece and tying it onto the stick.

 

“Alright, you bunch of children. Wash your damn hands off. Dinner is ready.”

 

Bob looked up at them and their creation and shook his head but he was smiling. They cleaned up their hands the best they could with water bottles and rags before Bob started to dish out dinner. It was a simple soup and Gerard wasn’t one hundred percent sure what was in it but it was good and it was warm. Ray got the fire down to embers afterwards so that they could go to sleep and hopefully not attract the attention of any SCARECROWS. River curled up with Gerard and went to sleep pretty quickly, leaving him awake and alone with his mind. The others seemed to settle in so easily but his mind plagued him with thoughts of everything that should have been.  He heard something and looked over to see Frank moving over towards him so that their heads were next to each other.

 

“You don’t look like you really plan on sleeping and I’d rather not right now.”

 

“I want to sleep but my mind is just…”

 

“What’s going through your head?”

 

Gerard sighed and looked at Frank.

 

“What life would have been like if this shit hadn’t happened. If we’d gotten married and had a normal life. We talked about getting a dog and you were working on music. I miss my comics.”

 

“Yeah, things would be different, for sure. But we didn’t get that option so there’s really no point in dwelling on it.”

 

“Yeah, I guess so. Do you think we’ll ever get back to that life?”

 

“Even if we did, I don’t think it’d ever be the same. The things that have happened…it’s never not going to affect us.”

 

“I know…but still…”

 

Frank frowned and looked at River.

 

“It does suck that she can’t be a normal kid. She never had that chance. She was born into a pretty shit world. I kind of question people that have kids now but at the same time they’re the next generation that might be able to fix this shit. At the same there are more kids being born into the BLind lifestyle than there are out here I imagine. It’s not exactly safe or easy to have a kid with no medical assistance in case something goes wrong. We’ve gone so far backwards in that kind of thing.”

 

Gerard nodded and sighed because that’d been one of the reasons that he was afraid to come out here in the beginning. It was no place to try and have a baby. He thought for a minute about what that would have been like. Who would have helped deliver her? He chuckled at the thought of Mikey or Ray or Bob trying to help. Frank wouldn’t have left his side. It almost hurt thinking about it because even that would have been better than what he’d done.

 

“What are you chuckling about?”

 

“Just thinking about what it would have been like if River had been born out here.”

 

Frank snorted and shook his head.

 

“Well that would have been…chaotic. We’d have to have taken you to Old Patty or something and kept you there for a while until she was born. Though…I don’t think River would have been a thought though.”

 

Frank looked at Gerard.

 

“I know you wanted kids, and I did too…but like I said, I don’t like the idea of having kids in this kind of world.”

 

Gerard didn’t say anything. He wanted to. There were always moments where he really wanted to tell Frank but he still couldn’t. He didn’t understand why. He was afraid, but he knew he should be able to tell Frank that River is his daughter.

 

“I’m still waiting for that dog we talked about though.”

 

Frank laughed and Gerard just shook his head. Of course, Frank was still waiting for the dog. It seemed like such a long time ago that they’d discussed that. Even then Frank hadn’t thought it was the right time to have a baby. Gerard understood it but there was nothing he could really do about it. He looked at River, fast asleep and curled up against him. He couldn’t imagine not having her anymore. She was a huge part of his life.

 

“I don’t know that we’ll really find a dog out here.”

 

Frank was quiet for a minute.

 

“Did they allow pets in the city?”

 

“No, it wasn’t something seen as necessary and wasn’t productive.”

 

“We’re probably more likely to find a dog out here then. They have to have all gone somewhere.”

 

Gerard looked at him doubtfully. If they didn’t mind killing humans then who was to say they’d have any sympathy for an animal.

 

“So, wait…no zoos or pets…nothing?”

 

“Nope.”

 

“Did they have anything resembling fun?”

 

“Not really. Sports were kind of still a thing but not competitively. It was just for exercise. They had bars but a bar without music or any real TV or anything is kind of a waste. They didn’t even have pool or darts anymore. We were allowed to play chess and checkers though because they’re supposed to test your mind. I don’t know. I guess some people could think that that’s fun. I didn’t do much of any of it. Just worked and went home.”

 

“Did you apply for that job?”

 

“No, they had jobs lined up for people as they evacuated them. They had a place for you in security, is what Cara told me.”

 

“Security? I would’ve been a SCARECROW then?”

 

“Maybe, I don’t know much about how the security works. It could’ve been a desk job or something but probably SCARECROW.”

 

Frank made a face and scoffed.

 

“Not a chance in hell.”

 

Gerard smiled and shook his head.

 

“I’m glad I left. I don’t think I could do that job. Though maybe that’s because I’m not a totally soulless bastard.”

 

Frank laid on his back and looked up at the sky.

 

“Not soulless but your soul is black for sure.”

 

Gerard grinned at him and got a look but Frank didn’t argue. He just shook his head and looked back up at the sky. Gerard looked up and saw the stars. He smiled as the memory of the night Frank proposed played in his head. The stars had been just as beautiful that night too. He thought about what it would have been like if things had stayed the way they were supposed to again. He thought about Frank rushing him to the hospital the day River was born. He thought about Frank holding her for the first time and bringing her over to Gerard. How tiny she would have been in his arms. Frank teaching her to walk and teaching her curse words when she started to talk much to Gerard’s disdain. He imagined them trying to get her to eat the processed nasty pea flavoured baby food that would inevitably have ended up all over one or both of them. He imagined Frank falling asleep on the couch with her cuddled against his chest and Lost Boys on the TV in the background. His eyes stung with tears at the thoughts and the thought that all that had been stolen away from them by selfish people who thought they knew how to fix the human race and gave no one a choice.

 

Gerard felt Frank’s hand on his face, wiping away the tears that’d spilled over. Gerard leaned into Frank’s hand and resisted the urge to curl in on himself. Frank sighed and got up, moving his sleeping bag around so that he was on the other side of River and could face Gerard. He laid back down and River smiled in her sleep, wiggling till she was comfy between them. Frank smiled faintly at her and looked back at Gerard.

 

“You ok? Or is your brain being stupid again?”

 

Gerard shook his head.

 

“All of the things that BLind has stolen from people. The lives that we should have had, the memories and opportunities missed. River deserved to be born properly and have a good home.”

 

“Properly?”

 

“They knocked me out. I don’t know anything about her birth. They didn’t give me a choice which is something no doctor would do before BLind took over. I went into the hospital and as soon as it was time, they knocked me out despite my protests. When I woke up, she was already like five hours old.”

 

“Now that is just wrong. Is that seriously how they do things?”

 

“I heard some moms at the school talking about it once. They’d both had their kids the same way and said it was the standard procedure. They weren’t upset though, they didn’t care. It made it easier for them. I’m sure having her the normal way would have sucked but I feel like I’m missing something and I hate needles.”

 

Frank looked actually angry about it and shook his head.

 

“The more I hear about those cities the more I thoroughly believe that they are disgusting human beings. Who the hell does that? There’s gotta be some law against that.”   


“I think they threw the rule book out when they took over and brought in their own.”

 

Frank made a face.

 

“That doesn’t make it okay.”

 

“I know.”

 

Gerard avoided looking Frank in the eye for a while and his mind wandered again.

 

“Ignore whatever your mind is telling you. You need to try and get some sleep.”

 

“You’re one to talk.”

 

“I will try to sleep if you will.”

 

Gerard watched Frank doubtfully but nodded and snuggled in to at least try. Frank being close by helped a little bit.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Just…we can camp wherever but I’ll stay up and keep watch. I just slept so I’m okay. Gerard can drive again…if you want to?”
> 
> Gerard pulled over and nodded.
> 
> “Yeah, that’ll be fine. It’ll be safer with someone keeping watch.”

The following two weeks sucked. They went to as many settlements as they could before going to the station. When they did get there Gerard almost thought that the station had been turned into a settlement with how many people were there. Some had vans, some had tents, and some had built little huts out of scrap gathered from the area. Getting into the station was easier than he’d imagined though and once safely inside Gerard breathed a sigh of relief. Dr. Death Defy was friendly and kind but very busy. Showpony was scarcely around and came and went constantly.

 

“This is absolutely insane.”

 

Mikey looked at Gerard, who nodded in agreement. He’d never seen anything quite like this. People were armed both with ray guns and assorted homemade weapons. He even saw a few old guns. He steered River quickly away from the crazy guy with the chainsaw. He made Gerard a little nervous. The look in his eyes was more than a little unsettling. River was fascinated by everything around her though and people seemed generally fond of her. One woman with brightly coloured dreads and lots of tattoos spent a full hour entertaining River with her tiny wood carvings she’d made and actually gave one of a cat to River to keep as a luck charm.

 

Frank seemed completely unphased by any of it and spent a lot of time talking to people about plans and strategy. It was confusing to watch because Gerard had never known Frank to be like this but Bob assure him that it’d become pretty normal for Frank.

 

“It got more common after we got him out of BLind. He got caught because we went in without a plan. He’s determined not to let it happen to anyone else.”

 

Gerard nodded because it made sense to him. He watched the people around him and it was a little overwhelming.

 

“Has there ever been anything like this before?”

 

“No, this is a first. But we’ve also never felt such a heavy threat from BLind, not to mention them going after a kid riles a lot of people up. Word has spread that they’re after River. Killjoys aren’t having any of it.”

 

Gerard looked at River and smiled. Such a small child could bring such a call to arms just by existing.

 

“We should head inside before it gets too much darker out here. River looks like she’s ready for bed.”

 

Gerard looked at River and nodded to Bob. He picked her up and followed Bob into the station where Dr. Death Defy had given them space to stay. They all piled together in the corner to sleep and it wasn’t the most comfortable thing in the world but it was what they had for now. Gerard couldn’t wait for this to be over so they could go back to the diner. He liked the sense of home that they had there. He set River down and she curled up into her little spot. Gerard smiled and took off his boots, holster, and jacket before crawling in beside her. Bob did the same and smiled at Gerard.

 

It wasn’t long before Mikey, Frank, and Ray came in and joined them. Bob moved over to give Frank the spot beside River and curled around Mikey.

 

~~~~~

 

Gerard woke up to commotion in the station and frowned. Bob and Frank were arguing about something and he realized that River wasn’t beside him. He sat up and looked over to see everyone at the table and River sitting in Mikey’s lap. It took him a minute to wake up enough to figure out what the argument was about. Frank looked rather irritated.

 

“Look, they attacked in that Zone and there’s another settlement not far from there that’s in danger. We have to get up there and evacuate those people.”

 

“How are we supposed to do that? Dr. Death Defy is already blasting it on the air waves to get out of there. We only have a car and it’ll take two days for us to even get up there.”

 

Bob shook his head and looked at Mikey.

 

“What if we send some of the people up with vans? They should be able to carry the people out of there. We can’t just do nothing.”

 

Frank considered it and nodded.

 

“Okay, and there’s another problem.”

 

“What’s that?”

 

Bob raised an eyebrow at Frank and looked concerned.

 

“Old Patty sent out a message for us, asking that River and Party Poison come see her. Something is going on but I don’t know what.”

 

“Okay…well that’s weird but that’s up to…”

 

Bob looked up and saw Gerard standing there.

 

“Oh, you’re awake.”

 

“Yeah, I’ve got no problem going to see Old Patty. I thought the point of us coming here was that River would be safe here though.”

 

“Yes, but, like I said it’s up to you. Patty is a friend and she doesn’t ask for much but she loves you like a son and River likes her.”

 

“I know, I’m just saying we need to be careful.”

 

Frank nodded and looked at River, who was not paying him an ounce of attention because she was playing with the sleeve of Mikey’s jacket, and Gerard watched the concern on his face. He cared about her.

 

“We’ll head out after noon then so we’re not driving with the sun at it’s peak. It’s supposed to be fucking hot today apparently.”

 

“That sounds like the best option but how long is it going to take to get to Riverside?”

 

Gerard frowned and looked at the map spread across the table under what looked like the remains of them trying to eat breakfast while they figured things out.

 

“Couple of days probably. Not sure. We’ve never really done that drive.”

 

Frank rested his head in his hands and sighed. They’d hoped to avoid going anywhere else till they mobilized against BLind. River wiggled off of Mikey’s lap and Gerard picked her up.

 

“I guess we should get ready then.”

 

“Yeah, I’ll go let Dr. Death Defy know what we’re doing and see what he says about the drive. Showpony has gone that distance before so maybe the Doctor will know.”

 

Mikey pushed up from the table and went towards the room where Dr. Death Defy sat to send out the radio broadcasts. Gerard sighed and carried River over to the bed area to start packing up their stuff. They had all day but leaving things till last minute seemed pretty pointless. Frank sighed and got up as well.

 

“I’ll go send some people towards the settlement and hope that they can get there in time to be of any help.”

 

Frank went outside and left them sitting there. Bob got up to help Gerard and Ray spent some more time going over the map and figuring some things out. Gerard didn’t know what they were going to do. It was insane to think they were going back to Riverside again. It really hadn’t been all that long since they’d been there last, or it didn’t feel like it had been anyways. He couldn’t imagine what was so urgent that Patty would call on them. She knew what they were doing and that they had to be here. He had to think, though, that because she knew that and was calling on them now meant that it was important. She wouldn’t have them do that drive in a time like this if it wasn’t. It made him wonder what could be wrong.

 

Once they were packed up and everything was in the car they went about their normal daily chores and activities. They tried to get everything they could done before nightfall. Gerard was sure that there were things they would miss but at this point he was getting more worried about what was going on with Patty. The more time that went past, the more he was worried about it. His mind kept spinning around possibilities and situations that she or Riverside could have found themselves in. None of them explained why she would call on Gerard and River though. It seemed more likely that she would call for Frank and the others. They would be more helpful in any kind of crisis situation. He didn’t know what was going on and that was probably the worst part of this.

 

As the sun set, Frank ushered them out to the car and got into the driver’s seat. Gerard settled into the back seat with River cuddled into him. It was strange to be leaving right now and it almost felt wrong. He looked out beside them as they drove but it was nothing but darkness as they got further from the station.

 

~~~~~

 

Gerard woke up to them being stopped in an area sheltered by a little bit of a cliff. The sun was up pretty high and he figured it had to be around eleven in the morning. The sun wasn’t quite at it’s peak yet but it was close. Frank was just getting out of the car and shaking Mikey awake. Gerard looked at him and sighed as he started to get out of the car. Frank nodded to him and helped him and a still sleeping River out.

 

“Can you help me set up so that we can try and get some proper sleep?”

 

Gerard nodded and tried to help him set up the little shelters that would keep the sun off of them. The cliff helped now but wouldn’t help with it in the afternoon. As soon as there was one sleeping bag set up Gerard settled River down into it. Frank set up a few other’s and shook both Ray and Bob awake so that they’d get out of the car. They all crawled into their sleeping bags and hid away from the sun. Gerard snuggled into Frank and smiled. Frank chuckled and wrapped an arm around him. Mikey curled up with River and sighed. They all settled in to get the proper sleep that they all needed.

 

“We’ll head out again when it’s dark, after we eat something.”

 

Frank muttered and kissed Gerard’s forehead gently. Gerard nodded and smiled, draping an arm over Frank chest.

 

~~~~~

 

Gerard woke up again when he felt Frank moving under him. He grumbled but sat up and looked around. The sun was just barely setting and Frank didn’t look like he’d actually slept at all. Gerard frowned as he watched Frank dug out food. Gerard sighed and crawled out of the sleeping bag.

 

“Here, let me help you. I don’t want to listen to Bob bitching if you burn it.”

 

Frank sighed but nodded and allowed it. He moved over and started to build the little bit of a fire that they needed to cook. Gerard wasn’t a good cook himself but he didn’t usually have an issue burning things at least. At the smell of the fire and food the others started to stir. Bob looked a little panicked when he smelled food and he looked over to make sure it wasn’t Frank cooking. He smiled when he saw it was Gerard instead. He got out of his sleeping bag and moved over towards the fire but he let Gerard finish what he was doing. When dinner was ready Gerard served it out to them and settled down to eat. Mikey helped River and it was nice to see them interacting in such a normal way. It was always like a weight off his chest when he got to see those kinds of things. They hadn’t totally lost everything and it was a relief.

 

“So, it shouldn’t be too much further. Maybe one more day.”

 

Bob nodded and looked at the horizon in the direction the car was pointing.

 

“As long as we get there soon. This feels a little too open and I don’t trust that there aren’t SCARECROWS lurking about.”

 

“True, I tried to find us a sheltered enough spot but it does feel a little open still.”

 

Frank nodded and finished his food before he started loading their stuff into the car. Bob and Ray finished quickly and moved to help Frank. Gerard ate his dinner and got up to load the last bits of stuff. Mikey finished his dinner and got River up to get her back into the car. Frank still looked exhausted and Gerard stopped him as he went to get in the driver’s seat.

 

“I’ll drive, you look like you haven’t slept. Mikey can help me get where we’re going. You just sleep. Okay?”

 

Frank looked at Gerard and looked like he wanted to argue but just sighed and gave Gerard the keys. They loaded everyone into the car, with River cuddling up in Frank’s lap. Gerard drove for a while and glanced into the backseat to see Frank with his head resting on Ray’s shoulder, and his mouth hanging open a little as he snored quietly. Gerard smiled and kept on driving. He’d be happier when he saw Riverside on the horizon.

 

“It’s pretty much a straight on drive from here, I think. Frank kind of set us up in the straightest line he possibly could. It makes it a lot easier and roads out here aren’t always the most straight-forward. Plus, some of them are broken or non-existent.”

 

“Yeah, I figured that would likely be the case. It’s not like anyone can really do any upkeep on them. It’s almost easier to get places this way though if you think about it.”

 

He sighed and kept going. There wasn’t much to look at, it was quiet and empty out here. It was almost eerie out here at night. He could hear Ray and Bob discussing something in the back seat and he smiled a little. Mikey watched the landscape pass them, occasionally making comments to Gerard about where they were or if he needed to turn a little because they were veering off course a little bit. It was a calming driver. They didn’t see another living soul for the rest of the drive through the night.

 

“How are you feeling about Frank and River lately?”

 

Gerard glanced at Mikey in surprise and sighed.

 

“It’s been good. He seems to be getting close to her and it’s awesome to see. Honestly, I love watching her with all of you. Sometimes there are these moments where it seems so completely normal and it’s like a breath of fresh air.”

 

“Are you going to tell him?”

 

“When this is all over, I really want to. I’ve wanted to tell him for so long. It’ll be easier once he knows, I think. But I’m still so scared for what will happen.”

 

Mikey nodded and looked straight ahead. He looked like he was just as frustrated with it as Gerard was.

 

“I’m still not sure what it is you’re actually afraid of.”

 

Gerard glanced in the rear-view and saw Frank stir a little bit.

 

“We’ll talk about this later, okay?”

 

Mikey looked back at Frank as he started to open his eyes and nodded at Gerard. He was really trying right now and he knew that Bob and Mikey must be dying internally that they couldn’t tell Frank either. Ray had yet to actually say anything to Gerard but he seemed to know. It was almost painful that Frank was the only one that didn’t know at this point. He tried to imagine what it would be like when he finally told Frank. He hoped that Frank would be happy, but the way he talked about having kids in this place made Gerard feel like he might not be so happy about it. He worried about how it would make Frank feel about River and in turn he worried about how that would affect the way he might treat River. He knew that if Frank went back to the way he’d been with her before that it would hurt River so much. He couldn’t imagine the damage that would do to her. For her own father to hate her or push her away. He didn’t know what would happen. He hated that feeling. He hated not knowing.

 

“The sun should be coming up in a few hours shouldn’t it?”

 

Frank leaned against the front seat as much as he could with River still in his lap.

 

“Not quite yet, but yeah soon, should be.”

 

“Ok, wait till it’s coming up and then we can find somewhere to stop and camp for a bit.”

 

Gerard nodded in agreement, and kept driving. When the sun finally did start rising Gerard couldn’t find much of a sheltered place.

 

“Just…we can camp wherever but I’ll stay up and keep watch. I just slept so I’m okay. Gerard can drive again…if you want to?”

 

Gerard pulled over and nodded.

 

“Yeah, that’ll be fine. It’ll be safer with someone keeping watch.”

 

This seemed to please Frank and Gerard couldn’t really argue because there weren’t many other options for them right now. They slowly got their stuff out of the car and set up. River dragged her sleeping bag over to cuddle up with Bob and Mikey. Gerard felt a little abandoned but he was okay with it because she’d be warmer with them. He curled up and watched Frank for a little bit, just sitting there watching the horizon stretch out before them. He sighed and wished that he could put Frank at ease but he, himself, was nervous about everything going on. The idea that SCARECROWS could be out there anywhere was the most nerve-wracking thing. He sighed and curled up as far as he could to try and get some sleep.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> River ignored all of it and walked right up to Patrick without a shred of fear. Patrick looked at little hesitant but she reached her little hand up to hold onto his hook the same as she would to hold onto someone’s hand. Patrick looked shocked and he kneeled down in front of her.
> 
> “Hello, little one. What’s your name?”
> 
> “River.”
> 
> She smiled at him warmly and hugged him tightly. Gerard smiled and shook his head. It made sense that she liked Patrick. He was gentle and looked friendly. Patrick smiled at her and hugged her back, careful to keep his hook away from her.

Frank sighed as he watched the horizon. He heard Gerard’s gentle snore behind him and turned to look at him. He smiled at the sight. He looked so quiet and peaceful, it was nice to see. He looked calmer when he was sleeping. Less concerned about everything going on. He always seemed so worried about River and the things in the world around them. Frank could understand that, he was worried too, he couldn’t stop worrying about what was going on. He was more worried since Gerard and River had arrived. The Wasteland was not a great place for such a young child right now, especially one with BLind after her.

 

He looked at River, curled up on top of Bob and sleeping peacefully. He couldn’t imagine what they’d done to her in the name of their ridiculous experiment to try and control people. She didn’t look as physically beaten down as he was but he knew they had to have tested it somehow. He imagined it was just simple things, mostly in her ability to take orders that a normal kid is expected to. He figured that Cara was probably instrumental in watching over that kind of thing, maybe her teachers as well. He didn’t know but he had a few ideas at least. Nothing definitive or helpful.

 

For the most part it was a quiet night, there were a few times when he heard something and it turned out to be a small animal. He shook his head and stayed in his spot. Nothing seemed to be too much of a concern.

 

That is until he heard something in the distance and he froze. It sounded like a car. He frowned deeply and stood up carefully, he unholstered his gun and cocked it. He didn’t like the sound getting closer. He looked around until he saw the little bit of a cloud of dust coming towards them. He didn’t like it at all. He nudged Gerard with his foot, as he was the closest to him.

 

“Gerard, wake up.”

 

Gerard grumbled and rolled over.

 

“Party Poison, I swear to fucking god, wake the fuck up now.”

 

He kicked Gerard in the leg, not hard enough to really hurt him but enough that it jolted him awake.

 

“What the fuck? What’s going on?”

 

“We have company, now get up.”

 

Gerard frowned and got up quicker. He looked around until he saw what Frank was looking at. Frank frowned deeply and moved over to kick the others awake. Bob growled at him but carefully got up and set River down gently.

 

“What the fuck?”

 

“We have a problem.”

 

The others all got up and looked around until they saw the issue. It put them into action immediately. Bob and Ray started packing things into the car while Mikey, Frank, and Gerard stood guard, watching the car get closer and closer. It was terrifying. He didn’t know what was going on but he could take a wild guess and he didn’t like what it was. It wasn’t long before they could actually make out the vehicle. It was an old Jeep that had been painted completely white. Frank frowned.

 

“SCARECROWS. Get River in the car. Let’s get the hell out of here.”

 

Mikey crouched down and rushed River away. She was startled and confused. She seemed so scared that it hurt Frank to see. Mikey scooped her up and started to run her towards the car before he stumbled back as a shot from a ray gun hit near his feet. There were a couple of other shots and it sent the Killjoys into action. Frank put himself between River and the SCARECROWS and began firing at them.

 

“Get in the car. Now!”

 

He glanced back to make sure Mikey got River into the car and heard Gerard run behind him to get in the driver’s side. Ray stood beside Frank and fired at the assholes. He noticed one man dressed in grey and not wearing a mask. His heart sunk. It was the man that had tortured him when BLind had him in captivity. Frank looked at the men in masks around him and choked.

 

“Shit, let’s get the fuck out of here those are not SCARECROWS.”

 

Frank ran, dragging Ray with him, and climbed into the back of the car. He shoved Mikey to the front seat.

 

“Drive!”

 

Gerard frowned but stepped on it. Bob sat between Frank and Ray, cradling River away from the hell that was unfolding around her.

 

“What do you mean not SCARECROWS?”

 

Ray looked at him as they drove.

 

“Different masks. SCARECROWS are the grunts, expendable, that’s why they send them after us. The only time I’ve seen these guys is when they took me in. That’s why we lost. They actually train these ones. They’re the Draculoids that we’ve heard people mention.”

 

Frank heard Gerard make a sound and he glanced back at Frank.

 

“Those are the ones that are the police force in the city. I never really thought of it but I heard that name before. I saw it in emails. They’re way more trained than SCARECROWS but I never thought anything of it. I didn’t think they came out here. They’re wearing white masks, right?”

 

“Yeah…”

 

“That’s bad. That’s definitely them. They make people in the city nervous which is why their presence is only ever increased when there’s a major threat.”

 

“I thought you didn’t know much about the security system?”

 

Frank raised an eyebrow.

 

“I don’t but I’ve heard of them. Like I said, I didn’t think anything of that. I mostly minded my own business and didn’t ask questions.”

 

“Okay, well there’s another problem…They have Korse with them.”

 

“Korse?”

 

Gerard sounded confused but Mikey spun around in his seat to look at Frank.

 

“You have got to be shitting me.”

 

“Nope. I’d recognize that bald bastard anywhere.”

 

There was a silence for a minute before Gerard spoke.

 

“Who the hell is Korse?”

 

“He’s the knife happy asshole that cut up my face. I didn’t find out who he was till I left but he’s bad news. I am convinced he has no soul.”

 

Frank could see Gerard tense up and grip the steering wheel tighter. Frank looked out the back window and frowned.

 

“They’re right on our ass, I know this thing goes faster…it’s be great if you could find that lead foot you used to have and push that pedal to the floor.”

 

“Well…that’s another problem…when’s the last time you put gas in this thing?”

 

Gerard looked back at Frank, making him panic and look at the gas gage. They were running on fumes.

 

“Fine, push it as far as you can get us. Jet, up out that window and firing. We need to stop them before we stop.”

 

Ray nodded and climbed out the open window to sit on the window sill, Frank did the same on his side. He aimed for the tires but he couldn’t seem to hit them. He growled and aimed for the driver instead. The windshield didn’t budge though. Of course, BLind would have some kind of ray gun resistant bullshit. Gerard turned aggressively and Frank saw an open shot at the tires so he took it and grinned at the satisfying sound out the tire bursting. It brought the car to an almost immediate stop and Gerard was able to put them in the dust. Frank and Ray slipped back into the car and Frank couldn’t help feeling a little relieved.

 

~~~~~

 

Gerard frowned at the car as they stood there trying to decide what to do. It had run for about another hour, which was a miracle on its own. River was clinging to his leg and he sighed.

 

“Well we can stand here like idiots till they find us or we can move and get the hell out of here. We can’t be that far from Riverside, maybe we can get some gas there, we’ve been able to before.”

 

Mikey argued, and Ray nodded but Frank looked a little hesitant.

 

“Yeah, we can do that but I’m thinking now that we’re walking into a trap. How the hell else would they have found us?”

 

“They’ve been patrolling the Wasteland. We know that.”

 

Ray frowned and Frank looked at him like he was an idiot.

 

“Frank has a point though. Patty calls us up to Riverside and BLind just happens to find us? Something isn’t right here and I’ve felt like something was wrong since we got the call. Something is definitely going on.”

 

“Okay, but do you have any better ideas? We can’t just stand here in the open or they’ll find us again immediately.”

 

“Is there another settlement nearby?”

 

“The Graveyard is pretty close to here…”

 

Bob spoke up and leaned against the car.

 

“You make an excellent point. The Youngbloods will be there. They will help us no problem.”

 

Ray nodded and looked at Mikey, who was watching Bob.

 

“You sure you want to go there? Last time you went there you tried to punch him.”

 

“Yeah well, that was a long time ago and he was flirting with you in front of me and his own man. Of course, I was pissed.”

 

Mikey nodded and sighed.

 

“Okay, so the Graveyard then. That’s in Death Valley though.”

 

“It’ll be fine.”

 

Frank waved off Mikey’s concern. They started gathering what they would need immediately, including an empty jerry can out of the trunk of the car. Gerard wasn’t totally sure where they were going or what they were walking into but he couldn’t really argue against it because it was their best option right now. He picked up River and started walking with the others. It was a long, quiet, and very sweaty walk. He was what they meant by Death Valley when they got to it. It was definitely a valley and he could see wrecked cars and skeletons of people who’d been killed here and not quite buried. He frowned and hid River’s face against his neck. Of all the things she’d seen and would see out here, this was not one of the things he really wanted to have to explain right now. Frank looked at him and nodded. As they went down into the valley, he noticed some trailers and a junkyard in the distance.

 

“That the Graveyard?”

 

“Yup. The only place in the Wasteland that you’ll never hear music, ever.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because when you play music here, people end up dead. It’s…a long story. I’m sure if you ask them, they’ll tell you.”

 

“Them?”

 

“The Youngbloods. They’re a little different from the Killjoys, but same idea. No Killjoy names.”

 

Gerard frowned but followed the others. It took them another half hour to actually reach the settlement and when they did, they were greeted with a blade attached the end of a guitar neck, held by a shorter man with pink hair and a bandana covering most of his face. He froze when he actually stopped to look at the people he was threatening though. Gerard smiled as he pulled the bandana down and grinned at them.

 

“Pete?”

 

Gerard shook his head, of course it would be Pete. No wonder the others had talked about Bob trying to punch someone.

 

“Hey dude. What do they call you now?”

 

“Party Poison.”

 

“Oh…that explains a lot. Come on. The others are hiding out right now. There’ve been a lot of attacks lately and Patrick’s a little nervous of them finding him so when we saw you guys coming, we hid him.”

 

Pete waved them on and they followed him towards the center of the trailers.

 

“Come on out guys, it’s just our favourite bunch of Killjoys.”

 

He hollered and within a minute Gerard saw Joe and Andy poke their heads out of one of the trailers. They smiled widely and ran out to greet them. Patrick followed cautiously behind and Gerard couldn’t help but notice the hook in place of his left hand.

 

“Fun Ghoul! What brings you guys to our neck of the woods?”

 

Joe hugged Frank and patted him on the back.

 

“Actually, the car ran out of gas and we need to get moving before those fuckers find us.”

 

“Yeah we heard they were after someone. Didn’t know you had Party Poison in your group now.”

 

Joe looked up and saw Gerard.

 

“Oh, that must be you then. What rock did you crawl out from under? It’s been years.”

 

“BLind’s city, actually. Not a place I ever want to go back to.”

 

“How’d they suck you into their bullshit?”

 

“Didn’t have an option at the time.”

 

Gerard avoided meeting anyone’s eyes, especially Frank’s. He set River down carefully and she looked at these new people curiously. Frank crouched down beside her and smiled.

 

“This is Pete, Patrick, Joe, and Andy. They’re our friends.”

 

“Awe, she’s adorable. Didn’t know you had a kid.”

 

“I don’t. She’s Gerard’s.”

 

Gerard’s heart skipped a beat at the sound of the words coming out of Frank’s mouth. River ignored all of it and walked right up to Patrick without a shred of fear. Patrick looked at little hesitant but she reached her little hand up to hold onto his hook the same as she would to hold onto someone’s hand. Patrick looked shocked and he kneeled down in front of her.

 

“Hello, little one. What’s your name?”

 

“River.”

 

She smiled at him warmly and hugged him tightly. Gerard smiled and shook his head. It made sense that she liked Patrick. He was gentle and looked friendly. Patrick smiled at her and hugged her back, careful to keep his hook away from her.

 

“Come on, let’s get inside. Andy, can you take Bob and go fill that gas can?”

 

“No problem.”

 

Andy motioned for Bob to follow him and Frank gave him the jerry can. The rest of them followed Pete into the trailer. Patrick picked River up with his one good arm and carried her with him. Gerard smiled knowing that she had more friends here.

 

“So, Patrick, can you explain to Party why there’s no music here? I mentioned it to him earlier but it’s easier for you to explain.”

 

Frank sat down and looked at him. Patrick looked startled but nodded.

 

“Uh…well I was caught by BLind around the same time that Frank was. They were doing a few different experiments, I guess. While Frank was in Experimental Compliance Treatment, they had me in the Kill Switch tests.”

 

“Kill Switch?”

 

“Well, they tried ECT on me and it didn’t quite take but they had another idea…that actually kind of worked. It was like brainwashing, mixed with some fucked up shock therapy type stuff. The idea, though, was to make it so that I had like a mental switch that would send me into a type of homicidal fit. I damn near killed all my friends when they let me loose on them.”

 

“Okay…that’s fucked up…but doesn’t explain the no music thing.”

 

“Music was the switch. Whenever I hear music, I become a killer. Which is why there will never be any music here. Pete made sure of that. We don’t have any radios or functioning instruments here. He shuts me up when I get the urge to start singing.”

 

“I go up to Riverside when we need news updates.”

 

Joe smiled and sat down on the bench beside Patrick.

 

“Have you been there recently?”

 

“Maybe a few weeks ago. It’s not there anymore though.”

 

“Wait, what do you mean it’s not there anymore?”

 

“BLind rained down on that place hard. Blew it sky high. No idea why. They killed most of the people there. Some agreed to conform but Old Patty and Screamer were taken. We assume they’re probably in the lab now. You didn’t hear about that?”

 

“No, Old Patty called us up to Riverside.”

 

“That ain’t her then. You’ve been set up.”

 

“Fuck. So, I was right about it being a trap then.”

 

Frank leaned his head back and sighed in frustration. Pete looked at him in concern.

 

“Unfortunately, it looks like it. You ran into some SCARECROWS?”

 

“No, Draculoids and Korse.”

 

“Oh shit. They really want you. What the fuck dude?”

 

“They’re after River. They were doing the ECT on her till Party got her out of there.”

 

“On a kid? You’ve got to be kidding me. That’s a whole new level of fucked up.”

 

“They were doing it and never told me about it.”

 

Gerard frowned and looked at River, who was leaning over Patrick’s shoulder to play with Pete’s pink hair where he was standing behind Patrick a little. Pete leaned into her touch and grinned, making her giggle. Patrick looked back at them and frowned, handing her to Pete.

 

“Here, you hold her, quit trying to make me drop her.”

 

Pete shifted River’s weight in his arms and smiled as she continued to play with his hair.

 

“Not my fault. She’s a fan of the pink apparently.”

 

Patrick rolled his eyes and looked back at Gerard.

 

“Do you know if it was working?”

 

“I don’t think it was. She’s a stubborn kid. They compared her to Frank in stubbornness.”

 

Pete laughed and shook his head.

 

“Well you must be incredibly hard headed then because Frankie is the most stubborn and defiant human being I’ve ever met, beat only by Patrick.”

 

Patrick stuck his tongue out at Pete and River smiled at him. Joe was studying River though and frowned, looking between her, Frank, and then finally resting his questioning gaze on Gerard. He raised an eyebrow when Gerard shook his head and moved to sit beside Gerard.

 

“I call bullshit, she’s got his eyes. Don’t tell me she’s not his.”

 

Joe leaned over and whispered in Gerard’s ear. Gerard frowned at him and whispered back.

 

“I’m not telling you that, I’m telling you not to open your mouth and say that.”

 

Joe frowned at him.

 

“He doesn’t know? Dude…how does he not?”

 

“She was born in the city and he assumed she was someone else’s. It’s been hard enough to come back to him and the others as it is. I’m going to tell him though…just not yet.”

 

Joe didn’t look convinced but he nodded anyways and leaned against Gerard as he looked at the others who’d been having their own conversation.

 

“So, they must know that Party lived there then. And that he knew Patty, if they went after her. That would make sense, though how they would know that isn’t really clear.”

 

“I’m beginning to think they have eyes out here somewhere.”

 

Patrick raised an eyebrow and looked at Gerard.

 

“You said you lived in the city. Did you ever hear about anything like that?”

 

Gerard frowned and thought of all the emails he glossed through.

 

“Well they have heavy video surveillance everywhere in the city. They always know what is happening at all times pretty much. It wouldn’t be much of a stretch to think they might have installed some out here in places they could easily get to and Riverside is pretty open to newcomers. They took me in almost immediately, gave me a home and work.”

 

“So, a spy in Riverside wouldn’t be out of the question either then? Riverside is kind of the entryway settlement in that area of the Wasteland.”

 

“No, I guess that wouldn’t be such an outlandish idea. But everyone there seemed to really know everyone else. It was like a big family there. You’ve seen it.”

 

Pete shook his head.

 

“We only ever really talked to Patty and didn’t stay there long. It was just a settlement. We didn’t want to get too attached because we knew that with Patrick and what was done to him…we have to stay out here. Killjoy’s are all about creativity and freedom. Music is pretty engrained in that.”

 

Gerard nodded and sighed.

 

“You lived there for a long time though, Gerard. There wasn’t ever that hermit outsider?”

 

“Not really. Not that I noticed. People passed through all the time. The only ones I ever saw them make a fuss over was Frank and Mikey when they came to get me.”

 

Patrick frowned and looked at Pete.

 

“So, a spy could pass through and no one would think anything of it at all.”

 

“They could be anywhere too. Only small settlements would question new comers. They could be in Haven or Battery City for all we know.”

 

Gerard frowned at the thought of that. If BLind had people amongst them then what did they know? Was there a chance that they were already screwed? It started to freak Gerard out more than a little bit. He looked at Frank, who also looked concerned at the idea too. The door opened and Bob came in with Andy, carrying the gas can.

 

“We should probably get going before BLind catches up to us and finds out we were here. The last thing we need is them finding Patrick.”

 

Bob looked at them and Frank nodded. Pete gently set River down and smiled at her. He reached into his pocket and gave her what Gerard thought looked like a Fall Out Boy guitar pick on a chain. She smiled happily and let him help her put it on.

 

“We’ll see you guys again when this is sorted out, I’m sure. But you can keep this with you.”

 

River hugged him and then he shooed her over to Gerard. Frank stood up and they all got ready to walk back to the car.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Where is she?”
> 
> This made Mikey look up with distress written all over his face.
> 
> “They took her…I couldn’t stop them and they fucking took her.”

The walk back was one that Gerard hadn’t imagined would be so full of anxiety but just knowing that BLind was out there and that they could have been out here all along was still freaking him out. He just wanted his daughter to be safe and if they were out here then she wasn’t. Frank broke the silence.

 

“You got real whispery with Joe.”

 

Gerard looked over at Frank and frowned. He hadn’t thought that Frank would take that much notice.

 

“Oh…he noticed something and was just asking me about it. No big deal.”

 

Frank looked doubtful but nodded and seemed to let it go at least. They walked for a while before Gerard’s heart dropped at the sound of a vehicle. The other’s stopped and looked around. Frank pulled his mask out of his pocket and put it on. Ray and Mikey flipped down the visors on their helmets. Gerard pulled down his mask and tucked River behind his leg, pulling out his gun.

 

“They’re not getting this kid and we’re not going down without a fight.”

 

Ray moved closer to Gerard and Frank nodded in agreement. The vehicle got closer and stopped when it was close enough for them to get out. Gerard saw the man that Frank had called Korse and he frowned. Several Draculoids got out with him and they stood on either side of him. There was hardly a breath before all hell broke loose and they were firing on the Killjoys. Bob was the first to be hit and the first to fall. He was still breathing but it made Gerard even more nervous. He fired back at them the best he could and tried to keep River behind him. He growled when a shot hit his leg, very close to River. He growled and fixed his aim on the Draculoid that had fired the shot, aiming for his head. It was far too satisfying to see the asshole crumple and hit the ground.

 

After that it was hard to keep track of what was happening and he didn’t realize River had gotten separated from him until he heard her screaming in fear. He spun around to see a Draculoid standing far too close to her for his liking. He moved over to them and put the barrel of the gun to the man’s head.

 

“Get the fuck away from my kid.”

 

He warned but the Draculoid just laughed. He pulled the trigger and shooed River, trying to get her to go hide behind a rock or something. He growled as someone shot him in the arm and heard River take off running as he spun around. He didn’t see the person that attacked him as their fist met his face and the world fell to blackness.

 

He didn’t know how long it’d been but it was starting to get dark when he came to again. All he saw was River screaming and squirming as Korse held her just under her shoulder, dragging her to the car. He tried to force himself up to stop it but his head spun and threatened to put him out again. He reached for his gun but it was too far away. He scrambled for it but they were already in the vehicle before he could get it. They sped away at top speed, and just like that she was gone. He heard a groan and looked over to see Frank sitting up and Mikey barely crawling over to make sure Bob was okay. Ray shook his head and took off his helmet. They all just sat there, catching their bearings again. Gerard didn’t realize he was crying until Frank crawled over to him and wiped away the tears. Then Frank stopped and looked around.

 

“Where is she?”

 

This made Mikey look up with distress written all over his face.

 

“They took her…I couldn’t stop them and they fucking took her.”

 

Gerard curled in on himself and let the tears fall. His chest heaved as the loss weighed on him. They had her now and they’d take her back to whatever lab again.

 

“Gerard…we’ll get her back. She’ll be okay.”

 

Mikey looked like he wanted to cry too but was refusing to because that wouldn’t help his brother or his niece right now. Frank wrapped Gerard in a tight hug and kissed his forehead, trying to make him feel better he supposed but it wasn’t helping either. Gerard pushed him away and Frank looked hurt. He watched Gerard as he stood up and brushed himself off, almost falling over as his head spun a little again. Frank stood up and steadied him only to be pushed away again. Gerard grabbed his mask and his gun, starting to walk away, when Frank grabbed his arm.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“To get my kid back, what the fuck else would I be doing? I’m not going to just sit here and let them hurt her.”

 

Frank frowned.

 

“Okay, well you can’t walk there. You’ll never catch up with them.”

 

“I don’t need to catch up with them. If I get caught and let them take me, they’ll take me right to her.”

 

“No, no they won’t. They’ll kill you. If they’d wanted to take you then they would have. You were unconscious. They had their chance. We’ll go back to the car and we’ll go after them.”

 

Frank spoke more gently than he had since Gerard had found him again. He was trying to soothe Gerard but it wasn’t working.

 

“We don’t know where they’re going so how are we going to do that? They’ve already got a head start.”

 

Frank looked frustrated.

 

“We’ll turn on the radio and switch to their station. I promise you right now, we will get her back.”

 

Gerard hesitated for a minute because Frank didn’t make promises lightly. If he said that it meant he would move heaven and hell to get her back for Gerard. He wiped at the dampness on his face and looked at Mikey, who was giving him a look that Bob was imitating. Gerard sighed and looked at the ground. He knew what they wanted him to do but his voice was caught in his throat again.

 

“Gee…I do want to ask you something though…because one of them said something that caught my attention.”

 

Gerard looked at Frank nervously.

 

“Mikey and Bob are both giving you a look right now because they think I’m blind apparently, which is giving me a feeling this is what you haven’t been telling me this whole time. And one of those Draculoids said something. At first, I thought they were talking about me, saying to grab me…but my name is Fun Ghoul to them…not ‘the little River Ghoul’ and they didn’t want me, they wanted her…care to explain?”

 

Gerard’s heart stopped and he saw the look in Frank’s eyes. He couldn’t lie to him. He knew now. It was a weigh off his shoulders but he felt panicked at what would follow next.

 

“Frank…I…stayed in the city…because I was already pregnant. I was afraid to have a baby out here. I wanted to tell you, that’s what was in the letter…”

 

“So…I’m the father that left then…you hid that from me. You lied to me and pretended not to know who the father was…so that…what? I wouldn’t know she was my daughter? How could you keep that from me, Gerard?”

 

“Because I was afraid! I was afraid of what you would think, what you would say. I didn’t want you to push me or her away again. The day that you said you’d rather get a dog at the time I already knew I was pregnant. You didn’t want a kid and I didn’t have an option.”

 

Gerard moved away from Frank, but Frank wasn’t having it. He grabbed Gerard’s arm and held him in place.

 

“Why the fuck would I push either of you away? I was angry because I thought you’d gone and slept with someone else, that she was someone else’s kid. Why would I hurt either of you if I knew she was mine? And now, I have to wait until those bastards have taken her to find out who she actually is?”

 

“I didn’t _know_ , Frank. I found you again and you weren’t what I remembered. How was I supposed to know that you’d be happy to have a daughter when you made it so clear that you didn’t want one?”

 

Frank looked actually pissed off at the implications of Gerard’s words.

 

“Because, maybe I hadn’t wanted one but I will never, ever hurt her or push her away because of that. She is _my daughter_ and I would rather be a father to her than the asshole that left her. I didn’t know she even existed. You kept that from me. Maybe I didn’t want a kid right then, maybe I thought it would be responsible to wait. To have a safe and stable home first. But we don’t always get to choose what happens in our lives and I won’t take that out on a kid, or you for that matter, because no matter what happens in out bullshit lives, I love you and if this is the family that I get then I am happy with that. What I’m not happy with is you lying to me.”

 

Gerard felt the tears building in his eyes and he couldn’t look at Frank.

 

“I tried to tell you. I wanted to. It killed me not to tell you and Mikey and Bob and Joe all gave me hell for not telling you.”

 

“Joe knew?”

 

“She has your eyes. Of course, he fucking knew. He noticed immediately.”

 

Frank stopped and frowned, Gerard could see the realization in his eyes. He’d seen it too but passed it off. He’d known and never realized it.

 

“Frank, she’s small like you, she’s got a shit immune system the same way you always have…she’s got your attitude and defiance. It’s made it impossible to raise her because ever time I look at her, all I see is you.”

 

Frank choked and shook his head.

 

“Gerard…let’s get our shit together…and go get our fucking daughter so I can hold her and tell her that I love her…and apologize for not being there for her.”

 

Gerard nodded and offered Frank a weak smile. Frank kissed him and let go of his arm. Mikey smiled at Gerard encouragingly but Gerard still wasn’t sure how to feel. He was happy that Frank knew, and that he didn’t hate River. But Frank was still going to be upset about Gerard lying for a while and that wouldn’t be easy to get over. Gerard understood that and he felt horrible for lying to Frank but at the time he’d been too afraid to tell him the truth. Even if he knew it was okay now, it hadn’t seemed like it would be before.

 

“Can I read that letter at some point, by the way? I don’t know why I never got it but I’d like to know what it said.”

 

Gerard nodded and pulled it out of his pocket, still unopened and a little crumpled looking and dirty but Frank’s name was clear as day across it. Mikey paused and looked at Gerard.

 

“You said that Cara gave you that, right?”

 

“Yeah…”

 

“Who’s to say she didn’t take it before Frank even got to the apartment? I mean, from the sound of it BLind has been up to some shady shit. Maybe it was intentional that you were separated from Frank. You’re just as stubborn and defiant as he is, that’s why we never understood why you stayed…but you had a baby to protect so that explains it…but if Frank had stayed…who’s to say you wouldn’t have left sooner? You’d have had the support you needed not to be afraid.”

 

Gerard looked at Mikey wide eyed and it put into place a lot of puzzle pieces that never made any sense to him. Frank had said it hadn’t been there when he got there. Mikey’s explanation filled in those blanks.

 

“Uh…speaking of blind…”

 

Ray spoke up and Gerard looked at him. He gasped as he realized how scorched and destroyed his right eye looked.

 

“I can’t see shit on my right side and it’s a little disorienting.”

 

“Well, Ray darling, that would be because some asshole shot you directly in the eye. I don’t know how you’re not screaming in agony right now.”

 

“Oh, I’d very much like to but I don’t think it would help much. Guess that stupid eyepatch that Mikey found last year will finally come in handy if it’s in the car still.”

 

“Yeah, it’s in the glove box.”

 

Mikey shook his head and helped Ray stand up carefully.

 

“We need to get to that car.”

 

~~~~~

 

Frank was busy filling the car with the gas from the can they’d brought. Gerard was just glad that BLind hadn’t taken it. Maybe they just hadn’t noticed it but it didn’t matter. They had gas in the car. Gerard was occupied helping Mikey try to clean up what was left of Ray’s eye before they put the eye patch over it. This basically consisted of Bob holding him still while the two brothers took turns trying to make sense of what they were looking at, without puking, and clean it. After a while Gerard called it and said that’d have to do for now. He couldn’t take anymore of it. Ray’s eye was fully ruined but it didn’t look like it would affect more than just his eye. Ray climbed into the back seat and sat there, looking like he felt a little useless right now but Bob dragged him back out to work on figuring out his shot with limited vision and poor depth perception. They worked on that until he was doing well enough to defend himself and help get River back.

 

“Gerard can drive, I’ve got some reading to do.”

 

Frank muttered as he tore at the envelope while he climbed into the backseat. Gerard frowned but nodded. Mikey climbed into the passenger seat while Bob and Ray wiggled in beside Frank. Mikey pulled out the map and turned on the radio, fiddling with it till they got to the right station.

 

_“River Ghoul-Way has been brought in safely, we’d like to thank you for all of your cooperation. She’ll be kept safe until she can be returned to her home.”_

 

Gerard felt sick as he heard it and frowned as he drove. Mikey looked at the map and sighed.

 

“Okay, so they’re not taking her directly to the city. To me that says they’re probably going towards the outposts they’ve set up in the northern part of the Wasteland.”

 

“Just tell me where to go.”

 

Mikey nodded and looked at the map and then back towards the direction they’d come from when they left Death Valley. He pointed towards the windshield but to the left so Gerard nodded and turned in that direction. All of a sudden, he got a swat in the back of the head and glanced in the rear-view mirror to see a rather upset Frank.

 

“I thought you had the fucking flu, you rat bastard. Next time…fucking tell me that shit. Don’t hesitate because of what you think I might say. I would have stayed until she was born and then I would have got the both of you the hell out of there long before they could experiment on her.”

 

Mikey snickered.

 

“So, would now be a good time to out Gerard for his recent bought of throwing up when he thinks no one notices?”

 

Gerard glared at him and slapped him.

 

“That was from that nasty fucking food you fed me the one day. There’s no way in hell that I’m pr-.”

 

“Three times in two weeks? I think not, brother. Besides, we all know you fucked him last time we were in Riverside. I saw more of you than I’d have liked to, remember?”

 

Gerard winced because he did remember that and he’d rather not. He was just glad he’d had that blanket on still. He mentally stopped though and started to think about it.

 

“Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me. Frank…once we find River…I’m gonna fucking kill you.”

 

“Hey! I am not the only one to blame here. We’ll worry about that when we get there.”

 

Gerard could see that Frank was grinning a little bit though and it made him smile. Mikey could be wrong and so could Gerard but the idea that it was possible brought him a new feeling of hope. That maybe they were getting a second chance to do this right. Once they had their daughter back, they could start to figure that out.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Two questions; did you take the letter I left for Frank so he wouldn’t see it and were you a part of what they did to River?”
> 
> She didn’t answer, she just grinned but that was answer enough.

Gerard drove through the night and didn’t stop when the sun came up. It wasn’t until Mikey made him pull over so they could switch seats that he got to sleep. They stopped only once when they saw a settlement to send a message out to Dr. Death Defy to let him know what was happening. When the sun went down again, they switched back. Gerard drove until he saw a building that had been restored and a tunnel with a road going through it. He didn’t see any other way to really get in so he pushed down on the gas pedal and headed in. There was a security station with an arm down to block the way but he didn’t stop for it. He heard the person standing there yell at them as they passed.

 

“Well they know we’re here now.”

 

“They’d have known anyways. BLind doesn’t inhabit anywhere that doesn’t have a ton of cameras.”

 

“Fair enough.”

 

Mikey nodded as they drove through the tunnel and up to an office building type place. It looked like it had been missed by the bombs and destruction completely but that wasn’t much of a surprise. BLind had time to clean it up and they worked fast. They pulled up in front of the glass doors and jumped out quickly. They were running on a clock to get in, get River, and get out before the place was overrun with Draculoids. They pulled out their guns as they moved and didn’t bother with masks or helmets this time. Gerard didn’t care anymore, he wanted his daughter back.

 

“Bob, stay here, get in the driver’s seat, and keep the car running.”

 

Bob nodded and did as he was told, knowing they’d need to get out as fast as possible when they got out. There were already Draculoids coming down on them as they got inside but they didn’t stop. Gerard shot as many as he could and the other’s matched it. Mikey walked beside him, easily keeping up with Gerard’s pace. He heard slightly quicker steps behind him and he knew it was Frank because Ray would have no problem keeping pace, only Frank would.

 

The building itself was a bit of a maze and once you really got into it, it looked less like an office building and more like an experimental science-oriented hospital with offices mixed in. Almost like something out of X-Men. It made Gerard’s blood boil. Most of it was empty though. They moved until they ended up upstairs. They turned down a hallway and Gerard saw Cara, standing there with a gun. He scowled at her and brought his gun up.

 

“Two questions; did you take the letter I left for Frank so he wouldn’t see it and were you a part of what they did to River?”

 

She didn’t answer, she just grinned but that was answer enough. Gerard knew what he needed to know. Before he could fire on her though he heard someone else do it and looked back to see Frank holding his gun up.

 

“I’m guessing that was Cara?”

 

“Yup.”

 

“Good. Stupid bitch fucked with the wrong people and I’ve wanted to do that since you first told me about her. She’s the one that took you from me. And she’s taken River from me twice.”

 

Gerard grinned and they went into the door a little way down from where Cara was. It was the only one in this section. It was the security room, with all of the camera feeds displayed on screens in front of them. There were two men sitting at the computers and River, sitting by herself, curled up in the corner with her hands over her ears and a ball sitting near her. Ray and Mikey took care of the men as Gerard fell to his knees in front of River. She looked up and jumped, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him tighter than she ever had before. She was shaking and crying, and obviously terrified.

 

“You’re okay. I’m here now. It’ll be okay. We’re gonna get you out of here, I promise.”

 

Gerard looked up to see Frank beside him and he nodded. Frank crouched down beside him.

 

“River, sweetie, there’s something I didn’t tell you before and we don’t have a lot of time but this can’t wait. Okay?”

 

River nodded and looked at him curiously.

 

“You remember how I told you that your Papa left us a long time ago?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“What I didn’t tell you was who he was or why he left. I’ll tell you everything later but right now I just need you to know who he is.”

 

Gerard looked at Frank and River followed his gaze. Frank smiled at her.

 

“Hi, baby, I just found out today. Your Daddy has a lot of explaining to do.”

 

“You’re my Papa?”

 

“Yeah, and I’m sorry it took this long for you to know that.”

 

Frank held out his arms to her and she ran to him and hugged him, letting him pick her up. He whispered to her and kissed the top of her head.

 

“You’ve got me now. I won’t let anything happen to you. I love you so much and I’m so sorry I left.”

 

“It’s okay, Papa. I love you too. Does that mean…that Daddy is Gee?”

 

Frank grinned and chuckled, looking at Gerard.

 

“You’re damn right it does.”

 

River beamed with excitement. Mikey tapped on Frank’s shoulder.

 

“I really hate to break this up right now but I hear a lot of footsteps. We need to get the hell out of here. You can continue in the car once we’re far far away from here.”

 

Frank nodded and set River down.

 

“Come on, we gotta move fast. Let’s get out of here and go the hell home.”

 

Gerard nodded and they took off running. They got down the hall and Mikey spotted a back stairwell. They followed him down it and into the main hall they’d come in through. The room was already flooding with Draculoids and River screamed as they started firing. One of them got too close to River and he grabbed a hold of his head as he shot him in the back. As he fell though, the mask came off and he saw a face he knew from before BLind. He gasped and stood there in shock for a minute. Before he could react, he felt himself being shoved up against a wall. He came face to face with Korse and felt the barrel of the gun under his chin. The last thing he heard was a bang, mixed with both Mikey and River’s screams.

 

~~~~~

 

Bob bolted into the building as he saw Korse pin Gerard, to hell with staying in the car he thought as the fear for Gerard’s life took over. He got inside just in time to see the gun go off and see Gerard’s body slump to the floor. He stumbled a little but he heard Mikey yell and saw River standing amongst the chaos with her ears covered and crying. She didn’t even know what was happening around her, she was just scared. He ran over to her and sheltered her against his chest. As he did, he saw Mikey running. There was a flash from a gun and Mikey stopped in his tracks, falling backwards. Bob wanted to scream, he wanted to cry, but he couldn’t. He had to protect River. Instead he shot at the Draculoid that had just killed Mikey. Frank came barrelling at Bob with Ray close behind.

 

“Get her the fuck out of here. Now!”

 

Frank yelled and pushed Bob to get up. Ray helped him usher River out of the building. When Bob turned around to make sure everything was okay, he saw Frank pulling the doors shut from the inside. His heart sank. Frank wasn’t coming out. He wasn’t going home with his daughter. Not without Gerard. He turned around and walked into the chaos, firing at Korse specifically. Bob watched in horror as a shot hit Frank’s chest but he didn’t go down immediately. It took the second shot to the chest before he fell.

 

“Get in the car.”

 

Ray yelled and shot at the Draculoids that’d broken the glass to shoot at them and were now coming through. Bob turned around to see Dr. Death Defy’s van pull up and the sliding door open just as he heard a thump on the car. He turned to see Ray sprawled out across the hood of the car. His heart wretched and he couldn’t stop the tears now. He felt a hand on his arm pulling him into the van and he let it. He was thrown in with River cowering in the corner and Showpony trying to calm her. Dr. Death Defy himself was the one that pulled Bob in. Bob looked at River and scooped her up in his lap. She was still shaking and crying.

 

“It’s okay, little one, it’s okay.”

 

“Where are Daddy and Papa? And Uncle Mikey and Ray?”

 

Bob shushed her.

 

“They’re not coming home with us. The bad guys got them. You’ll be okay though, I promise.”

He held her and she nuzzled into his chest. Everything was upside down for both of them right now and this was probably the only comfort she would get for a long time. It horrified him to know that she knew who Frank was now and lost him the second that she knew. She’d called him Papa. She’d found her father and become and orphan all in one day. He felt so sick right now but he just sat there and held onto her tightly.

 

“Tell me story?”

 

She whispered quietly and he nodded.

 

“A long time ago, after two great towers fell, a man named Gerard Arthur Way had an idea. He called on his little brother Mikey and their friend Ray…and they started a band…”


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I was in Haven yesterday and I heard some people whispering. They said something about thinking they saw Party Poison, Fun Ghoul, Jet Star, and Kobra Kid. That’s not possible though, is it?”
> 
> Bob frowned and dropped the map.
> 
> “Who said that?”

Bob sighed and looked at the map. There was nothing helpful on it but he had nothing else to do. It was quiet out. It’d been fourteen years and BLind had been put in its place. That didn’t mean that the world had healed but it was being rebuilt. He knew it wasn’t likely to be whole again in his life time so he didn’t fret about it too much. Settlements were being built into towns. Food was more available and goods were more easily accessible across the wasteland. The cities were a little more colourful and lively now. They actually visited them sometimes. Bob had gotten all the material he needed to build the diner into a proper home though.

 

The Youngbloods had left the Graveyard. Shortly after BLind’s fall someone had found how to turn off Patrick’s kill switch hidden in their labs. There were still some BLind supporters though, and some of the people running it had escaped. No one was worried about them for now though because there weren’t actually that many of them. Patrick, upon being released from his music ban, had gone back to working with the rest of Fall Out Boy to make new music. They’d written a song called Phoenix and Bob felt that it couldn’t be more accurate about the state of the world. They were rising from the ashes of what was left behind. He smiled at the thought and starting humming the tune to himself.

 

“Uncle Bob, are you humming that song again?”

 

Bob looked up and grinned guiltily. The world wasn’t the only thing that’d changed. River had grown up. She was a spitting image of her fathers. Her eyes pierced into your soul and were the same haunting golden grown and green mix that Frank’s had been. Her face was overall a lot like his but you could see Gerard there too if you looked at her just the right way. Especially when she was concentrating on a drawing. She was small like Frank was too but she had Gerard’s dark hair and it hung in her face constantly so she tucked it behind her ear.

 

“Yes, I am. Do you have a problem with that, young lady?”

 

She grinned and turned on the CD player sitting on the counter and fiddled with it till Phoenix came on.

 

“Nope.”

 

She hopped up and sat on the counter.

 

“I was in Haven yesterday and I heard some people whispering. They said something about thinking they saw Party Poison, Fun Ghoul, Jet Star, and Kobra Kid. That’s not possible though, is it?”

 

Bob frowned and dropped the map.

 

“Who said that?”

 

“I don’t know who they were, they were just talking and I was kind of eavesdropping. It’s fine, I just…wasn’t sure.”

 

Bob frowned and rested his head between his hands.

 

“River, you know I wish so much that that could be true but I watched all of them die and that was fourteen years ago. It would take a miracle for them to still be alive. I would ignore them if I were you because I will not believe those rumours until the day that I see one of the four of them walk in that door and even then, I’m gonna question what sort of bullshit sorcery is going on. People don’t just come back from the dead. I’m sorry.”

 

River nodded.

 

“It’s ok, Uncle Bob, I just wondered. I mean. We’ve seen people survive ray gun blasts before. Hell, I’ve had to shoot a bastard twice because he got back up. It happens. I just didn’t know if there was a chance it could’ve happened to them.”

 

Bob sighed and held his arms out to her. She hopped down and moved over to sit beside him and hug him.

 

“I know. But I don’t think they could’ve survived head or chest shots. When you get hit there…it really fucks things up and you don’t come back from it.”

 

River nodded.

 

“You said that Daddy thought he was carrying a baby at the time, right?”

 

“Well, your Uncle Mikey thought so. There were a lot of things that hinted he might have been and your Papa…well…he was…him…and I’m leaving it at that. But it’s possible.”

 

“What do you think things would have been like if they’d come home with us?”

 

“Very different. You’d have a younger sibling, because even if Gerard hadn’t been pregnant at the time, I doubt things would have stayed that way. Your Papa was pretty happy about the idea of your Daddy being pregnant again, even though he wasn’t fond of the idea of having kids in the kind of environment we were living in.”

 

River smiled and leaned into his chest, just staying there for a while.

 

“And I know your Papa loved dogs so maybe you’d have gotten a dog. I’m…I like cats better, that’s why I never got you a dog. I wouldn’t have known how to take care of the damn thing.”

 

Bob smiled at the though and shook his head. He was drawn out of his thoughts by a pounding on the door and the sound of a familiar laugh. He froze and got up, motioning for River to stay where she was. She didn’t look happy about it but she listened. Bob leaned against the door, listening, but it was quiet. Then he heard someone whisper and someone else laugh. He knew that maniacal little pot giggle but that wasn’t possible. He grabbed his gun and flung the door open. He stopped in his tracks at what he saw.

 

“Hey Bob, long time no see.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm always online somewhere if you wanna chat or talk stories or art.  
> you can find me @ thePetetoherPat on Twitter, thepetetoherpatrick.tumblr.com, and @ xo_thepetetoherpatrick_xo on Instagram ^-^  
> I also post drawings on Instagram @ punkwithapenart


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